WOW...2 Months down and half way there!!!

[futurethinmama]

JeffH. Glad to see you are back on the boards...hope your trip was fun. Family time is so important and you sound like a really great dad. I am so glad you chose to home school your daughter. If my 7 yr.old did not have such a horrible time with concentration and focus I would do the same. For us at this point public school is working for him. I do however admire those who are willing and able to take that road! Thank you for your prayers and I have not heard anything yet. I am assuming the CBC (from past experience) may take a few days...although I know that the Sed Rate they did only takes an hour. I bet my Doc is gonna wait til she has all her "ducks" in a row before she calls Yeah the hair thing is crazy huh? Whenever the baby was 3-4 months old my hair fell out in CLUMPS...the scariest thing in the world. I was told it was due to surgery and hormones, but it showed 3 months later. It is finally growing back and looks silly around my hairline. My hair is long, but now I have these "spikes" everywhere. Oh well! Again thanks for the input.

Sachinda A "liveit" I love that! Thanks so much for stopping by my journal. I really do miss having a house, and told my 7 yr old today that when our lease is up we are moving into one. I just divorced and decided an apartment would be "easier" as far as maintaining a yard etc. but we have missed a lot being here. I want him to be able to ride his bike without having to pack it up and travel to the lake My kids are my life (as u can probably tell) and I really just wanna do "right" by them. Yes, this has now transitioned into a way of life for me. I do not even think about grabbing the crackers or having chips anymore. Matter of fact I just had some diet pop and a cheese stick for my computer "snack" Suited me just fine. Hmm about the noises, yes one night he came to my room...just as it started and I told him they were wrestling...it works for now the worst is he asked why I did not sound like that when we played wrestling LOL! Apartments are good for some, just not for us. Hope you have a great day! Reace


No word from the doctor yet. Scarey thing is that I have had so many young people in my family die from Leukemia that things like this are a bit more intense for me. Our pediatrician is amazing I am so blessed to have her. I will update later for now I wait! Reace

[futurethinmama]

Man last night was the hardest yet when it comes to following SBD. I have not heard from my son dr. and I cannot decide if I was hungry or anxious or just had cravings in general. I thought I did a lot of damage...I basically had something in my mouth throughout the evening. I tallied up my "calories" and see that I still only consumed 1200-1300 calories. I also exercised so I think I will be ok. I did have two grains (rolled oats and a ww tortilla) and that was the first time I incorporated oats so I am wondering if that caused the sweet tooth? I doubt it, bet it was just nerves. I did call to see about possibly starting some anxiety medicine. I hate taking pills, have always hated it and take nothing but vitamins now...I think it is becasue I have seen so many people abuse or depend on the pills. I really wish I could control this anxiety without pills, but I have so so very much on my plate right now I feel like my heart will pound out of my chest and head will explode if I try to continue on this way. It has now started affecting my sleep or lack there of...and I am starting to fidget and shake. I am not sure why I am sharing this, I just really need to vent right now.
Got an appt. next week, hopefully I do not shake myself to death by then! I did have too many "sweet" things last night. I did not grab a twinkie but had jello and cool whip (lots of cool whip) a fudgcicle hmmm...not as bad as I thought but still over 75 cals. Plus I had several bites of my sons bean burrito...made with WW tort. but real refried beans I just had the urge to eat something BAD but did not allow myself to go all out. I have to go the boys are stuck behind the couch I also thin kI broke my toe last night on the weight bench! Talk soon

[Sachinda]

I hope you've heard from your son's Dr. by the time you read this. Also, I totally hear what you're saying about taking pills, but aye you need to to avoid developing further into something like panic attacks, it would scare your kids so much to see that!! Since you're already worried about relying on them, you probably won't take the pills unless you really need it and you may just keep yourself in check.

I had a surgery and was so afraid I would get addicted to the pain pills, particularly b/c I locked myself out of the self-medicating stuff during the hospital stay b/c I would push the button all the time!! Anyway, I was so afraid I'm become hooked, that I ended up taking only a few of the strong ones and then took non-addictive pain killers instead.

About your craving, it could have been the oats. I found that the time of day I ate oatmeal totally mattered for me. I was having them in the morning and I was like a raging crave maniac (like pre-SB).

