You certainly are dealing with a lot of stress and my sympathy and prayers are with you. You need to take care of and pamper yourself quite a bit, but not with cookies and pasta!
If you haven't joined a support group to help deal with the loss of your child, try and find one. Nobody else understands how painful that can be. Yes, we can understand intellectually, but it takes other people in your shoes to really relate. Exercise will also help give you endorphins, which will help your feel better emotionally. If you can't afford a gym or Y membership, most libraries have exercise DVDs that you can borrow. It's hard to exercise in winter but if you force yourself to do it, you will feel better in the long run. Make the time for yourself to exercise and have an at-home spa day. Take a bubble bath, paint your toenails, light some candles, have some healthy soup in a pretty bowl.
Find some comfort foods that are SB friendly. Some of my favorite healthy comfort foods are chili, creamy pureed veggie soups with some light Velveeta stirred in, veggies roasted in olive oil, eggplant lasagna, and almost anything with melted low fat cheese. Apples sliced an cooked in the microwave with a bit of cinnamon gives you something warm and yummy and comfort smells.
I haven't told you anything you don't already know and I realize you can't always do what you know you need to do. Just start with small steps so you're moving in the right direction. The support on this board is wonderful - keep checking in here and you'll find lots of people to talk to. Stop beating yourself up when you slip. We all slip and most of us aren't dealing with anywhere near the stress you're dealing with.
Restart : 1/8/13
Restart Wt: 184.4
Round 1: 1/5/09
Beginning Wt: 191.6
Goal #1 Met: 160.0 7/09
Goal #2 Met: 155.0 3/10
Ultimate goal: 150-155 without having to kill myself with exercise or give up chocolate, ice cream, or wine!