Christin's Journey to the Beach

[ladybugmom]

Thanks Amalfi and Lakegran!

Yesterday was wonderful. I decided to keep as much momentum as possible going from my decision, so I made pizza. So good! I found a recipe for socca, made one big piece on a cookie sheet, and topped it with loads of veggies, some cheese. Finishing it off under the broiler toasted the cheese rather nicely and caramelized the veg a bit. I had no idea how filling the socca crust would be! I was stuffed after just a nice serving and had no want or need to go find a dessert item, or keep munching on more pizza. Due to the fact that it is made out of a flour, not something to make constantly, but I think we could easily have pizza night about twice a month.

I was out of town most of yesterday, but I was a good girl and packed my lunch and snacks, but no household chores really got attended to. So my house feels like it is stacked to the ceiling. My oldest invited a friend over to play after school yesterday, it is amazing how she didn't think I needed to be in on that first . So being the mean, cruel, evil mom that I am, I rescheduled for Friday so I could have a chance to talk to the girls parents first and catch up on my chores and she can clean her room. It never ceases to amaze me how messy the house gets when I take a single day off!

Today should be a fairly quiet day. I will clean, exercise, and try to make the time to indulge in some cross stitch. Just figures that my hobby is a quiet, sit down activity in a crazy house! Today will be great, maybe even better than yesterday.

[grace2]

hey Christin,

I just want to say "thanks" for your posts! Your reflections on the way you have viewed rice have gotten me thinking. For too long, I have been all about what "looks good" rather than really caring about my health. It's taken me places like Weight Watchers and Body for Life, but not anything that addressed the sweets I relied on to keep me going. And that helped increase my BMI, cholesterol, stress, etc. Thanks for the inspiration

lauren

[ladybugmom]

Thank you Grace. It means a lot to me that putting myself out there was able to help one person.

I feel pregnant again! Not in the way that sounds though! When I was expecting my youngest, I drove my hubby nuts. I wanted fajitas on a daily basis. Specifically the onion, pepper, and tomato veggie blend in the fajitas. I have made chicken fajita bowls 2 days in a row because I have been craving the veggie blend. And I could very happily eat that today as it still sounds really good. So much for not getting into a food rut!

I haven't quite made it two weeks into P2 yet, but, I realized I wanted oatmeal yesterday. And not in the, I am willing knock people over to get it kind of way. It was a quiet sounds good but if I don't have it I will live way. So I sprinkled some over my new favorite afternoon snack, plain yogurt with a little bit of jell-o mix for flavor and blueberries. Absolutely wonderful. Nor am I craving anything horrible this morning. So I think I am transitioning properly this time, yay!

So today, we have a repairman coming who will track mud into the house, oh joy! Plus there is a play-date after school. So I will bake cookies for the kids, oatmeal raisin. Then I can take leftovers and share them with family so no overt temptation sticking around the house. At least that is the plan. I do not plan to exercise today. I will be very busy and I believe exercise should be an outlet, not an added stress. Today it would be an added stress to my morning before the repairman arrives.

Today will be great, even better than yesterday.

[ladybugmom]

It's Saturday! We have tickets to a baseball game today. I enjoy going to an occasional game, but I do not like watching a game on TV, just not the same. But, there is the dreaded stadium food to contend with. So, I had some leftover Italian chili from last night for breakfast as that is more filling than my standard, I will have my yogurt and blueberries for a morning snack, I will bring my salad with me to eat in the parking lot for lunch before the game starts, and I will bring an afternoon snack with me. I am figuring on baking a batch of socca as it will satisfy the feeling of having chips or something and I will pack some raw veg to munch on as well. Then, gasp, Hubby and I get to go out to eat just the two of us! That is rare. But the kids are all revved up to spend a few hours with my folks and ditch mom and dad.

See, that is one really big positive of being a Celiac! All I have to do is tell the bag checker at the gate that I had to bring gluten free snacks with me. No fuss and no, you can't bring food with you. They do tend to be very kind and lenient toward people with food restrictions. Mostly because there are no gluten free concession stands within the stadium. You have to aim for prepackaged items that are definitely okay and not contaminated. Not something I want to eat right now, I want to feel good and feel good about the choices I am making.

For our dinner, Hubby and I found a Mexican restaurant to hit after the game. We ended up getting a neat package deal- tickets, parking pass, and a gift card to a restaurant of your choice off a list. We chose Mexican as you can have fajitas with black beans and no tortillas or some really flavorful salads. Just a number of good options that will allow us to stay fairly beachy with lots of flavor. Plus the other restaurant that was within a decent distance, and ha GF options, was a pizza place. Has great GF pizza, but, very difficult to stay where we want to be beach wise at a pizza joint!

