arugula_salad's journal

[arugula_salad]

I can't believe I've made it one week (if I make it through today, that is...)!

Last night I ended up overeating the turkey meat sauce. I recall that last time I did SB I was over-eating on "legal" things and it still doesn't feel good. I didn't have enough to eat for actual dinner, and so went back for more as I was cleaning up. But... I think it's actually good to keep up the eating, in a way, so that my metabolism stays the same. The kale chips came out great, and I also had salad with avocado (finally ripe after sitting in a paper bag for a few days). After dinner I felt a little like: it's crazy that it's okay to eat ricotta cheese with artificial sweetener but not a healthy and natural orange or apple? But, went for the ricotta anyway.

Tonight we are probably going to a neighbor's house for "pizza & playing," and I hope I can avoid eating the pizza. I think I will be able to (it's usually just the kids who sit down to eat), and maybe have a small glass of wine. It also means I won't have dinner until later at home. Hmm.

I woke up in time to exercise, but just couldn't get out of bed.

Here's today's food (eaten up through lunch), Day 7, Ph1:
B: Israeli salad (lf cottage cheese, red cabbage, cucumber, tomatoes), coffee w/ 1% milk. Need to buy more tomatoes... worth the expense even if not in season.
S: Low-fat jarlsberg cheese, raw veggies, nonfat latte (with a little bit o' sugar)
L: Salad with tuna & avocado (and red pepper and jicama). Yum - am not getting sick of salads for lunch.
S: 15 almonds
D: Tomato sauce with turkey again? With salad?

Victories: Resisted (leftover) donuts in the office kitchen (had to remind myself I don't really like donuts), down 0.2 lbs on the scale this morning, and most importantly: eating really healthily for a week! No treats... that's unbelievable!

Tonight I'm going to make a chicken marinade.

-arugula

[arugula_salad]

Am I thin yet?? C'mon, I've been eating so healthily for a whole week! Weight-wise, I'm back to where I was at the beginning of January. Not thin, but better than continuing as I was.

Last night I resisted the pizza (not too hard), and had a small glass of red wine. Dinner was kinda ad-hoc; I finished the turkey meat sauce and had some lf jarlsberg cheese. I snacked on some raw veggies as I was cutting them up for today. I made the roasted chick peas, but didn't eat any last night.

Today, Thursday, Day 8, Ph1:
B: Two veggie quiche cups, salsa, coffee with milk, 1/2tsp sugar, and splenda.
S: More coffee w/ milk & sweetener, 15 almonds, a few raw veggies
L: Salad with tuna and feta (and red pepper and jicama). YUM. More raw veggies (sorta inbetween lunch and snack).
S: Nf plain yogurt w/ sweetener
D: Chicken breasts (marinating now) with onions, steamed brocolli, smashed cauliflower w/ lf cheddar

-arugula

[arugula_salad]

I'm having a hard time. Yesterday (Friday) I was hungry all day, and was dismayed in the morning that the scale showed a pound increase, even though I had been eating "on plan." I think it might have something to do with time of month, but it's not PMS, it's pre-ovulation! It's like I get to have PMS twice a month. Lucky me. Anyway, was doing fine yesterday until after dinner when I couldn't resist something I had made for my kids. I also had too much red wine. Thus, I am feeling even yuckier this morning, and the scale is the same. I will try to power through and then really know if the weight thing is real or not. However, this morning I had an apple (thinking I could transition into Phase 2, many rationales) and then I think the coffee place messed up my latte and gave me a regular instead of nonfat -- it just tasted so good and creamy. Well, nothing I can do about that.

Here's my food journal...
Yesterday, Friday, Day 9, Ph1... falling off plan
B: Israeli salad (lf cottage cheese, cabbage, tomato, cucumber), coffee w/ milk & sweetener
S: raw veggies, almonds
L: turkey-cheese-lettuce wrap (w/ lf jarlsberg)
S: raw veggies, hummus
D: chicken, broccoli, salad, red wine
S: nf ricotta w/ sweetener
....and: baked french toast (basically bread pudding).

Exercise: 45 minute walk

Today, Saturday, Day 10, Ph. 1.25 (as of 11am, with planned out food for the rest of the day)
B: apple & cottage cheese, coffee w/ milk & sweetener
S: Two veggie quiche cups, latte w/ sugar & sweetener
L: salad w/ beans & other veggies
S: almonds, raw veggies
D: [Maybe at a restaurant... probably fish or meat with salad]

Exercise: Circuit gym

Feeling less hungry and like I can carry on with Phase 1 now.

-arugula

[arugula_salad]

Weekend was a big disaster, food-wise. I think I was frustrated at being hungry all day on Friday. But on Sat & Sun I wasn't hungry, I was annoyed, tired, angry, resentful (like, where is my treat!!??). I know that food doesn't directly solve these problems, but it sort of does indirectly. I can focus on how "badly" I'm eating and how I can never stick to a "diet" (I know, I know) instead of what other things I may be feeling. I have two young girls, 3yo and 4.5, and it's so hard sometimes. And they are generally good kids! I think about some of the other folks on these boards who have much more difficult lives and feel like a wimp. Then I think, whiningly, but why can't I have a piece of chocolate?? WHY!!!?? Such a small thing to brighten my day. But, then, really does it brighten my day? Sometimes, but more often it cycles into overload and NOT feeling good. Meanwhile, it's 12:49pm and I've eaten everything I brought to work to eat today.

Maybe more later.

[ladybugmom]

Hey Arugula!