[Jeff H.]

JeffH. Glad to see you are back on the boards...hope your trip was fun. Family time is so important and you sound like a really great dad. Thank you for your prayers and I have not heard anything yet. I am assuming the CBC (from past experience) may take a few days...

Hi Reace, yes our trip was fun. I like to think I'm a good Dad but the pic here of my daughter coming to hurt me may say other wise. Not sure what I said but I probably deserved the pounding she is about to give me.


Hope all turns well with your son. Waiting has to be the hardest part of being a parent. I know I could hardly eat when we went through our medical situations with DD.

[lawn_gnome78]

Reace,
I think you did very well the other day when you were so stressed! Imagine how you would have eaten a few months ago... now don't you feel better? LOL!
Well, I wish I had some answer about being calm and de-stressed without pills. I'd think more exercise would help with that, but what do I know? Just hang in there, you'll make it to next week.
Sorry about your toe! Get it checked out if it's not feeling better soon.

[futurethinmama]

MY SON IS FINE Happy tears happy tears!!! I got a call from my nirse and his blood work came back ok, gheesh it has been an incredibly long day. I am so thankful that he is fine doc says just growing pains and the swelling should go away on its own. Thank you all for your knid words and prayers I love it when God listens. I know he hears all, just smometimes my plans get in the way of what he is trying to do... not a good thing

I had a beachy day, did not even have a sweet treat today. I am also blowing my own mind. I just enrolled in and paid for a CNA class that starts Monday night...I have no idea what the heck I am doing! It must be some kind of early mid-life crisis thing Oh well in three months I will be a CNA. I am also still enrolled in two college courses that I will start in october. Wonder how thats gonna work out? Two fast paced last eight week classes and evening classes for CNA plus clinicals. It can be done. I can do this. I will be ok. Now if I keep repeating that long enough do you think it will come true??????

Jeff Your daughter is a cutie, I also vistied your journal and your wife is very pretty too. You are a blessed man, and from what I can tell your are a great dad, I am sure she only wants to pounch on ya for kicks

Hey LAWNY you are right about the exercise. I have been walking 3 miles every other night and then doing the "Body for Life" weight lifting at home the other three nights. I do feel a little better and hope that I will only have to take the anxiety medicine for full blown attacks like I have been having this past week. We will see? I am just so relieved that my son is ok I instantly felt a release in my chest. How are you doing? I really need to check those journals more often!

My menu for today:
B-2 eggs 2 pcs canadian bacon and v-8
S-nsa raspberry yogurt (so very good) coffee w/30 cals of sf creamer
L- 1/2 WW pita w/mayo. baby spinach and roast beef deli meat
S-2 crab sticks 1 c. uncle sams w/1 c. lf soy
D-Steak sliced on baby spinach w/1 TB ranch sprinkled w/lf cheese
hot caramel chai tea w/soy and splenda
66 oz. of water (go me!)
that seems like a lot to me? anyone else have some input? I am off I have a big day tomorrow good night Reace

[Jeff H.]

MY SON IS FINE Happy tears happy tears!!! I got a call from my nirse and his blood work came back ok, gheesh it has been an incredibly long day. I am so thankful that he is fine doc says just growing pains and the swelling should go away on its own. Thank you all for your knid words and prayers I love it when God listens. I know he hears all, just smometimes my plans get in the way of what he is trying to do... not a good thing

Reace, it's so good to hear that your son is ok. Now the big question is...did you have any apettite during this waiting period. I never felt like eating during these times.

[futurethinmama]

JeffH. LOVE your Yoda avatar. I am so computer illiterate...I have tried to upload avatars to no avail. I have even tried posting pictures from my computer to this forum and nothing...oh well. I wish I had the "cannot eat under stress" factor...but no I am quite opposite. I am a stress eater from way way back. My mom told me that when I was little and something would go wrong I would head straight to the kitchen. Same thing now . Only now I fill up on salad and shrimps vs. ice cream and chips !

