LJ's Long and Winding Road to Healthy Eating

[ljmusicmom]

I am a creature of habit.

It is in attempting to restructure these habits that I am discovering just HOW habit-bound I truly am. Yesterday was a case in point. I got out of my new habit of exercising first thing in the morning after staying up 'til the wee hours. This led to me deciding to follow my desires for some yummy pancakes (whole-grain and beach-friendly though they were) for breakfast rather than just hitting the basement and getting the workout done. THIS then led to me putting it off all day while working around the house and choosing, as was my old habit, to graze all day on carb-laden stuff. Nothing too bad at first - SB-friendly cereal, then Kashi granola bars, then MORE cereal with milk, then the pancakes left over from the morning ... you get the idea. I really needed someone to call me and say, "Hey! Let's get together at the park," or some other such intervention. What I had was me, home alone with the kids, in the midst of an old-habits-die-hard binge. Add onto that the return of the "well, I've gone this far" mindset and you can imagine how the evening went.

But here's the really great thing - I got up this morning and went down to the basement. I did my 55 minute workout and drank a lot of water. I got myself (and the kids) ready and we got to church on time. After church we went out for lunch at our favorite Chinese buffet. I did NOT fill my plate with every fried, sauce-dripping thing I could find. In fact, I didn't find much to eat - I ended up with a chicken/broccoli thing, some cucumbers from the salad bar and part of a baked sweet potato. I then went to the grill part and filled a bowl with mixed veggies and a little beef, which they then cooked for me (they use water, not oil). Drank some Diet Coke.

AND THAT WAS IT! Not even a fortune cookie!

I'm thankful for this day, for the beautiful sunshine and lack of snow. I'm grateful that every day is a chance to pick myself up and start over again. This is the first time I've attempted to do this while publicly discussing my triumphs and failures, so it's pretty scary - I'm waiting for the flamethrowers to come out, for people to drop by just to inform me of how weak I am, how clearly NOT dedicated I am, etc. Well, I'm here to tell you - I came back. I didn't give myself the whole weekend to continue and plan a fresh start Monday. I didn't post on the boards, seeking absolution. I'm back to keep trying to retrain my brain and body to do something new. And while I'm sure this won't be the last time I make hideously bad choices, I can work to make it happen less and less, to seek other choices, and most importantly, to keep coming back, not to give up when I screw up.

This is a big part of my overall life philosophy, too - that each day, heck, each MINUTE can be a do-over ... that I can start over, make a better choice in how I treat people, deal with situations, etc. Life seems to keep throwing me lessons to learn, and hopefully each day I get a little closer to being the kind of person I want to be someday.

Okay, enough with the philosophizing. I know where I went wrong, I know what I'll do next time, and I'm moving forward. Here's hoping you all (my dear, beloved peeps) had a better Saturday than I did.

Enjoy the rest of the weekend!

[LegalBeagle]

Hey, you are making a proverbial mountain out of a molehill, sister! There is not one person on this board who has not made a bad choice at one time or another. As you said, the important thing is that you realize your mistake, and you are taking positive steps forward. It's OK. We understand. We love you anyway! Hugs.

[Auntdelite]

Hey Laura ~ Ditto what Brooke said. Last time I checked, we're all human and we're all going to eat something off-plan once and awhile. It's called life. There's always going to be something. Move on.

Hope you have a wonderful Sunday!

[ljmusicmom]

Thanks, LB and Dev! I really went back and forth over whether to post that or not, but it's out there now.

It was a LOT of food.

But - some more positives:

I did NOT buy any Girl Scout cookies, though the evil munchkins are swarming in front of every business in town ...

I did NOT bake/make any goodies for myself

I did NOT hit all the bakeries in town, though they were open

I did NOT get one of those cinnamon thingies from McDonald's

Really, with a few exceptions, I ate mostly beach-friendly foods - just in copious amounts. Like, enough for several people. Like, a week's worth of grain servings, or at least several days' worth.

Anyway, you're sweet. I'm not beating myself up. I'm just making better choices today.

[LegalBeagle]

P. S. I really like the do over philosophy, and what you said about always having a new chance to do better and be nicer, etc. Cool way to think about things!

[ljmusicmom]

I try - doesn't always work. But then I try again. And again.

