The Kitchen Goddess Conquers... Herself!

[futballuvr73]

I thought I'd give this journaling a try!
As a kid, I could eat ANYTHING and not gain a pound. Of course, I was a tomboy, so maybe I just burned it all off! In high school, my freshman year I began to get scared I would get fat like most of my family members, so I started to "diet". By the time I graduated, I had progressed to full blown anorexia and bulimia. I remember vividly going an entire week eating only one plum. Yes, I said ONE. I would take a bite in the morning and then wrap it up and put it back in the fridge. How did I ever survive? The only time I ever ate right was my junior year when I was pregnant. I awakened pregnant after passing out after a party... Nice, eh? Needless to say, while gestating, I did eat well. I had a beautiful healthy girl, whom I gave up for adoption. After she was born... Well, I can say I looked REALLY GOOD in about a month.
After graduation, I took a month-long exchange trip to France. I stayed with a family that didn't go to restaurants- ever! SOOOOOOOOOO... I learned to cook from the best! I discovered I had a talent for the kitchen, and I am truly passionate about cooking. I will sit and read a cookbook like most women read romance novels. I plan my menus a month in advance, so I know we will have variety.
Over the years, I went from 105 pounds at graduation to 270 3 years ago. When I was pregnant with my 6 year old son, I gained only 6 pounds- love that morning, noon, and night sickness. I then got to 270 when he was 2. Then I was diagnosed with PCOS. What fun! I began excersizing almost nightly and lost 25 pounds. By January 2005, I had ballooned back to 265. Watching what I ate and counting calories, I dropped to 240 by May. I ended up with 10 of those pounds back by the end of the year.
Thanks to anyone who may still be reading this. I know it's long, but it all means very much to me.
I started South Beach Phase 1 January 2, 2006 weighing 250. As of Jan. 21st, I had lost 10 pounds. I plan to continue Phase 1 thru the end of the month. I noticed after the second week when I added wine back to my dinner that I doubled the 5 I had lost in the first 2 weeks. Hmmmmm...

My goals are simple:
I want to be healthy and able to take long bike rides with my family.
Short-term weight-loss goal- 235 by February 1st.
Next goal (with a friend!)- 230 by Valentine's Day
Mid-range goal- 200 by June 1st
Long-term goal- 160 pounds

[Azella]

you doubled the 5 which way? gaining it back or making it go away? I havn't added any wine back in ... wish for that smirnoff though i do. hehe. anyways a very good luck to you. I wish you the best as it seems you've had a tough time of it in the past. I too was once bulimic/anorexic and its seems that ever since then i couldn't figure out how to eat right. This diet changes everything i've ever thought about dieting. I can actually eat! I hope it changes your life for the better. just stick with it and never give up. It's like dying your hair, once you start .. you may falter for a few months or so but unless you want neopoloton locks your stuck for life ^^

[futballuvr73]

Thanks for the support!
I had lost 5 pounds the first two weeks total, but then another 5 after adding the wine. A glass or two with dinner (and then SLOWLY sipped after) must be a good thing!

[futballuvr73]

Finally got my ticker worked out!

[futballuvr73]

So pround of myself! Took my son to Golden Corral for breakfast this morning and ate only the scrambled eggs and steak with shrooms and peppers! We all know how insanely great their hashbrown casserole is. Well, I walked right past it and didn"t even give it a second look!
I don't know how close I'll be to my month-end goal on Wednesday morning. It's that TOM . Oh well, I will be happy if I have stayed at 240!
Bought some new shoes this morning (so I can start excersizing!) and decided to try on a shirt or two. I found a really cute one at JCP that I wanted. It's a tailored-look, and I didn't get it. I was between the 3X and 2X! Yay!!

[futballuvr73]

Another victory!
I made french toast for the fam this morning, with whole grain bread no less. I almost had some- figured whole grain and I'm 4 weeks in. But I didn't! Had a better breakfast. Made scrambled eggs (yep, getting tired of those ) and canadian bacon. Then I made that mock hollandaise in the SBD book. YUMMY! It was even better than eggs benedict with the english muffin. Good thing the sauce goes a long way. I have plenty left for tomorrow!
Went a little overboard with the wine last night. Oh well...

