Conquering the UNconquerable!!!

[2muchAngel]

Congratulations on 50 sessions of Yoga I'm sorry to hear that they postponed your surgery...I know you are not looking forward to it, but that even when we are not looking forward to something...we still usually want to get them over with!

[brandywine1974]

Thanks Angel. You are right. I cannot tell you how ready I am to put it all behind me. So my new surgery date is 8/11/09.

Weight: 279 GRRRRRRRR. I am going to contribute the impossible pound to stress.

Brunch: chicken taco salad, ice tea
S: apple, walnuts, water
L: (Wendy's) chili, side salad with ranch/water
S: orange, string cheese
D: (Denny's) chopped steak with onions/mushrooms, side salad/ranch/no croutons, water
S: peppermint tea, 1% milk

My appetite seriously sucks. I had to force myself to eat snacks and didn't really finish any of my main meals. It is a very rare occasion that I lose my appetite. I'm not sure what the deal is.

Excercise:
Walk: 20 min, 30 min
Yoga
Steps: 10046

[brandywine1974]

Weight: 280 double grrrrr

My appetite still sucks butt. I think I may be too low on carbs. I noticed that I have unintentionally cut out a lot of them recently. I am going to try to incorporate the 4 servings that I had worked up to again this week and maybe it will help my appetite and kick start the weight again. Who freakin' knows.

B: half of a ww tortilla with cheese. Couldn't stomach the other half. And this is something I normally LOVE. ls V8, 1% milk
S: cashews, apple, water
L: half of a can of Amy's brand organic black bean chili, salad with ranch,cheese stick, ice tea
S: nectarine (oh, how I love thee), 1% milk. Couldn't make myself eat the cheese stick I had planned.
D: I made this recipe that I love pre SB. Modified with chicken sausage/ww pasta (correct portion as well)/and diced tomatoes because the stewed had added sugar. It was pretty good!
http://www.recipezaar.com/Italian-Peppe ... nner-81311
S: 1% milk and maybe some hot tea

Excercise:
Walk: 30 min
Yoga
Steps: 10579

[wickd03]

Stay off the freakin scale for 2 weeks girl! That thing is an evil monster.....bad juju from that thing......LOL!!!!
I am so glad Julia Child came thru you again....and you cooked....!
YA YA YA YA............

Well, keep plugging along......

[brandywine1974]

Yes. Yesterday was my day to NOT eat out. I figured I better get it over with early so I wouldn't forget like I did last week.

I am really struggling with this stupid CPAP. I think my pressure may be too high. I didn't wear it last night and I felt better today than I have in 2 weeks. I need to call the medical supply place and talk with them about it. But I think I will just let that wait till I am done with my surgery........

[brandywine1974]

Weight: 279

B: ww tortilla with colby jack cheese, ls V8, 1% milk
S: NONE!! Working my dog a** off.
L: leftover from last night, nectarine, water
S: banana, ice tea, walnuts
D: (Furr's) chopped beef patty, spinach, black eyed peas, salad with ranch, water
S: 1% milk

Excercise:
Steps: I sooooo screwed myself today with the steps. When I got home from work at about 4ish I checked and was already at 9253. Wooohoooo!!! Well, I keep my pedometer on my panties, because it was getting knocked off continuously. Especially at work with the moving of the patients etc. I guess when I flipped the waist band on my jeans back up I flipped it upside down.
Grrrr. So it still said 9253. So I walked a bit to got it up to 10052. FRICK! Hubby got a good laugh at that because he is always having h*ll with his pedometer resetting, not reading right etc. Oh, well.

[DallasBrownBombshell]

Seems like you are making good progress none the less.
Geez, if I had a pedometer the results would be so horrible.

I say keep going, good thing you have Hubby to help you out.

[brandywine1974]

Dallas.....the pedometer thing was VERY eye opening. It is no wonder I got to be over 300 pounds. I ate JUNK and did not MOVE at all hardly.

Currently.....I am disgruntled but trudging along. There are so many successful people on here (my sistah,Wickd, who amazes me daily) that it makes me feel bad that I struggle so much with this sometimes. I don't know why it should be so hard for me. All I can figure is that the current level of stress in my life is messing with my resolve. I am strong, I am strong, I am strong. Have been sleeping a lot because I just don't feel like dealing with my own thoughts. I hate it when I get like this. This stupid surgery cannot happen soon enough. I just want to be done with it. Plus it was a full moon last night with an eclipse. I am sensitive to the moon phases. Sometimes they make me moody.