So, plan in place. Should feel satisfied walking into the stadium. Will have good alternatives to bad stadium food on hand. Plus, a dinner date with choices available that we can feel positive about. Today will be great, maybe even better than yesterday.

[ladybugmom]

Oh the best laid plans! The game was fantastic. We were up on our feet cheering quite a bit, it was sunny and warm, just perfect. We munched on yogurt and blueberries, peanuts, a little socca, and raw veggies-broccoli, cauliflower, and a few baby carrots. We also demolished several bottles of water while we were there, no soda or lemonade. Then we walked the full circumference of the stadium to stretch out before getting back into the car.

Then it went down hill. Our gift card that came with the package, once you chose a restaurant, was only valid at that one place. Turns out it was a little hole in the wall with not so great food. No vegetables on the menu at all. How can you run a restaurant with no veggies!?!?!? We each ate a small portion of our meal, avoided the refried beans-no black beans on the menu, and avoided the rice on the plate as well. Did not take any leftovers home at all. Felt bloated and icky when we left. Ate some oatmeal with a little milk when we got home, and fortunately settled everything down. So at least we did not get food poisoning along with our crappy meal. Never, never, never will we go back there again! My absolute favorite thing about Mexican food are the flavorful veggies that seem to be such a part of the cuisine. Okay, ranting and raving, but seriously! How can a place like that even stay open and why on earth is it on the list as part of the stadium package??? Okay, stopping, deep breath in and out, letting go.

Today is supposed to be warmer than yesterday, with thunderstorms and high winds. Bad day to take children to the park or for a walk, but I will get my work out in, go to the store and stock up on more veggies. Today will be great, even better than yesterday.

[ladybugmom]

Well, my kids caused a commotion at the check out line. But as every one in line turned to stare at them, it wasn't from being bratty asking for candy or throwing a fit. It was from them being so excited because I was buying brussel sprouts and broccoli. The look on people's faces as my girls were all jazzed up about two of their favorite veggies being in the cart and asking could I please, please, please cook them for dinner when we got home, I had to work very hard not to laugh. Though, to be fair, I have never really gone for the check out candy. If my girls are really good at the grocery store, they get a cheese stick.

I had a rule when they were babies. No making icky faces about any food. Babies are so responsive to our moods, tones, and facial expressions that I did not want to bias them against any food. So veggies were dished out with the same excitement and anticipation as a fruit. As they have obviously gotten past that point, the new rule is you have to try it at least once. You cannot claim to not like something if you have never tried it. Me personally, I don't like cucumbers, nasty things. My youngest thinks they have a neat flavor and will pick them off of my salad when we are out. I think that is wonderful. But then again, I like bell peppers, every color, and my youngest thinks the green ones were put on this earth just to annoy her.

Last night, as apparently, according to my girls, I was trying to starve them to death, I started talking to them about vacation and asking what kind of food they wanted to bring. I was hoping to distract them while I finished dinner. The thunderstorms did not hit until late evening, so after they cleaned their rooms and the play room, out the door they went. Even with an afternoon snack, dinner could not get done fast enough, plus, I was making brussel sprouts which made them even more impatient! So of course, with the camping food, I get told they want to roast marshmallows and hot dogs. That is a given when you have a camp fire. Then they start listing every thing else, I was so proud of them for their list. Strawberries, grapes, bananas, oatmeal, milk, and any veggie they can skewer and roast over the fire. That is about as far as the made it on food. They were trying to draw a checklist as they made requests, then couldn't remember what the pictures stood for. It passed the time well.

There are times I worry about their health and future weight. When I could eat whatever I wanted and had no restrictions, I was overweight in high school. I took a nutrition course and made a life change then. By Junior year, I was around 135 and healthy. After high school, I was at 125. I felt good and ate a balanced diet. I suppose I have this niggling fear in the back of my mind that even though my girls are happy, healthy, eat their rainbows, and are at an ideal weight for their size and ages, that my food issues will come around to bite them. I wonder as I work to regulate rice out of my diet and am leaving it in theirs, am I helping or harming? Of course, I have done the neurotic parent thing, and talked to the family doctor about this. There is nothing wrong about giving then that little grain, they are good to go. I suppose part of it is what I see in my hubby.

I love the man dearly, but he has an almost unreasonable fear of water. It was taught to him by his mother. She fears the water even more so than him and all through his childhood, her behavior towards it, how she reacted, how she talked about it, all affected him to the point of ridiculous. Now, that said, I have a great deal of respect for my MIL. She is a strong woman and has dealt with a lot in her life. But, the way she taught him to fear something, that is the power of a parent. We have the ability to install attitudes, positive or negative, and a certain way of thinking. I am hoping that the display of public affection towards brussel sprouts is an indicator that we are installing a positive attitude.