[GoingToMakeIt]

Yay for better choices!

I've had to refocus a couple of times myself this week. Just get back on track the next meal.

You are fabulous!

[Wally]

I'm thankful for this day, for the beautiful sunshine and lack of snow.

Could we say this 3 more times and click our heels???

Good thoughts here, I needed that. Hope you had a super weekend!

[ljmusicmom]

Good evening!

And it IS a good evening. I spent the day doing some serious work around here - actually tipped the dryer and cleaned all the lint out of it, as well as the duct leading out of the house. I also went through ALL the laundry ... ended up throwing out about 3 kitchen bags' worth of stuff that had gotten ruined due to a water leak - yuck! Nothing like the smell of mildew, not to mention the truly awful, um, stuff that had grown on and around the stuff. I did some major disinfecting, bleaching and overall organizing, so now the hills of laundry are all color coordinated, too.

Food for the day's been good ... I grilled brats and hot dogs, and discovered that the bakery at the store does their own WW hot dog buns - joy! Also, Ball Park makes a fat-free hot dog that's all beef and only has 40 calories. It was yummy! Also, I mixed my vegetarian baked beans with some black and pinto beans to cut the suagr level, and thoroughly enjoyed them - made it really seem like a picnic! Oh, and asparagus on the grill is a lovely thing as well.

I'm off to get everything ready for the morning, trying to set myself up for success. Busy week, lots happening, so the more organized I can be (or at least give the appearance of being), the better!

B/L - chicken and broccoli, cucumber, green beans, beef, sweet potato, onion, mushrooms, green pepper

S - 2 slices turkey, cheese stick, 1/2 cucumber w/onion dip

D - FF hot dog on WW bun w/low carb ketchup; grilled asparagus, baked beans

S - yogurt w/strawberries; 1 Wasa cracker w/RF cheddar

Thanks, everyone, for the support and encouragement ... I know you understand, and I'm glad I can put my thoughts down and not get blasted out of the water for it! Now, if it were to become a habit, I'd hope and EXPECT that you would totally boot my butt to get me back on track, but I don't think that's the case.

Hope you all had a good weekend! Sweet dreams, peeps!

[amyjoy]

Believe me, I will totally kick your tushy like you've done to me twice now to get you back on track. Glad you had a good day and hope you have a nice one tomorrow!

[anneg1116]

Morning!

There are flamethrowers here who will say you are not dedicated? If there are I will kick there ass(es)!! You are just like the rest of us - maybe a blip here and there but you do pick yourself up and continue on with the good stuff.

Hope you have great day today.

[LegalBeagle]

OMG the laundry thing sounds horrid! I am so glad you got it all fixed.

Have a great day today!

[ljmusicmom]

Sad fact of having a basement in Michigan - no matter what you do, it's going to be damp, and in an old house like mine (built in 1938), you're guaranteed a lot of moisture. I have dehumidifiers running 24/7 (they get full about every other day, and they're the BIG ones!), but it's been so long since I actually got the floor totally cleared that I didn't realize the clothes on the bottom had gotten wet at some point. So very, VERY icky. Luckily, I'll touch anything so long as I have my surgeon-type latex gloves on, so it's all taken care of now.

We won't even discuss the local bug life that enjoys damp basements ...

Was running late this morning, but still did a good 30-minute workout ... will do some ab stuff later, or maybe more cardio - don't know! Busy day with school, then a viola lesson with DS#1, then quick dinner, then off to a baseball parent meeting, then home to get kids in bed and get ready for tomorrow. Oh, and exercise some more!

Have a great day, all!

[Wally]

Wally - I'm so sorry if that sounded brutally snippy and rule-bound ... I most assuredly didn't mean it that way! I truly wanted to know your "I've never" thing was, so was asking.

Believe me, you did not come across snippy at all. No worries!! I try to use the emoticans to let people know I didn't take it harshly. You are absolutely right that it is hard to figure a tone on the internet, but you come across quite nice and easy to get along with Have a great day!!

[ljmusicmom]

Thanks ... I'm not looking to make any enemies! I really enjoy those silly game threads - it's the one hobby I have time for these days, so I don't wish to alienate any players. Glad you weren't offended!