[futballuvr73]

For anyone interested, the mock hollandaise does NOT reheat very well. you have to stir it every few seconds to keep it from curdling (which only changes the look, not taste).
I made a really great ham and bean soup yesterday. my pintos weren't cooking very well in the crockpot, so I mashed what I could and mixed it with some beef broth (double-strength) and added some chopped ham. YUMMY! Made enough to freeze several containers and VERY filling!
Had the family fav chicken w/ shrooms for dinner last night. Red wine, chicken thighs (very well trimmed), shrooms, beef broth, parmesan, and thyme. It doesn't get any better. I did miss the rice bed a tiny bit , but had 1/2# brussels sprouts instead. Get the leftovers for lunch today...
My DH has had a cold for the past few days, so you can imagine what my house has been like. Our son worships the ground he walks on, so he's also been moping around b/c Daddy can't play with him. They had planned to work out in the workshop all weekend. Sometimes it makes me sad that he doesn't want to be with me like that, sometimes . Then I think about the fact that I was there all of the time since birth, staying home. It makes perfect sense that he would want to spend every waking moment with Daddy, he only sees him for 2 hours a night and on the weekends. DH runs 8 restaurants in four cities around here, so he's extremely busy!
Better get ready for the new day. Forgot a load of laundry yesterday, so I need to get it going.
Oh, I joined the Feb. KISS Challenge. I am hoping it keeps me motivated when I start excersizing in a few days! Need all the help I can get!

[futballuvr73]

Did really well today. Especially considering I have had a headache for most of the day.
Ate my eggs benedict for breakfast. one thigh and 10 sprouts from last night for lunch, and beef, mushroom, and onion stew for dinner. I did have a mini BabyBel cheese and SF orange jello w/Cool Whip Free for snacks. Lots of water...
Starting P2 Wednesday. A bit nervous, but ready for oatmeal and apples again! Will weigh that morning- delaying b/c of the period!

[futballuvr73]

Hmmm...
Two straight days with a headache. Both coming after a night of sleeping so soundly I didn't even move. Maybe I'll skip the sleeping pill tonight?
Been really good today. Had my canadian bacon & scrambled eggs with the hollandaise for breakfast. Got around to lunch and had no idea what to eat. Ended up thawing the last container of pintos and pork carnitas. Had 1 1/2 cups with ff sour cream, salsa, and lf pepperjack. Very tasty! For dinner we're having green beans, thin sliced roast beef with "gravy" (more like au jus), and I'm having some cauliflower too.
I know I really suck at getting my 4 cups of veg a day, but I do make sure I get at least 2 cups with dinner. I can only eat so many salads! I will probably have some broccoli with spicy 3 pepper hummus for my snack tonight. I love veggies, but still...
Tomorrow morning is weigh-in. Not sure if I'm scared or what. Don't think I lost the 5 I was hoping for, but with it being that TOM I'll be happy with whatever it says- as long as there's no gain
Took my first bike ride in MANY months today. Only road to a friend's house and back 2 hours later. It was only four blocks and my legs were sssooooooo rubbery when we got home. I never have figured out the gears on that thing, so I'm either spinning my legs too much or working too hard to spin them. Either way, I'm moving!
Better finish dinner!

[futballuvr73]

YAY!!!!
I made my goal for January! I was 235 this morning.
Can't wait to reward myself with half an apple and NPB!

