Journal of a Lifetime Yo Yo Dieter

[lifetime yo-yo]

Will I ever get my life in order diet-wise? I feel like I'm constantly starting a new diet and now I'm just stuck at this dreadful weight.

On April 13th this year I went to an alternative doctor when I was just totally listless and could barely put one foot in front of the other - from someone who's always been pretty active - even being grossly overweight - this was a real worry to my DH.

Prior to that appointment I'd been under the care of my general practitioner and he just kept adding more and more meds to reduce my blood pressure, cholesterol and blood sugar. I don't want to take all these meds - shake me and I'll rattle!

The alternative doctor said that I shouldn't stop any of them but he was putting me on a diet and recommending a course of acupuncture and reflexology. I was a massive 127kg - never in my life had I weighed so much and was it any wonder that my whole body felt as if it was closing down on me.

It was a long slow progress but I religiously walked for one hour every single day, followed the program and attended acupuncture and reflexology appointments. By the end of July I was down 6kg - it was a huge effort for a mere 6kg. Even if I looked at it as 13lb it didn't help me accept it any better. At this rate it was going to take me a lifetime. I know it's taken me years and years to get this big but I don't want to spend years and years getting back to where I was 20 years ago.

The acupuncture had no effect - as far as I could tell - but the reflexology got rid of a huge amount of lymph problems and I really felt better for it.

Then the long hot summer struck and while my DH and 3 kids were in the UK I was stuck here in the Middle East in 40 degree heat and 85% humidity. I had a business to run and suffered every day for the whole of August and September - and didn't take one step in my walking regime.

[lifetime yo-yo]

Sometime during the summer I also stumbled across a support group for women who know all there is to know about dieting but just need the support of others around them.

I went along but didn't feel that comfortable as I was by far the biggest there. I don't care what anybody says, when you are with a group of people who all weight between 85-95kg and you are weighing in at 121kg there is a huge feeling of inadequacy. I was told "we all have a lot to lose" but I just couldn't get my head around the fact that I had 25-30kg to lose just to be as "overweight" as them!

I went another couple of times but kept finding excuses not to go. A 45 minute drive each way is a long way to go to feel even more inadequate than you do already.

So October rolled in and the humidity dropped and I thought I must get a grip and take control. I made the decision that I was going to go back to the support group and change my attitude.

I also found this site and for the first time in a long long time I could see that I could begin to move forward.

I went back to the support group last Thursday and weighed in at 118.5kg and was amazed that I'd dropped a couple of kilos without even thinking about it.

[lifetime yo-yo]

And today I started SB...well actually I started yesterday but I hadn't really done any shopping and although b/fast, snack, lunch and afternoon snack went well, I fell away in the evening because I just wasn't prepared so I'm putting that down to a trial run.

Monday 22 October 2007

B/fast: 2-egg veg omelette made with Pam, 2 eggs, drop of milk, onion, zucchini, salt & black pepper, mozzarella cheese
cup of herbal tea, glass of water, meds

Snack: didn't have a snack as I got caught up in a meeting all morning which I wasn't expecting and didn't have anything with me

2 glasses of water

Lunch: 4 cherry tomatoes while I was preparing a salad of lettuce, cabbage, cucumber, tomato, spring onion, tuna, dressing - salt & black pepper, olive oil, balsamic vinegar, Dijon mustard, washed down with a very small glass of diet cola

[lifetime yo-yo]

It's now 5.30pm and I'm struggling to make it to supper time.

I've had loads and loads of water and I've snacked all afternoon on cabbage, tomatoes and humous. I also ate 30 pistachios but I just can't stop thinking about food. It doesn't really help that I work from home and food's just through there in that big white thingy.

For supper I've got some chicken strips that I'm going to grill. They're marinading now in balsamic vinegar, garlic and lemon juice. I've also made a fava bean and tomato stew which I hope I can eat. I hate beans but I have to see whether I can tolerate them for the sake of SBD. If I can and they fill me up then they just might be my life saver.

I can't find the fudgicle things nor could I find any SF jello but once I've had supper I won't want anything else to eat - evenings are never a problem for me and never have been. Afternoons are the worst.

[mrd]

Wow you are doing great!!!!!
I have managed to get through today so far...although its now only 2:45 pm. I am having my little yoghurt and loving it.... I have even found the Korean word for carbohydrate!!! So i can now hunt down the carbs in almost anything!!!

Im sure tonight will be ok because I am heading off to get more veggies.