Not much happened today, except me withdrawing from the CNA class...What was I thinking? I am going to school right now to be an ultrasound tech. (sonographer) and just got impatient. I hate being broke, single and in school. It is worth it though...I will make "decent" money once I graduate. Not the big bucks but I can work daytime hours and be home with my kids at night, I just have to do this THREE more years. In the grand scheme of things thats not so long right?
Todays menu:
B-2 eggs V-8 2 pcs can. bacon
S-Lite Yogurt hot tea w/ splenda and 1/3 c. light soy
L-1/2 WW pita spinach deli RB w/1 TB mayo
S-Shrimp cocktail (used 2 tsp. canola butter w/cracked pepper to dip)
D- YUMMY artichoke ckn breast w/eggplant parm.
I have had 40 oz. of water and will drink another bottle b-4 bed. Maybe a fudgcicle dessert or some more hot tea ???

I had to keep my oldest home from school again, he has fever and a sore throat. Hopefully he will get well over the weekend and I pray the baby does not get sick he has a heart condition and any illness puts him in the hospital We see the cardiologist in about 10 days. Hopefully he is getting better! Well gotta go clean up the kitchen. I don't mind the cooking its the cleaning afterwards that I could do without! Have a good night Reace

[Jeff H.]

JeffH. LOVE your Yoda avatar. I am so computer illiterate...I have tried to upload avatars to no avail. I have even tried posting pictures from my computer to this forum and nothing...oh well.

The avatar is pretty easy, go find one you like. Do a right click, save image as (remember where you save it to) go to profile and click upload avatar from your machine and then use browse to get image you just saved. It looks the image is then sent to the forum file section somehow.

For posting your pics, use http://www.flickr.com/ to upload pics and then you can put in url to link to, that's the easiest.

http://photobucket.com/login.php let's you upload pics there and then under each pic they give you some choices. I used that site to put DD's pic in previous site. They give a line that looks like this http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a205/ ... 140042.jpg only it has img before and at the end of it. This puts the pic in your post. Clear as mud right???

Not much happened today, except me withdrawing from the CNA class...What was I thinking? I am going to school right now to be an ultrasound tech. (sonographer) and just got impatient. I hate being broke, single and in school. It is worth it though...I will make "decent" money once I graduate. Not the big bucks but I can work daytime hours and be home with my kids at night, I just have to do this THREE more years. In the grand scheme of things thats not so long right?

Was that Certified Network weenie? Quite a few of my accounts are at local hospitals. The x-ray techs usually make good money, CNA's have a hard time starting out because most companies want experience.

[futurethinmama]

Lets see if this works! If it does there should be two pictures here
Ok I did like JeffH suggested and shrunk 'em down hopefully I am not so BIG now LOL

[futurethinmama]

Thanks JeffH. Ummm now if I can just figure out why we are so big????? I do not have a gap in my teeth and my nose looks so large. This picture is kinda distorted I will have to work on it. At least you can all get a feel for who you are chatting with Shooweee got to change a stinker I will be back later. Reace

[Jeff H.]

Lets see if this works! If it does there should be two pictures here

Yep, 2 pics. Now go back to photobucket, edit pics and shrink them to like 25%. That way they fit in screen.

[futurethinmama]

Yeah finally, thanks for your help JeffH. i am not puter savvy at all I am off to find an avatar. I will load some more pictures tonight after the babies go to sleep. I cannot figure out why that picture looks so strange? Anyway, I need to start dinner and am kind of boared with chicken and salad, guess I will go check out the "archives" of the recipe forum

[Jeff H.]

Yeah finally, thanks for your help JeffH. i am not puter savvy at all I am off to find an avatar.

Glad to help out, nice pics. Also good to see what another person look like. Now you are going to have to post a before and during.

[futurethinmama]

The picture of me and my son in blue is actually last year and I was about 3-4 months pregnant...hence the "hide behind the kid" act. I am about the same weight now though. The before pictures are SCAREY especially the 274 pounders...I look at those occasionally and do not recognize myself I will download some tonight, if for nothing more then my own "look how far you have come" type thing. The picture of the baby was just about a month ago, he had just mastered sitting Gosh I love those little turds! I am making a flourintine scramble thingy I got off the recipe forum and it smells so delish. We are off to walk the lake. I will post my menu tonight, Me