[futballuvr73]

Had my last breakfast of eggs for a few days this morning! I love them but man, that's A LOT of eggs! I tried the other stuff on the recipes board, but nothing tasted right to me.
The store had beautiful tilapia filets when I was there this morning. Got a package and sauteed one for lunch w/ some EVOO, gahhhlic, and s & p. YUMMY! Steamed some broccoli and (yay!) carrots to go with it, about 2-3 cups worth. Really great lunch.
Having the Baked Sesame Chicken from the SBD cookbook for dinner tonight. Haven't decided if I'm going to have rice with it or not. I will probably make a sauce to dip it in, maybe a modified asian brown sauce? I'm making broccoli again for dinner, much to DH's chagrine!
As for snacks today: I will have that half an apple with 2 tbsp NPB for this afternoon. Can't decide if I want more Jello tonight (wish they made that pina colada one in SF!) or if I'll make pudding.
Chatted with my friend DD in Germany this afternoon. She's not done with the book yet, but sure sounds like she'll be jumping on the bus to the Beach soon. She did Atkins for awhile last year, lost, then gained it back. She is still having to tell herself she won't be counting carbs, and not believing it! Her hubby will possibly try this too, which will make it easier for her. Wish mine would do that! He's just happy P1 is over. I hope she gets going here on this site, she's signed up on another. If she comes over here, she can join me in challenges! She's more motivated to excersize than I am, so she'd probably kick my butt!
Anyway, enough rambling. Not sure anybody reads this anyway!
Looking forward to 230! Can't wait for the K.I.S.S Challenge to start!

[Consuela Bananahammock]

Congratulations! That's awesome.

That's awesome that you're doing the bike thing. My BF was a competitive cyclist in high school so he was really into it and once in college he asked me to go riding with him. Oh man, it was awful. I had to pretend to be dehydrated because I couldn't keep up. But he used to ride for like 3 hours every day. Bike riding was so easy when I was a kid! What happened?

[futballuvr73]

I know! I grew up living 5 miles out of town and during the day while my parents worked the ONLY way to go anywhere was to ride. I used to ride into town everyday! Now it kills me to go 10 blocks. Of course, back then I was 13 and not a huge momma!
Funny, I was JUST reading YOUR journal!!!

[futballuvr73]

I decided to have the rice with dinner last night, just a half cup. That paired with the chicken (which really wasn't great, the breading all fell off) and 2 cups of sugar snap peas. I ate all of the peas, but left a lot of the chicken and rice.
I made two kinds of pudding last night. I had found at my grandparent's house this summer all her Grandma's Tupperware parfiat and sundae cups, so I brought them home. No wonder she had so many, they are wonderful! I have been making Jello parfaits in them already, so I used the sundae cups for the pudding. I put a layer of Chocolate Fudge on the bottom and them topped it with Cheesecake. Made 7 cups (instead of 8, two boxes worth), each being about 38 calories. Oh boy was it good!
This morning, I made the steel-cut oats I bought yesterday. They were okay, but I think I prefer regular old-fashioned oats. Maybe I was just not ready for the texture difference? They tasted good, I added Sweet-N-Low Brown and cinnamon to the H2O.
When I pick my son up from school at lunch (he only goes half-days here) we are going to Pizza Hut for lunch. He has a Book-It coupon that expires in 2 days, so we're going to use it. I will eat tons of salad and MAYBE a top of pizza.
Tonight, we're having something from Rachel Ray's Get Real Meals cookbook, her lower-carb one. We're having the Shrimp & Pork Meatballs with Cilantro Lime Dipping sauce and egg drop soup!!!
Better get moving for the day. Story Time in an hour!

[futballuvr73]

Yesterday really sucked.
I did take Sam to Pizza Hut for lunch, and they did make a thin crust Veggie pizza for the buffet b/c I asked them to. It nearly killed me to take that first bite! I had a huge portion of the salad first tho
After that, we went to visit a friend. By the time we left her house at 4:30, I had a migraine coming on. Still had to make dinner though. Took some meds and hoped for the best...
After dinner (the meatballs were okay, probably won't make them again w/o tweaking the recipe), I had to go lay down. My head was exploding. It didn't help, but the cup of Blueberry Tea an hour later did- a little. I forced a snack of 1/2 an asian pear and some NPB. My stomach was not happy. Doped myself up with pain meds, and I went to sleep.
So, today has to be better, right? Well, we have to do a three-day pre-weigh-in for the K.I.S.S. challenge and it started this morning. I was up 3 pounds from Wednesday! I know it will fluctuate daily, but give me a break!!!
Someone, anyone, PLEASE send me some good vibes!