Okay, rambling, again! Food has been very good. I am very pleased at how easily everything is going. It is an automatic now to reach for something good. I am still having a balanced breakfast- I am a chronic meal skipper, still making my main meal at midday, eating 2-3 sensible snacks, and having a salad or veggie stir fry at night. Last time around I complained that my body hated me. If I don't eat a vegetarian dinner most nights, I cannot let go of weight. This time around, I have to say, my body doesn't hate me. In fact, it is kind of awesome. If I eat well, and give my body what it wants, it will reward me by giving up the excess weight. Pretty cool reward system. Today will be great, even better than yesterday.

[lakegran2]

You are just awesome girl..............

[ladybugmom]

Thanks Lakegran!!! I really needed a boost this morning!

You know how schools are always passing around a bug? The current one only lasts for a few days, sore throat, fever, cough, that sort of thing. Guess what I came down with yesterday? My oldest has a slight cough, but that was as far as it went with her. Not me, got the whole enchilada. So I decided to treat myself. I put chicken into the crockpot with all the standard veggies and am making chicken soup, completely from scratch, with chick peas instead of those dreaded rice noodles. Because grandmothers all over the world can't be wrong, chicken soup just makes you feel better. So today, my plan is really simple. I am going to drink lots and lots of water, have my veggie quiche with V8 for breakfast, eat my soup for lunch, veggie salad for dinner, and maybe read for a little while. Snacks will be simple, jell-o, broth, yogurt, milk, just simple foods that are soothing on the throat. I have a few activities for little mite so she doesn't get too bored.

I am just drained and icky feeling. So, while my usual thought process to try to make every day better than the last doesn't quite fit today, today will be great. It will be because my food thought wasn't to immediately reach for the rice stuff, like noodles and toast. It sounds good, but in an abstract way. My chicken and chick pea soup sounds better. And that, to me, makes today a great day.

[amalfi_girl]

Congrats Christin! What an awesome way to look at things! Your attitude is so admirable.

Chicken and chick pea soup sounds awesome, I'll have to play with that soon. My favorite sick soup alternates between egg drop soup and split pea soup. Split pea is so easy to make, and I love it so much, I don't know why I don't make it more often!

[ladybugmom]

Split pea soup huh? Do you know I have never tried it. Now you've done it, I have to get a recipe now and give it a whirl!

Still have a scratchy throat, but not as drained, so feeling quite a bit better than yesterday. My fever broke late afternoon, which turned out to be a good thing. Since my oldest has to take her lunch to school everyday, it does not make sense to buy the little carton of milk on a daily basis. 50 cents for a little half cup carton! So she has a metal thermos designed to keep liquid cold for 12 hours. The lid cracked and broke. No more thermos. We had to head to the store after school and pick a new one up. While we were there, saw the most beautiful strawberries, and they were on sale. Isn't there a rule somewhere that you have to buy fresh, ripe strawberries when they are on sale?

But that led me to the thought that strawberry shortcake sounded awfully good. Which did not lead to the thought of--Oh no! I am on a diet!! It led to the thought of if I can make snickerdoodle muffins, surely the same recipe, maybe with a little yogurt and vanilla would make a vanilla cupcake. So I had strawberry shortcake last night and it tasted wonderful. Hubby came home, took a deep breath, and asked if I had gone off the reservation because it smelled like cake!

But I came to a sudden realization yesterday evening. When I originally started on the SBD, I did not have dessert very often. A fudgescicle has never felt like a real dessert to me. I thought the ricotta cremes looked gross, for lack of a better term, never mind making something out of beans. I did not keep jell-o on hand or yogurt. I was on a diet, not really SB. Then, I would make what I considered to be a real treat, like PB cookies. I would have to eat at least 6. There is something really wrong about that. And thought of making strawberry shortcake just because it sounded good? No way, no how! Which led to a deprivation and binge cycle.

I wasn't thinking about a diet, I wasn't thinking about the scale, I wasn't thinking about how is this going to look. One of the many keys to success is substitution not deprivation. Somehow, somewhere along the line, I have made the switch from deprivation to substitution, I did not know, did not occur to me, it is just there. But it feels great!

