this dog is going down!

[happymo4]

Hi SH! LOL! Love the rabid description! Stinks about that stupid, stupid scale! It will be better next week. Forget about it even thought that is easier said than done. I cringed when I read about your blisters. OUCH! Love that you love lunch for your brekkie! So do I! My problem is that I like to chase it down with a pepsi but I am trying so hard to not do that anymore. It is getting a little easier but I still think about my pepsi every day. Have a great week and stay strong and show that stupid scale up next week!
Maureen

[mrsgjr]

Sh, I may not get in here tomorrow so wishing you a Happy Mother's Day and hope it is all that you want it to be

[mrsgjr]

Happy Friday Sh!! I know you normally only check in here on Friday so hope to read that all is well in your world

Wishing you a Fantabulous Friday and take good care of Sh today please and thank you

[doghouse]

I am bleak. A gain this week. but more to the reasons why later........ i am a fraud for being here.... i am not on the prgramme now and need to get back on. This is edited and adapted email i sent to my brothers and best friend.... if it does not make sense to anyone reading, it will make sense to me when i read this back next year looking fab at 72kgs!!! Wondering how I got through this bad spell so triumphantly!!

On Thursday I got some bad news about an investment that brothers and I inherited after my mum died. It has at last (3 years later) been finalised. I went into a complete shock and therefore a feeding frenzy ( ) , seriously though I was absolutely astonished/disappointed/angry when we got the news – it is 30% less than I expected….. what made me so horrified was perhaps mum knew something we did not and we were too busy telling her she was mad (she had had a nervous breakdown and to be honest we did not deal with it very well at times.....), instead of listening to her? I , of course, being who I am that takes on guilt at the slightest opportunity, now feel so bad the way we shouted her down the whole time, when she really seemed worried about her investment... and maybe had good reason to. I know I should just wait to see what the lawyer says (he is also shocked) before I continue to accrue grey hairs and kilogrammes. i also just think omg – the farm , now this, which I know is a small amount in comparison but is everyone going to just steal from us? Albeit the second one inadvertently – or was it!?!?!?!? . I was feeling sorry for Gordon Brown but now I want to kick his ass. BIG time! So that is one of the issues.....

Today is a bit hectic as in the am we are going to look at a dog (a couple we know has offered us pick of the litter from a GSD – as a gift!!!!) ( removed text as organising to see one brother....) . Then home for a bath (IF the water is back by then GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrr – it went off again, it seems a weekend thing that we must live without water in our taps MAKES me MAD!) , then the kids have got a birthday party at the cousins in the afternoon. (removed text) . Tomorrow we are home, but both xx and I have exams next week (mine is on Monday – the one you (my brother) helped me with….. going ace that one!! LOL) But you could come for some tea actually because by then I know we will be bored with studying.

So some news of the family this week….. Monday (dh) contracted BD (beneficial disease where you can lose 5 kgs – good (if you are me) , but you have to put up with fever and the worse tummy bug ever – bad….) BAD – (dd1) got it too…… (nothing good about that – not a BD, a DD – disasterous disease). Monday I had to go and relief teach because Mrs xxx’s husband got mauled by a buffalo in the valley – he is a hunter , terrible, but what can I say, i hate hunting (!) . He is still in ICU , she is being incredibly brave inspite of them not operating immediately as Avenues Clinic had NO electricity and there generator was BUGGERED! I ask you….. (dd2) got DD on Tuesday.. On top of all this we all have FLU!...... Thursday my day started off with a trip to dentist – (dd1) did not want to even sit in chair. Cried would not open her mouth. However we have a lovely lady dentist who is so sweet and patient she negotiated her way into having a look!!! So that went fine and my teeth are also holding up….. although I brush them too hard and have removed the enamel from the top ones….. now this is the good part of the day….. the dentist out of the kindness of her heart decided she would not charge for the check ups and I only had to pay for my scale and polish. I burst into tears. I always think people only do kind things for us because of DH (my own poor self esteem) but maybe just maybe I also deserve nice things to happen to me sometimes. The reason we had put off the dentist was we had no money and I wanted to cancel again this month but knew I would just be a dreadful mother if I did not take xxxx for a check up as her teeth are so bad……. Anyway, then I take her to school and the whole of grade one are having a hearing test (well not all but they really wanted us to do it) now it cost 15$ and I thought you know what at this stage of the month, Hannah has no hearing problems at all tht I have ever noticed, or any of her teachers……. So I said I do not think I will do it. Then on my way to the car I bumped into the headmistress and she was like oh I really think you should do it, it is cheap ( for her!) and worthwhile. I saw her point but at the same time I knew it might not be accurate because of xx’s flu. But I went with it…. To be told when I collected her at lunch time. I am sorry she is one of the few kids with a problem and it is URGENT. Get her to the ENT specialist. Hmmmm. There is an infection but I think there is another problem on top of that – says the teacher…. (she herself was shocked because xxx is one of the brightest in her class and she def. did not suspect anything) Anyway, we spoke to the audiologist and she said we could see the doctor which thanks to the kindness of the dentist we had money for ($30 a visit to the doc!! Cash up front) so DH took xxx yesterday and she has to go on antibiotics. Actifed and ponstan. She has a bad middle ear infection which if left could cause damage to the eardrum and deafness. I feel so awful but the thing is xxx never once said mummy I have sore ears . so if my kids do not tell me my ears are sore then I will just let them go deaf – WHAT kind of mother am i!!!!! Right I think that just about sums up the life and dramatic times of the xxxx this week. I am sure lots of good things happened too! LOL!!!
Oh no I put on weight..... I am now 2 kgs away from my 2nd mini goal (have six more to reach!!)

