I know there's a skinny girl under there somewhere!

[Tits McGee]

This is my second attempt at SBD. The first time I did it (last March) I was on it for about a month and I lost 19 lbs. without exercising once. I know this works for me, but it is difficult because I deal with an eating disorder that makes me prone to crash dieting and starvation. Two years ago, I was 215 lbs. This morning I weighed myself and I was 166 lbs. A loss of 49 lbs.! I am proud of that, but at 5'6" I should be closer to 140 lbs. I think that I can get to my goal weight realistically by next July. My first mini goal is to be 160 by New Years. Let's just see how that goes!

[Tits McGee]

I forgot how horrible the SBD flu is. I wish I could crawl under my bed and die! It probably wasn't a good idea to start this during finals week. At the staff meeting today, everyone was given a goodie bag of Christmas candies and whatnot. I traded my candy to someone who had gotten some sugar free hard candies. It was so hard, but a victory nonetheless. A co-worker brought in delicious cookies and set them on the shelf right next to my desk! I have been watching everyone eat cookies and treats all day long. I didn't think I had it in me to refrain, but I might be a little stronger than I thought.

[Tits McGee]

Okay, so I survived the worst part... I hope. Today the headache is a little better, but my cravings are still there. This is partly due to the fact that my co-workers are carting in holiday goodies by the truckload and setting them right next to my desk. I never in a million years thought I could refrain from eating cookies, candies, and snacks when they are being paraded in front of me all day long!!! But I managed to stay away. I admit the nauseus feeling helps a lot with curbing my appetite. I just try to remind myself that it IS worth it in the long run, just take baby steps.

[Cescalis]

Wow that's a lot of weight you lost already. That's awesom. I guess that show you have a lot of determination than you think you do.

[cincy_girl]

You have done wonderfully already! And anyone who can give up holiday treats shoved in your face is a VERY strong person - I'm sure you can reach your mini goal by New Years!

Good Luck, and keep up the wonderful progress!

What a motivation you are!

[GIGI25]

I love your name. I laugh out loud whenever I see it on these boards. Great movie. Now I want to watch it again this weekend.

Sounds like we have pretty similar weight loss goals. I'm 5'7", I started SB a little over a month ago at 164lbs. My goal is 135lbs. The first week is the roughest, but of course you already know that. At least you know what to expect this time around. Good luck to you!

[Tits McGee]

Thanks for your support, everyone! I was having a weak moment. I weighed myself this morning, down to 163! So close to my mini goal. I think I can make it for sure to 160 by New Years. Brian (boyfriend) has invited me to go to his country club's holiday function. That adds a bit of stress because I am not comfortable in this crowd. My mom was a waitress and my dad a construction worker. I am proud of my parents, but wasn't raised in the country club set. After dating for 5 months, I have found that in general the people are very nice, but more superficial than I like. It is all about clothes and cars and vacations... which I don't have a lot of experience in. I just graduated college, I am broke! Hehe. I feel that that is a little extra incentive to stay on track because I need to buy a new outfit to go out in. It would be nice to buy things in a smaller size! ALthough I have noticed that if I could fit into anything at Old Navy (before they had plus sizes) it was usually an XXXL. Now I am able to wear a large or XL! I was in a size 18 pants, now I fit comfortably in a 14. I just need to remind myself from time to time that change is possible!

[Tits McGee]

I am so thrilled! I went shopping for winter/Christmas clothes yesterday, and I found that I could fit into all of the cute "normal" sized clothes! I even bought a pair of size 11 jeans, and had to put back a size 13 because they were too big! I am so happy. I know the number is just an arbitrary thing, but to not shop in the plus sizes means a lot to me. I used to dread shopping because I am young and I want to wear younger styles, and there is a limited availability in plus sizes. Oh, and I love love love gauchos!!! I feel so stylish and hip now! I know I don't look really really different from last July or so, but I know changes are happening!
I am really thankful for the increased self-esteem that I feel. My boyfriend asked me what my goal weight was, and I said about 140 lbs, but that if I didn't lose any more weight I would be fine with my body the way it is. I have said that before, but I really feel like I mean it now!

[Tits McGee]

Yay! I made my mini goal of 160! I gave myself until New Years, but I guess I will have to start a new mini goal! I think I would like 155 lbs by New Years. I am not regretting my decision to jump to P2 at all. I feel much better and I have more energy. I think I will go back to P1 after Christmas, because I am going to eat and drink the general holiday treats with no regrets. I am not going to pig out totally, mind you, everything in moderation. I can't believe I only have 18 lbs to go! It seems so attainable! I am so happy. I catch myself working it when I walk!