Plus, today is one full month in. I have made it to my first mini goal. I feel so good about this. I am still caught up in the whirlwind of initial happiness. I have expanded my borders this last month, tried bean based baked goods, found a new pizza crust that will work for the rest of my life, made the switch from 2% milk to 1%, figured out a way to enjoy plain yogurt-something I have tried in the past and couldn't stand, tried over 20 new recipes all over the course of this past month, and I took assorted veggies to a baseball game and did not care when a few people commented on it and snickered!!! So today is not going to be great. Today is going to rock and leave yesterday in its dust!

[grace2]

Hey Christin,

I love reading your posts They are so newsy and full of life. Congrats on meeting your first mini-goal: one month - woohoo!!! Hope everyone at your house is feeling way better and has a good rest of the week. Your dessert ideas sound yummy....

Catch you soon!
Lauren

[ladybugmom]

Good morning Lauren! Thank you for stopping by! I am so excited to be one month in and so happy about it!



Okay, here goes, my hubby read my journal, and it was really quite nice. He was able to get my take on things and understand how I feel about this whole journey in a way he couldn't before. Then I realized that I wanted to talk out something that is bothering me but didn't want to hurt his feelings if he swings back by. So I ranted about it a bit in another discussion I am participating in, but didn't want to take the space up really talk it out. So honey, if you decided to read this, I am waving the white flag now!!!

I have hit a point in my life where the scale is nice, but not all encompassing. This is the first month that I have been on the beach, but untroubled by my extreme weight gain while on my cycle. That is saying something because I go up 5-10 pounds once a month, every month, for at least a week sometimes two. But is is okay. I am eating well and not cleaning the world's chocolate supply out. I am sort of exercising, I am a strange person, I throw up when I try to exercise during that time, always have since the first. But I do go for walks, only thing my body will handle. But back on subject, I like where I am right now.

Hubby is at a point in his life where the scale dictates how well he is doing. I am so proud of him for all of the progress he has made, but he isn't. The first week, he lost 8 pounds and in each of the following weeks he has lost 2-3 pounds for a total of 15 pounds in 4 weeks. That is an average of just about half a pound a day, go him! At least that is what I think. But he is weighing in the morning on day, then weighing in the evening on another after eating dinner and having a big glass of water, things like that, and getting rather upset about gaining weight back and he is convinced that he is in a stall as he has only, yes to him only, lost 7 pounds over the course of weeks 2-4. We have had talks about the scale weighing everything- you, your clothes, the glass of water you had 5 minutes ago- but it doesn't help for more than a few days.

I was and am happy that I suddenly realized that I am in a different place. Making vanilla cupcakes, it wasn't just about finding a diet friendly dessert. I am trying to replace as many rice based product as possible with a tasty substitute, a sustainable alternative to last a lifetime. But when he got home, it was an automatic question of regular or diet cupcakes? He was happy they were diet friendly, but he seemed to consider them diet food. It feels like he is just patting me on the head right, doing the smile and nod thing.

The only problem is, I am not. My dad had a 5 way bypass, he almost died, and according to his doctor, it was all genetics. Crappy genes that came from his father and his before that nearly killed him. My Celiac is genetic, guess where it came from? My grandfather on my father's side. I cannot afford to smile and nod and more than that, I don't want to. I want to be around for my great-grandbabies, not 6 feet under when my babies are just barely into adulthood.

I love my husband. He is my person and the only one for me. But right now, I don't know whether to growl and pull my hair out, hit the floor laughing, or just feel sad that he can't share this journey with me on the same level. Sorry, I am sulking and moping about on my journal today, bad, bad, bad. But this has been bothering me for several days. I have noticed more of a want for junk food to make it all better. But that solves nothing, nothing at all. I am better than that, worth more. So I am talking it out and finding a happy place for this. I can only hope that in the years down the road, while trucking along in P3, that the shift will happen for him along the way. We may not be starting the journey in the same place, but I want to end up on the same road with him. Okay, I feel lighter about that now. I think I have finally settled that in my mind to be able to let go instead of brooding. Sorry for a ho-hum start there, but on to happier things.

It was beautiful yesterday. So after school I took the kids and the dog on a 2 mile walk. For such a short walk it took about an hour. I am still leash training the dog. In her defense though, the kids dress her up in doll clothes and she patiently waits, sitting perfectly still as to not disturb the crown on her head, sometimes for a full hour. Just an awesome dog. She was a rescue and her previous family did not take her out and about, just had her cooped up in an apartment. At almost 50 pounds, she is a little big for an apartment. But it felt so good to be out in the sunshine and the warm breeze. Plus the furnace is off, has been for a little while now. No heaters running either. Can't wait to see the electric bill, should be so much better. Hopefully it will be low enough we can indulge in some extra veggies from the produce section. Some of the prices at the supermarket have been ridiculous. It is $2 per bell pepper right now!

