Ky's Korner

[Kyan]

Man I love you people!!!

You are the most entertaining crowd to ever grace the Beach!! (At least in my experience!) I LOVE my Beach Biddies!...buddies. BUDDIES!

Sharley - I knew you were playing around! I just wanted to type "wyfe" like Mike always does! lol

Bethy - you are so lucky you can't smell the dog tonight! Why is it that dogs have to stink like that?? And when you shampoo them they smell like a weird scented soapy "Air Wick" over dog stink!

I make really terrible Black Bean Brownies - so dry it's like scooping a handful of sand from the Beach and trying to choke it down! Today they said that if you don't rinse the black beans and you dump it black goop and all into your mix it is moister. Have you ever seen the slime from a can of Black Beans? Gross! Everybody was all excited and wanted the recipe, but I think the speaker forgot to give it to anyone. I told everyone how to make Kale chips, though!

Hey - speaking of cucumbers.... today we had guacamole mixed with sunflower seeds on top of cucumber rounds! VERY GOOD! The cukes weren't cut like flowers though, so now I feel cheated.

Tomorrow - personal trainer tries to kill me and then it's Mirror Mirror with daughter and her hubby. This means oranges and chocolate... so if you smell oranges, you know it's me! Everyone in the theater is going to smell my citrus treat and be JEALOUS!!! They will wish they had MY snack instead of their popcorn and Twizzlers and peanut M&Ms and Coke Icees! ::::cries:::: Life is so unfair sometimes. Why can't we eat whatever we want and still be thin?

[bethy]

quote Why can't we eat whatever we want and still be thin? quote
We CAN! We can be heroin addicts! They never eat anything but the 7/11 diet and just LOOK at them! Did you get any SPOONS at the seminar? Mike's going to have needles soon, so there's that taken care of. I have a bunch of cute and colorful therapy bands that will be ultra chic for tying off with and some Really old hoodies with stains we can share while we build up our street cred. I have an Aim N Flame I light my snobby candles with. And your pink knife and cutting board might be important, or is that cocaine?
Anyway, we can do it. You can have mr. pibb icees and rhode island danishes and I can have crab chips and cheezits and maltesers again! If Mikey will go buy the heroin, he can have six krispy kreme donuts. Or if wyfe won't let him we'll ask your ex.

[bethy]

Was it a south beach diet cooking seminar or do normal people eat black bean brownies and kale chips too?
Because I didn't know that.
Black slime is way hipper than pink slime.
And why did they give you all those gadgets?
Was it like Beauty Bonus week at Williams-Sonoma or something?

[Kyan]

Anyway, we can do it. You can have mr. pibb icees and rhode island danishes and I can have crab chips and cheezits and maltesers again! If Mikey will go buy the heroin, he can have six krispy kreme donuts. Or if wyfe won't let him we'll ask your ex.

Ask my ex? You can squeeze his fat little turnip throat and you won't get any blood! No point in asking any spouses or ex-spouses, either.

I thought about the heroin diet and although it sounds workable, I am going to do the Coke diet like that Australian woman. She drank 2 gallons of Coke a day and I figure she must have been pretty thin cuz her husband said other than her Coke habit she only smoked 30 cigarettes a day and didn't eat any food! Unfortunately the price of being thin and Coke sloshed was pretty high. It's a shame because I think I would LOVE the Coke diet!! So on second thought - no heroin diet and no Coke - either bubbly OR up the nose.

I really miss Mr. Pibb/Dr. Pepper. (Either works.)

Speaking of Krispy Kreme donuts... did I tell you that there is a Krispy Kreme donuts just 8 blocks north of my house? It's nestled in between the Chipotle and an Olive Garden and OMG it smells awesome when you drive through the parking lot! I think they deliberately waft the smell out through the vents so that everyone driving by will drool and go through the drive-thru and buy a dozen. Glazed does nothing for me, but give me a chocolate sprinkle and some ice cold milk.....

I'm going to re-name this journal my "Food Fantasy Escape". If I can't eat the junk I can blather about it in my journal....

[Kyan]

Was it a south beach diet cooking seminar or do normal people eat black bean brownies and kale chips too?
Because I didn't know that.
Black slime is way hipper than pink slime.
And why did they give you all those gadgets?
Was it like Beauty Bonus week at Williams-Sonoma or something?

What is pink slime? Puked Pepto-Bismol? Spam?

A South Beach Diet Cooking seminar would be FUN! No, this was just a seminar on cooking healthy foods and it was given by people who are doing their internship as dieticians. Ooo I spelled that wrong. They need a spell check on this forum! I donut know why they gave out goodies, but I'm glad they did! They said we could take home the leftover food, too - but everyone swarmed up there and took the good stuff and all that was left was broccoli with huge stems attached so I passed on that. I guess I could have cut the honkers off, but broccoli and I only have a so-so relationship as it is.