[Tits McGee]

I got a call from my OBGYN two days ago. My pap results came up abnormal and there is the possiblity of pre-cancerous cervical cells. I am so stressed out that I haven't been able to eat much, although I try. Yesterday I managed to choke down about 1/2 cup yogurt and some cucumber for breakfast, and I had a bowl of chili for lunch. For dinner I ate a tiny bit of chicken and a little spinich, but it made me feel sick. My boyfriend is so worried about me it is almost cute. I have additional testing this afternoon, and he offered to come with me for support. I am so lucky to have him! I felt badly last night because he roasted a chicken and sauteed spinich for dinner because it was SBD friendly, just for me, and then I couldn't eat hardly anything. After dinner I proceeded to compulsively clean everything in sight. I even color co-ordinated his towel closet. How stressed am I? I have to get a colposcopy today. If anyone has had one, I would appreciate knowing what to expect!!!

[twinmom Pamela]

//

[Tits McGee]

Thanks Pamela! Yeah, I had a laparoscoy in 2001. Wasn't that bad. I am nervous about today, though! Thank you for your prayers!

[Tits McGee]

Ugh, after making a record weight loss in the first two weeks, the holiday season got to me and I started eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I am back at sqaure one. I am also really hypersensitive about my weight etc. because my boyfriend's really good friend (a girl who is 5 ft tall and about 105 lbs) is in town for the holidays and has invited Brian out for New Years. They never seriously dated, but I know they have messed around and whatnot over the years. This girl is soooo snotty and superficial. A total spoiled, rich brat. I saw pics from last New Years Eve which they spent together, and there are numerous pics of her hanging all over Brian and kissing him, etc... If she thinks that is happening this year, she has another thing coming!!!!!!!! I know he used to like her a lot, but she just jerked him around emotionally. She still likes to tug his strings every now and then and I think it is just cruel. I know they have been friends for a long time and I don't want to impede on their friendship, but I do not want to spend New Years with this girl and her friend (also 5 ft tall and 105 lbs... they make me ill!) I feel like a giant next to these girls. All they do is get totally wasted and make out together for attention. THey are retarded. I am going to tell Brian that I want to do something else for New Years... I don't care if this girl has reservations at some hip club or not. We hung out once together and I had no fun because she is such a snot. Yes, I am a little jealous of her, but plain and simple she is not a very nice person and I don't want to be around her. I feel like I am insane! I wish I would have held out on SBD so I would keep losing weight. I want to start over again today, but I feel like it is too late. I have Christmas parties to go to all weekend, and I know I will eat junk no matter what. Grrrrrr. I can't stand this girl!!!!!!!!!!!

[Tits McGee]

1/2 cucumber, slice of cheese, piece of roast beef
4 pot stickers
sweet and sour chicken, fried rice
2 sugar cookies
3 pieces of chocolate candy
eggnog

If you can't tell, I am stressed out and emotional right now!!! I really need to rededicate myself to SBD. This is so horrible for my health! I am so insecure about Brian's friend coming to town that it is wreaking havoc on my eating. So stupid of me. She probably hasn't even had one thought about me since I met her, and here I am going into a tailspin over one measley visit. I am ridiculous. This is retarded. I need to calm the hell down.

[Tits McGee]

Well, the Christmas season was incredibly fun, but I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Disaster! I am back up to 164.5 lbs unfortunately, but I am starting Phase 1 again today. I know I will lose a lot in the next two weeks, so I am not too discouraged. Eating crap made me feel horrible, so I am looking forward to pumping my belly full of wholesome, delicious foods. My boyfriend is as skinny as a rail, but he is behind me 100% and even bought SBD friendly foods for me yesterday! He is such a sweetheart. I am ready to lose weight! I don't have far to go, so I just need to keep myself pumped. Here is my meal plan for the day:

B- Cottage cheese and tomatoes, tea
S- Colby jack cheese and cukes
L- SBD chili, cukes
S- Turkey, tomatoes
D- either stir fry or more chili
Dessert- Sugar free jello

Looks yummy so far... I hope that by eating a lot of dairy and beans I can curb the SBD flu. I was miserable last time!! I can't wait for the challenge to start January 9th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!