Yesterdays stats:
Weight: 281, I know I am retaining water like crazy for some reason. I wake up with blanket impressions all over my body. I don't THINK my sodium intake has increased. I can hear Wickd now.........salt, salt, salt. I know your are right.

B: half of my ww tortilla/cheese/turkey bacon wrap. Appetite still sucks. ls V8, 1% milk
S: banana, walnuts
L: (Wendy's) taco salad/no dressing or crunchy strips, ice tea
Looooooooooong nap
S: nectarine, cheese stick
Very late dinner: (Denny's) grilled chicken salad/ranch, 2 shrimp skewers, water. The shrimp tasted good to me. Just picked at the salad though
S: 1% milk

Excecise:
Steps: 10489

[jacarver]

Hey Brandywine, I just started on SB. Well started phase 2 today, and came upon your journal. I have not read through it all (13 pages is a lot ), but I see we have several things in common. I am a nurse (NICU) and am also on a cpap machine at night. I look forward to getting to know you and getting some tips and advice from you. Congrats on all you've accomplished so far and I hope everthing goes well.

[brandywine1974]

Thanks for stopping by my journal jacarver! I am hardly an expert, but would love to help any way I can. Look forward to getting to know you too.

So today was a good day. I KNOW I dropped a ton of water weight that I was holding on to because I was in and out of the restroom a bunch. Played hooky from work and did exactly what I wanted to day. Really needed a mental health day. And got to speak with my sistah on the phone. So nice to put a voice with the written words that I have grown to love so much. Really lifted my spirits.

Weight: 281

Late B (slept in and it was wonderful): cheese stick, ls V8
S: nectarine, 1% milk
L: salad with ranch, couple of ham/cheese slices, water
S: grapes, 1% milk, ice tea
D: (Red Chimney) turkey, pinto beans, salad with ranch, water
S: 1% milk

Appetite is still pretty lousy.
Excercise:
EXTRA long yoga session
Steps: 2975. Eh, it is what it is. Sometimes the mental health takes precedence over the excercise.

Peace,
B.

[wickd03]

I feel the need to talk at ya about the walking thing......LOL!!!

I HATE walking....(well sort of....I hate NOT being able to amble on down the road due to being so damn fat more...but this walking for exercise and health bites the big one!) but I do it. I struggle also...my knees scream in pain..(and you thought you were hearing the wind howl), and I grunt, and I sweat, and I just am plain ol' not pretty when I do it.....and I walk alone, down the dirt road so noone can see me. I do not want people watching this huge mass of adipose tissue struggle. The moose don't care...they can watch......

Most days I peer at the pedometer with such disdain it is a wonder it just doesn't implode. It is hard for me. I have to really push myself. I have cried while walking, and even called my husband once to come and pick me up because I had walked too far in one direction and did not think I could make it back to the house......

But, I persevere with the tenacity (Gramma's word) of a bull moose. When I post my steps in my journal I do not tell of the the struggles I have had with each one of those steps...but believe me....I really really struggle and ask myself "How come noone else on this planet has as much trouble getting moving as me?"

So, you are not alone in this walking thing.....and the next time you think you hear the wind howl, just remember it is my joints screaming in pain......LOL!!!

[brandywine1974]

Not that I WANT anyone to suffer.......Especially, you. But it makes me feel a little less like a wimp to know that I am not the only one that struggles with the NEEDS before WANTS. hahahaha!

I consider myself a strong woman, but sometimes............it is really hard to force myself to do something I hate doing.

[wileybosco]

If it were easy we'd be done and all weigh 125. (I think that was my birth weight!) It's daily working it. You are doing great!!!!

[brandywine1974]

If it were easy we'd be done and all weigh 125.

Good point. Thanks!

[hikerchick]

Here's my unbidden advice: Take your scale outside and a)run over it with your car b) through from top of tall building or c) (and my personal favorite) use it as a projectile in one of those giant medieval sling shot things.

You are doing great, the scale is just a number!!!!! Are you measuring yourself? Doing body fat testing? There are a lot of ways to measure your loss that might be more accurate. But they are still just numbers. How do you feel? You are doing so great with your food and walking and yoga, that has to give you a huge sense of accomplishment and momentum. Here I read this last night "It's the process of improvement and creation that makes you feel good about yourself, more than the end result." Thats from Tom Venuto's book the Body Fat Solution. And you are DOING IT!!!! Yea!!!!

Live long and prosper!