Hay. (amusing, what I did there)
Just dropped by to drop off your 2L.
And introduce myself.
My name is Bethy. I have P1 insomnia. So I've been reading your journal and now bird are chirping. I'm up to the part they put the squeeze on (
the red boobs mash. OW! Not sposed to make breakfast patties out of those). Way to make it a page turner. You can't have cancer and die because then I'd have to pick up the snack slack and *14* cups of perfectly cooked and seasoned parmesan popcorn would be too much to balance on even my well-adapted midsection and still be able to see my book.
Here's a true story about me. I went off the beach once. Accident: I was index-fingering the last of the parmesan out from between a few unpopped kernels in the bottom my bowl one thursday night (Not sure exactly when but Derek and Meredith were already married on the post-it). And I got to thinking about South Beach and junk food so I googled around and found an interview with Dr. A. where he actually rated junk foods from Bad (potato chips #5) to You're Going Straight to Hell (pretzels #1).
Like anyone in their right mind would be,what with Dr. A's personal blessing AND having just moved into the special part of the United States where Utz's Crab Chips are available AND not having had any for eons: I was psyched. I sprauled up off my towel, waded right out and got me some. I kept wading and snacking on spicy five-level-less-evil-than-pretzels chips *For Free* because they were buy one get one free at the Grand Opening of the new Giant grocery. Crab chips make your fingertips orange. so I paddled out a little deeper, to wash it off. Out where I could see the container ships heading out to sea in long lines. Big red boxes stacked all over them. White letters. that said CHEEZIT. It was just like Jaws. dun dun dun. AND she's gone. I tried to turn back to shore. Undertow, rut-roh. I swam parallel to shore for days. Then weeks. (resolution, rationalization, portioning, craving, caving, repeat) I drifted. My clothes started shrinking from the...salt water. I was lost at sea tossed helplessly among the waves and craves,when out of Nowhere
I felt this tight feeling on the front of my ribs where that empty space was supposed to be for the bottom of my bra to sit comfortably and not be squeezing the life out of me like that. It must have been a rope because it Jerked me back onto the beach where I lived, hopefully everafter and crab-free.
Gotta go see if you pass your mammogram. Good Luck! Thanks for the reading material and the bean smash patties! Don't fall too hard for Mr. Pibb, he's got a bad reputation!
If I can't have too many truffles, I'll do without truffles. ~Colette