[Kyan]

You know, I was just looking at my avatar... no WONDER I felt my gut on my thighs. Did you get a gander at the size of my UDDER?

[bethy]

New Zealand. I couldn't hardly focus on the coke part, I got hung up on 8 kids at 30.
Pink slime is ammoniated meat something. It's in grocery store ground beef, or it was until people found out about it. I dunno WHAT they're going to do with it now. Might put it in kidney beans
You! put me off broccoli for weeks. We don't grow it in Georgia so I had NO IDEA about the worms.(Did I tell you this already? I'm getting a deja vue feeling)
I picture them like fly larvae, only fatter.
Ky. I have personally twirled the stools at one of the first Krispy Kremes in the country since I was FOUR. I am the "Al Gore: I Invented the internet" of Krispy Kreme expertise. And CHOCOLATE COVERED WITH SPRINKLES DON'T ENTER INTO IT. You might as well go to Peter Luger's and order the chicken.

I might make a whole other journal "The Lecture Chronicles", where I explain the right way to do everything.
Right now I'm going to eat two squares of Lindt chocolate and try not to get it on anything.
HOLY COW this here candy bar doesn't have squares! it just has four horizontal lines. It's perfect! You have to see one. Get a Lindt Passion bar in a brown package. See? There's a topic for the Lecture Chronicles already! "How chocolate bars should be divided in the first place."

[Chris55]

It doesn't matter how chocolate bars are divided because I will keep cracking off pieces and eating them anyway. The only chocolate I allow myself is Dove individually wrapped ones with the silly messages inside. They need to have messages saying things like, "OK, this is your third one. Put the bag away and go to bed".

[bethy]

I didn't know they had Messages. But those Dove packages make it look a lot like you're buying chocolate. I like my skinny flat chocolate bars cause they're so subtle in the grocery buggy, like they might just be a post card.

[Kyan]

It doesn't matter how chocolate bars are divided because I will keep cracking off pieces and eating them anyway. The only chocolate I allow myself is Dove individually wrapped ones with the silly messages inside. They need to have messages saying things like, "OK, this is your third one. Put the bag away and go to bed".

HA! Like THAT will happen! I'm surprised they don't say sappy stuff like "Go ahead... indulge. You deserve another one!" You KNOW they want you to eat the entire bag in one sitting!

As for Lindt chocolate bars.. they are SOO good! I think they have one of the best dark chocolate bars! Although I do like having squares to break off.

As for YOU, Ms. Donut snob Bethy - don't even TRY to tell me that glazed are the best donuts. My fingers are in my ears and I am singing "Roll out the barrel (and we'll have a barrel of fun!) at the top of my lungs and I can't hear you. Glazed suck. It's like scooping spoonfuls of sugar out of the canister and noshing it down! So you may have suckled at the breast of Krispy Kreme in your infancy.... but surely you will suggest something better than glazed!! Maple? Yes, I will accept that. Even the pudding filled chocolate ones. (NOT the ones filled with the lard and sugar mixture they call "cream filled".) OOOOOo... pumpkin spice donuts! Now THOSE were good! Only seasonal though.

My scale was up a bit, but I am contemplating visiting the bathroom with a magazine... so that could go down. It's amazing how much old food weighs. ha ha ha

[bethy]

Jane, you ignorant slut.

[Kyan]

<snort>

There is no reasoning with a glazed fool. Some people just have no taste buds.

Update on my scale: yes, I lost a half pound. All is well in weightland! And my scale lives to see another day.

[SBMike]

Glazed suck. It's like scooping spoonfuls of sugar out of the canister and noshing it down! So you may have suckled at the breast of Krispy Kreme in your infancy.... but surely you will suggest something better than glazed!! Maple? Yes, I will accept that.

Now wait one !@# &^% minute, there. You can insult my faith, my politics, my wardrobe, and my music. You can sneer at my jokes, my family, my accent, and my pathetic bank balance. And you can guffaw at my car, my career, my sports loyalties, and my bellybuttfat. But I have to draw a line at absurd comments about KK glazed. If the goddess made anything better in the entire world she kept it for herself. Maple is for catching flies. Chocolate with sprinkles is for kids' birthdays. And cake doughnuts like Dunkin Donuts (they can't even spell it right) are bird food. But KK glazed are a sacrament and I will not sit hear and listen to your blasphemy and let it go unchallenged.

I am hungry all the sudden.

[SharleyBloom]

Wow, Mike got all worked up. You could almost call that exercise.

[bethy]

(Oh, Brad) Now we're engaged and I'm so glad (Oh, Brad)