I want to buy a few blueberry bushes. I planted strawberries last year, which survived the winter and sent off a few baby plants!! But some variety would be nice. My favorite traveling nursery is working on getting set up in town. So I will have to go and get tomato plants, sweet potatoes, and some summer squashes. It would probably be cheaper to buy seeds and do it that way, but I have this skill. I can plant 10 packets of seeds and not get a single plant out of the deal. Like I said, it is a skill!!

I am also about ready to head out to my grandmother's acreage. I have probably a full acre of weeds, brush, and fallen limbs to clear for her in the next few weeks. I am looking forward to it. Great exercise, lots of sunshine, and instant gratification when you finish clearing an area. Hopefully I can get started this weekend. And hopefully someone other than me will come out and tune up her mower, can't do it, don't get it. While I use an old-fashioned push mower for my yard, hers is just way too big for that. It takes 3 hours to mow her yard with a riding mower.

But, I can see the pale blush of the sun just starting to rise out my window. Quiet time is over. Time for the rush of getting ready for school. Today will be great, even better than yesterday.

[graffitigarden]

Christin, I just read through your whole journal, and I am so amazed by you. Here I am, struggling to keep on the Beach myself, when I have nobody else to cook for and no other obligations except for my job. I cannot imagine how people do it when they are caring for children, and I certainly cannot imagine doing it with all the other pressures you have to deal with!

I felt so sad for you after reading the post about your disappointing dinner at the nasty Mexican restaurant. You had seemed to be looking forward to it so much, and that is just the worst feeling when some treat you were excited about turns out so wrong.

Congratulations on sticking to it this time and your improving relationship with food.

[ladybugmom]

Good morning Graffiti Garden! You are doing really well yourself! I suppose I do not even think about having to cook for others, it is just automatic. Now cleaning up after other, that chafes!

It is 50 and breezy right now, but it is supposed to get all the way up to 75 today and 90 tomorrow. Yay, sun, windows open, fresh air!! Some one catch me, I just may swoon from the excitement! I am really, really, really ready for sunshine and warm air.

Today, we will have a play date after school. I love the fact that since the bulk of our home construction is complete, my girls can invite a friend over. I still get a little self conscious about the state of our house, no trim so some raw edges on floors and walls, no window treatments up yet, no furniture in the bedrooms just a bed and dresser in each room, but what really gets me, is no storage yet. My pantry and pots and pans are all out in the open on two work bench style tables. And every surface looks cluttered as no shelves or cabinets. But the floors are clean and mopped, the counter is scrubbed, and the bathroom is all clean. My home is cluttered, but clean. That is how I handle the mess.

The schools in our area are not the best. With extreme budget cuts, several schools closing, and over 30 students to teacher ratios, it all adds up to no good. So, we decided to cut our household budget down to the bone and invest in a local private school. It is expensive, but my daughter's class only has 15 students including her. She gets to go to church once a week and they pray before lunch. Parent-teacher conference are opened with prayer and I have the teacher's cell phone number, so if I have a concern, I can call here directly and discuss it. Plus, when she was having penmanship problems, they brought an aide in to work with her directly to solve the problem and help her work through it! So it is so worth it to not have storage yet, and not have trim yet, and be on a tight budget.

At least now that we are not using every spare penny on supplies for the upstairs, it does give us a little breathing room. Plus, having insulated walls and ceilings instead of just studs makes a huge difference in our utilities. I can afford to buy fresh veggies and fruits. I don't feel guilty now eating 6 times a day as that is more expensive. I was back in the habit of having leftovers from dinner for brunch the next day and then eating dinner that night. Twice a day, no snacks, less money out of the budget spent on me. That is an attitude that I really have had to work hard on getting rid of. That is not a healthy eating pattern, and half of each meal was rice to make it more filling. But, I have not done that since restarting SB.

I also feel really good about camping this year. We will have more control over our food as we will not be driving all of the time. I am already planning with my husband what we will eat, how we will store it, and how to cook it. And when he suggested we have brunch on the last day I said no to the strict theory of that. I CANNOT go back to that, brunch is very, very, very bad. Another gateway thing for me. So on that last day, I will have a snack, then a meal, then a snack, then a meal. Just will switch the order, but no skipping for me, no way. I am worth eating well, I will not skip meals again. Gets me into way too much trouble. Wow, I am so bad about rambling on and on. Done now! Today will be great, even better than yesterday!

[grace2]

Love your newsy post, Christin! That is wonderful that your daughter the opportunity for private school with teachers who pray. What a blessing!