Also I read somewhere on this board that
"nothing tastes as good as skinny"
So this is my new mantra.
It has stopped me from eating the box of chocolates on my desk given to me by a co worker. It has also stopped me from eating the cupcakes we made in cooking class.
Hooray!!!
I have heard (read) that there is a three day hurdle to get over.... so heres hoping it wont be too hard.
Good luck!!!
Mrd

[lifetime yo-yo]

Hey mrd well done you for resisting the chocs.

It's 8am here and I'm just waiting for my breakfast to cook -

2-egg omelette with some left over salmon, onion, zucchini, 1/2% white cheese, black pepper and a sprinkling of grated yellow cheese.

You can't really get LF hard cheese here to I have to make do with a miniscule amount of the real stuff - it was 2 tsps worth (I measured it)

I have to try and get away from my desk more often otherwise I'm going to find myself having to deal with these hunger pangs every day and I'm not sure how long I can persevere.

I don't have a scale, which is probably a good thing, but I have this obsession with looking in the mirror and trying to gauge whether my gigantic stomach has reduced at all.

If I had a scale I'd be just as obsessed which is why I threw the damn thing away in the first place. I used to get on and off that scale all day long and each time I saw the needle rise I'd head for the fridge completely deflated (unfortunately not literally!)

The mirror thing I think has the opposite effect because I really want it to deflate and I can see even slight changes.

Anyway enough rabbiting, off to eat my omelette which has just disintegrated in the pan and didn't come out as a nice big fluffy round thing as it usually does.

[lifetime yo-yo]

Day 3

For the first time I woke up not feeling starving hungry - amazing!

I made my usual 2-egg omelette with some cheese but no vegetables. I had a salad instead with some left over grilled halumi cheese from last night. I had to force myself to finish the omelette! I know I should have stopped when I felt full but there's something ingrained in me that cannot leave food on the plate. I grew up being told that if I didn't finish what was on my plate in one meal, I'd get it for the next. I really need to learn that having it for the next meal isn't necessarily so bad, but I think I might try making my omelette with one egg tomorrow.

Lunch was a large chicken salad with lite mayo.

My snacks today were cabbage, humous, 1.5% turkey pastrama, some cherry tomatoes - not even as many of those as I've been having - and my 30 pistachios.

I felt slightly light-headed this afternoon but after eating my pistachios felt a lot better..

I've drunk 1.5 litres of water and a cup of herbal tea.

Supper is going to be ratatouille with some more LF turkey pastrama.

Tomorrow I'm going to make a large pan of lentil, split pea and vegetable soup which I'll have for meals but also there in case I need extra at snack time.

All in all I really don't feel hungry and I really hope that I've lost some weight. Tomorrow is weigh-in night. I'll only have been on SBD for 4 days but it will give me a bit of an indication and it is a week since I last weighed in which is what I took my starting weight from.

[pixel]

yo-yo sounds like you are doing great, keep it up!

I'm going to make some chili tonight for tomorrows lunch or dinner (or maybe both I love chili). I think we will have bunless burgers and Im going to try the fake garlic mashed potatos.

I highly suggest taking some pictures tonight if you can so that you can see the difference in size as you lose weight, your eyes may decieve you. I like the idea of taking the pictures in the same clothes each time. Even if you dont want to post them you can look at them yourself to help you stay on track.

You know whats weird? I've had dreams the last two nights and remembered both clearly when I woke up. I cant remember the last time that happened. Maybe it means Im getting a better type of sleep because I'm eating healtier than before!

[YagudinRocks]

Thanks for the encouragement lifetime! And good luck to you too!

I was just reading your comments on pixel's thread and mine...its so nice to have support of people in similar situations - makes it easier to get through.

We started on the same day...it will be fun to make progress with you!!

Patti

[lifetime yo-yo]

Hey guys - I ain't going anywhere and look forward to travelling with you both.

[mrd]

19 pounds is great!!!!!!!
Congrats!!!!!!!! Ohhh how id wished i had found a set of scales!!!!
Have a great day today!!!!!
Mrd

[lifetime yo-yo]

No, no, no - 19lbs was what I lost before starting SBD - I put it in there so that I didn't have to look at 0lb lost!!!!!!

I have my weigh-in tonight at the support group I attend so I'll know whether I've officially lost any SBD weight. I don't have scales at home either.

[mrd]

Thats a great idea about the food.... I had never ever thought about getting it to go..... so i can pass it on!!!! Clever thinking!!!!
Best of luck with the weigh in.

Hope the beach has been good to you!!!
Mrd

[lifetime yo-yo]

Hey mrd - that's what friends are for.

[YagudinRocks]

Good Luck at the weigh in Yo-Yo!

Can't wait to hear how you are doing!