[happymo4]

Hi Sh! You poor thing....so sorry you feel so bleak. Don't worry about being a fraud (I actually LMAO at that), I was a fraud all winter and finally began. It is your warming up phase. You can do it. What a crazy, stressful time you have been having. Things will get better. They have to. You are a great mom and don't let any sort of guilt get into your head. Guilt and anger are so bad for you. Relax and maybe try to go for a quick walk if you can. Walking actually got me started in the right direction, along with drinking water when I was hungry before I ate anything. I have cheated horribly this week but I am going to try really hard to get back on track. We can do this! We will be so much healthier and happier and our stressors will not feel as tough to get through. I am sending you positive, happy thoughts that everything is going to be OK!
Maureen

[PaulaB]

hey, my dear girl, you are not alone. I'm a BIG fraudster too. The beach will be ready for us WHEN we get there. I'm so sorry to read all your troubles. I only wish we could have a walk then sit and chat over a cuppa tea. No worries about being a bad mother, you are such a wonderful Mom. Here is my bad mother story: My son was about 7 months old, he was always a wiggler and not much of a cuddler. One day, cuddling was all he wanted to do. I was in heaven. We sat in the rocking chair, read story books and just had a cuddly time. He even slept in my arms--which he NEVER would do. When my DH arrived home after work, I was happily telling him about the wonderful change from the wriggler to the hugger. He picked up his son, looked at him, felt his forehead (which was burning up and flushed). We ended up rushing our son to the hospital Emergency ward. To bring down the fever, he was immersed in cold water bath as well as given some medications. Here I had spent the day loving my son for all it was worth instead of noticing how sick my child was. Some Mother I was. Love you, Doghouse, see you are not as bad a Mom as I was

[mrsgjr]

Sh, i'm sorry you're feeling bleak this week. I'm also sending you postive thoughts and keeping you uplifted in Prayer. This too shall pass and you've got a wealth of support right here on these boards!!

We all fall into a 'fraud' category from time to time. It's what we do after we realize that we're into that zone that really and truly matters. You've come to the realization but have plans to move forward so you've won half the battle. Keep your head up as you know this works when you work it (GrammaKD quote!).

Take good care of yourself today and know you're thought of and loved

[doghouse]

Day two.... i can do it. over posting on SBO. thanks paula b, maureen and wanda for your kind and thoughtful words. you are all amazing women - thank you!

[mrsgjr]

Hey Sh! Checking in on you. Tomorrow is prom so probably won't get in here until Saturday again so wishing you a wonderful day on the Beach.

Take good care of Sh today please and thank you

[PaulaB]

try the tofu sandwiches

[doghouse]

Yay or woot woot as mrsgjr would say..... some of that dratted gain has gone.... down 0.6kgs but still 1.9kgs off my mini goal which i was supposed to have hit.... sigh. anyway, phase 1 is going well although i am reaaaaaaaaaalllly missing fruit. paulab, those tofu sarmies are going to have to wait. actually tofu is a rare ingredient here - you can sometimes buy it raw at the chinese takeway shops. i do not know if i have eaten it more than twice - i am sure i would like those sarms though!
Still not exercising which is my biggest problem so far. weather getting chilly (we are on a par with europe now - both in the early 20's lol!! but it is cold for US africans!!) that said, the weather is certainly NO excuse, i just need to get myself organised.
got to get studying now, it is nearly 9 am and i have done nothing yet!!

[happymo4]

Hey SH! I am so happy for you that you are going the right way with the scale! Yay for you! Keep it up! I am going to do phase 1 for 5 days starting tomorrow because I have been too easy on myself lately and my cravings are back . I know that we can do it! You are motivating me !
maureen

[mrsgjr]

Hey Sh!! WOOT WOOT on the loss and take it for what it is...no sighing Lady! That means that you did something right so continue to do whateva that was

Been a bad eater on the Beach this week but will be back next week. DH & DD are gone this weekend so i'm all alone but have plans to hang with a few friends so it's all good.

Happy Friday and take good care of Sh today please and thank you

[doghouse]

Okay now you all I have got some FANTASTIC news!!!! I am down to my second mini goal which means I lost 1.9 kgs this week! Whhhhhooooot tooot or whatever you say i am so happy. P1 paid off, and now i am going to be so strict about reintroducing P2 things. not go overboard like i did before. i am going to start with starchy veggies, like butternut, peas, carrots. then will do ONE fruit. last and definitely least breads, pastas etc. just cannot control myself like a mature adult with those things.
anyway also had my last exam tonight so double woottoot.
wanda so thrilled to see you back at last - you were soooooo missed!

[cheshirecat]

WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP!! Well done you!!! Let me be the first to congratulate you on your hard work!! And also three cheers for getting all your exams out of the way, that's a big relief huh