Good for you for recognizing that it that the food treat mentality, scratch that, always, causes more harm than good. But I know what you mean when you just want a treat. It was getting really bad for me, I felt like a sugar fiend the first few days. Now I am having my main meal at lunch, some ff cottage cheese with sweetener and cinnamon for an afternoon snack, then my loaded veggie salad for dinner. Just playing around with when I ate my food diminished the sweet cravings and some excessive snacking. And i know what you mean with the kids. My girls are 7 and 4, and yesterday, I swear they were just trying to see who could scream the loudest! Just trying to keep in mind, that the better I feel, the easier it will be to handle the grumpy, cooped up days with my monkeys. Hope today is a walk on the beach for you!

Christin

[arugula_salad]

So, I'm thinking about just moving on to Phase 2, but I don't know exactly what that means for me. It seems like it's just the way I used to eat, but without all the treats. And with portion control. Is that what South Beach is? And am I able to do that, or will I just fall back into my old ways? I love fruit, but haven't missed it too much b/c I've been eating lots of sweet veggies like jicama, red/orange/yellow peppers, and sugar snap peas. I would like to have whole wheat bread and brown rice, so I guess I just have to watch my portions.

I have been struggling, and not eating totally on-plan.

Today's food (more or less):
B: Two veggie quiche cups, salsa, coffee w/ milk, sugar, sweetener
S: More coffee w/ milk, sugar, sweetener, raw veggies, walnuts
L: Salad w/ leftover pork, little bit kidney beans, & veggies
S1: Lf jarlsberg, more raw veggies
S2: Ff plain yogurt w/ sweetener
D: Chicken, kale & collards, cauliflower if it's done on time.

Exercise: Circuit gym (yay! I got up & out & did it!)

-arugula

[ladybugmom]

Hey, don't give up or settle. You are doing great, just having a momentary rough patch. Treat yourself to something beachy but decadent. I found this recipe in the forum this morning, and it is delicious:

No-flour Cinnamon (Snicker doodle) Cake or Muffins (bean cake based), P1

-1 can great northern beans drained and rinsed
-4 eggs
-1t baking powder
-2T olive oil
-3/4 C sugar substitute
-1 tsp cinnamon
* mix cinnamon and splenda together, sprinkle on top

Combine all ingredients in the blender and process until smooth. Pour in a 11x7 pan and bake at 400 until toothpick is clear when inserted in the center around 25 min. Works well as muffins too!

OR- I want to try this one

Chocolate Chiffon
tsp gelatin (1 envelope)
1/2 cup Splenda
1/8 tsp salt
1/3 cup cocoa powder
3 eggs -- separated
1 1/2 cups FF half and half
1 tsp vanilla extract

Mix gelatin, 1/4 cup of Splenda, salt and cocoa in double boiler. Beat egg yolks and half and half together. Add to gelatin. Cook over boiling water, stirring until gelatin is dissolved, about 5 minutes. Remove from heat and add vanilla. Chill to unbeaten egg white consistency. Beat egg whites until stiff; beat in remaining 1/4 cup Splenda. Fold gelatin mixture into egg whites.
Turn into 6 custard cups.


You can do this.
Christin

[arugula_salad]

Thanks, Christin. I don't know whether to respond here or in your journal. I guess here. Thank you for the treat recipes! I have a mental block against using artificial sweetener in baking! It just seems like so much chemical, as opposed to a packet or two in a coffee or on yogurt. It's kinda silly, because I'm not afraid of diet coke, which probably has way more than 1/2 a cup of aspartame. I think what might work for me is the no-sugar-added fudgicles.

Thank you again so much for the support.

[ladybugmom]

I know what you mean about the sweetener. It took me a while to get used to the thought of using some thing artificial when plain sugar seems so much more natural. Hope you had lots of fun on the beach today!

[arugula_salad]

This is going to be about not sticking to SB, so you might want to look elsewhere for inspiration.

Okay, so... Am I doing this or not? Do I wake up (almost) every morning feeling crappy from too much sugar/carbs/alcohol? Yes. Does that feel good? No. Can I get back to "beachy" eating? I don't know. What about those days when I cannot sit at my desk for one more second unless I have chocolate/sugar? Yes, sometimes it does help me focus or at least sit still and do some work for five minutes. Aren't there other things I can do besides turn to treats? Or can I have just a small piece of dark chocolate? Maybe. What about when I get home in the evening, when I'm tired and frustrated and my kids are driving me crazy and I just want to stuff myself? Can I just snack on roasted chick peas and veggies? What about how I want to eat all day, from the minute I get to work? That is a behavioral challenge that I need to work on. What about all that artificial sweetener? Ugh. What about the cooking that I do for my kids and husband, in addition to the cooking & food prep for me? I don't want to stay in the kitchen doing food prep after my kids are in bed every night. Sometimes I just want to eat a big bowl of spaghetti (even the healthier kind) with my kids.

I guess it's good for me to write out and see my issues with diet, SB, and emotions. Hopefully by recognizing them I can start dealing & being truthful with myself. After work today I'm going to the grocery store to buy all my SB-friendly foods and start again tomorrow. I think it's better if I can have one piece of fruit, which I will have at night after dinner.

Here we go again...

[arugula_salad]

Just checking in here to say that I'm not giving up. This past weekend I was "more or less" doing it, which is better than nothing. We'll be out of town staying with relatives for several days, so I'm not going to be in as much control of my food, and I'm just accepting that and will do my best and get back on track when I return next week. My new jeans are uncomfortably tight in the waist.

Meanwhile, someone brought in LOADS of homemade cookies to work today. Impossible to resist, but possible not to over-indulge.