Bad Day....Need to Vent!

[ready2lose26]

I am getting frustrated...I have been on SBD since New Year's and have been doing really well to stay on track without any cheating. All of my family knows that I am dieting, but seem to forget it when it interferes with what they want. For example, my husband and I were invited out to lunch by his parents to go to Famous Dave's this weekend. This is one of their favorite restaurants, as well as mine, but there is hardly anything on the menu that is SBD friendly. So now I am torn...I either have to ask them to go somewhere else, have something that is not on the diet or barely legal, or not go at all. Either way I am going to alienate someone! I do not want to cheat on the diet, but am tired of drawing attention to the fact that I am on a diet...again. Even my own husband is frustrated because he feels like he has to sacrifice what he wants because there is nothing SBD friendly at the place he really wants to go. He is usually very supportive, but there are moments where I think he is testing me!

The most frustrating part is that I have lost approximately 25 lbs. (10 lbs before New Year's on WW) and no one seems to have noticed! I still have a lot further to go (about 50 lbs.) to get to where I want to be. Instead of hearing about how good I am doing, I am just hearing about how my diet is holding other people back from getting what they want. Why doesn't anyone understand that you can't be successful on a diet when you aren't following it!? Most of all, I am just tired and embarrassed that it seems that I am always on a diet, but don't seem to be losing any weight. Can anyone else relate? Also, I have been on the diet about 6 weeks now...Does 15 lbs lost in 6 weeks sound about right (2 weeks on P1, 4 weeks and counting on P2)? I've gone down about two pants sizes too...I guess I just need some validation.

[ladybugnessa]

15 pounds in 6 weeks is over 2 pounds a week. that's GREAT.

as for famous daves... grilled salmon on salad. i had it there a few weeks ago.... not the best salmon but legal.... and doable.

you are gonna have to learn to be flexible.... sadly it's a fact of life.

you can almost always find salad and grilled fish or chicken ANYWHERE.... i think in the nearly 2 years i've been on the beach i've only ever found 2 places where i could not find something somewhat beachy....


sounds to me that the family is sabatogueing (sp?) you on purpose. any idea why?

[ready2lose26]

Unfortunately, I don't like fish/seafood except for shrimp. I'm sure that I could find a grilled chicken salad of some sort, however. I think that my family just doesn't realize how committed I am this time. I just don't think that they can relate to being 50+ lbs. overweight. Oh well, I'll just have to be that much more stubborn with them! Thanks for the advice!

[Veggi]

I just checked out the online menu of Famous Dave's, and I see they DO have a grilled chicken salad. It will be tough eating at a favorite place and not ordering your favorites there, but there is SOMETHING you can order. I've been a vegetarian for many years, and have learned that if there is just one item on a menu that I can eat, I am satisfied with it. You can enjoy the experience of sharing a meal with your family/friends. Also, usually some changes/special requests/substitutions are often possible, you just have to ask.
I hope your family will be more supportive of you. Meanwhile, I hope you can keep peace! You're doing really great, making excellent progress. At this rate, you'll reach your goal this year!
Incidentally, you and I seem to be at a similar stage in our weight loss journey. We can do it!!

[RedRox]

FWIW, shrimp is fine on SB. You just have to watch how it is prepared or what you dunk it in!

[Magna]

I think that my family just doesn't realize how committed I am this time. I just don't think that they can relate to being 50+ lbs. overweight. Oh well, I'll just have to be that much more stubborn with them! Thanks for the advice!

I agree with you - be as stubborn with them as you need to. In my experience, sometimes people will assume you're not serious about it and will put you on the spot. For example, they'll prepare a special dish and insist that you eat it, or drag you along to an ice cream parlor, or make you a birthday cake or cajole you about it or something. Just don't go along with whatever it is. Sometimes you can get around it nicely ("Unfortunately, I'm not eating cake, but I thank you for thinking of me.") and sometimes you may just have to be a little difficult (e.g., sit there not eating.) Explaining things in advance to people will make it easier for them to see it is their fault, not yours, if they have put you on the spot and you are not going along with their wishes. It is worth putting up a fuss over something important, like your health. Good luck!

[ladybugnessa]

FWIW I just had someone offer me a yummy cracker. I wanted the cracker... i'm hungry for my evening rice... lunch was skimpy today....

I said "no thank you I can't eat white flour" and he said "oh yeah I remember you saying that, sorry I offered".


it just takes time, they get used to you saying no.

[mots]

God gave us free will to choose.
It is a wonderful gift. Even the stars cannot do it. We are greater than the universe. We can choose! What an awesome ability. What a great Gift!
Others are pressuring You to go against Your Will. i suspect they are greatly threatened by Your showing how strong You are. People get their security from the unchanging enviroment. If things stay the same; things will continue the same way. If You change it's rocking their boat. Of course they are trying to make You eat! It's the only way they can keep secure........ if You become thin(er) the status quo will go up in smoke. Who will be the 'fat one'??? Will it be me if she looses weight? Will she leave me? Will she run around and find someone better? And the kicker of all time===="If She finally changes and betters herself, actually changes her life style and achieves her long time goals what does that make me? A Failure????"
Oh, Yeah, they NEED You to not change and they are doing their level best to see that it doesn't happen.......
Don't blame them; they probably don't even know they are doing it.....
Just take Your God Given Gift of Choice and choose to make a better You out of it.... But be loving toward them. They are scared of You.......
Just say:

"Oh, i'll have the chicken over salad with dressing on the side.... and ......
just being with the people I Love is celebration enough for me...."

Best! and i'm rooting for You!!!!!!
Go, Girl, Go!!!!
mots