Lissa's Better Eating Journal

[DCLissa17]

Did good yesterday morning after work, though didn't do any exercises Work was slow so I was called in 2 hours late, which meant 2 hours more sleep!! So a decent 7 hours of sleep. Felt sooo nice.

Tonight is SOOO Slow at work, trying to convince myself to be somewhat productive. Mostly failing lol. Food ok:

B: 2 scrambled eggs, ham, Mott's medley fruit/veggie juice
L: sesame chicken w/ brown rice and steamed veggies (Healthy choice frozen meal...not awesome but better than most), coffee
S: grapes, cheese stick
D: ?? again, I don't have a meal plan made for the week. I need to make something that will have leftovers for lunch tomorrow. I just bought some steak so I might just make steak, mashed sweet potato, and asparagus (before it goes bad!).
S: greek yogurt w/ jello powder, veggies w/ refried beans

And P1 exercises. Really!

[DCLissa17]

Gonna go totally off topic (and crosspost to my wordpress blog because it is being sadly neglected):

Today was one of those odd days at work. It went really fast and I stayed occupied, but looking back I'm not sure how I stayed so busy! One great save....a cat with a clotting issue (suspect it got into ratbait) that we figured it out quick and got blood transfusions in and brought it back from the brink of death! very satisfying case.

So....once AGAIN, I said "phew, it's a slow week at the grocery stores and Rite Aid. I can chill out the crazy coupon shopping". Once again, I am proving myself wrong. While the week's sales are not many, the things that ARE great deals are big ones. And I have meat coupons for Safeway that expire 2/28 ($2 off any beef purchase...no minimum required! So I'm getting lots of packs of single cheaper steaks and small packs of stew meat for just over $2/pk minus $2 coupon = nearly free! I had 24 of these coupons, have to use them in separate transactions so I've been slowly buying beef for like 5 weeks. And at RiteAid, there is a HUGE sale (equaling $0.30/item) of Johnson & Johnson baby products that there is a zillion different coupons out for. Stock is limited and running out everywhere so its multiple stores/trips to gather them. AND I have rainchecks for deodorant from last week that I have coupons for to equal $0.80 moneymakers per item. The problem is that those coupons expire in 2 days and I actually made the mistake of BUYING the coupons. So I have 15 coupons left and if I don't find at least 10 more deodorants to purchase with them in the next 2 days, I won't break even on the deal. It's not a huge deal if I don't, but I hate to end up paying for a deal that should have been free (or make money!) just because I didn't pay attention. I wouldn't have bought the extra coupons if I had realized the expiration date was only ONE week out from the sales week. I KNEW that I'd be needing rainchecks and that it would probably take 2-4 weeks to gather all the stock....at least without running around to all 5 area stores 3 times this week. SOOO this week I've been stopping at a different Safeway & Rite Aid on my way home from work each morning. It's worked out....I've picked up 2-5 J&J baby products each time, gathered some other raincheck items at RA and a couple of other weekly deals, bought 2-3 meat packages a day, and not extended my day too much. Now down to 1 meat coupon and need 10 more deodorants (have coupons for 15 though). Luckily all the area RA get their supply trucks in today. So on my way to work tonight going to stop at one (hope they have deodorant!) and stop at another (or two) on the way home tomorrow. I'll be glad to get ANY more of those deodorants! And count it as a lesson learned.

Ok that's a lot of expanding on the coupon thing. Basically: it's going well. I love it, even when I'm frustrated by it. It's a very fun new hobby. As for SB, I'm very happy with how things are going. I'm definitely still working on convincing myself to do better on the exercise front though I think that will be easier once spring comes along. Food is going much better than I thought it would and drinking is drastically improved. Yay!

I still need to do a weekly meal plan, though I've been doing ok through this week "winging it":

B: HB egg, chicken, a few grapes, Motts veggie/jucie medley
L: steak, mashed sweet potatoes, asparagus, coffee
S: veggies w/ hummus, 2 oreos
D: tuna alfrdo w/ ww rotini, cauliflower/carrot/cranberry steamers, sparkling vitamin zero cranberry
S: 1/2 apple w/ PB, greek yogurt w/ jello powder

Did do exercises yesterday morning. Today not so much. Tonight is the last day of work and then 4 off. Have a TON of stuff I need to get down this weekend. Errands, housework, Pets at Home business, SB planning, etc. Going to sleep now!

[DCLissa17]

I am just SO not feeling it at work tonight. Trying to resist naughty snacking as a result. I've been working so much lately and while I'm tired, I'm not THAT tired. I think I have weekend-itis and there's a whiny dog and boring cases and ugh. Just really don't want to be here today! Only 3 hours left and then 4 (very busy!) days off, whoo hooo!

Been pretty good, just realized its 5a and I haven't had my mid "afternoon" snack! So will be getting that to forestall my candy drawing snitching

B: ~1/2 c. snap peas, turkey slices, coffee
L: ~1/3c. tuna noodle alfredo, 1 1/2 c. steamed veggies, LC cheese wedge, coffee
S: coffee, 2 oreos
real snack: veggies w/ refried beans
D: ???? once again, I haven't made the meal plan. It's on my long list of things to accomplish this weekend I'm thinking about beef stirfry over brown rice is what I'm gonna end up with this morning.
S: greek yogurt w/ jello powder, glass (or 2) of wine.Had a glass of wine w/ dinner and then zonked out... even before my TV episode had finished! No after-dinner snacks. As a side note, stopped by 3 Rite Aid on my way home and found 12 more deodorant! So I've broke even on that deal, in fact I've made $1.90 buying a total of 23 deodorant! yay!

And then sleeeeeep. And lots of weekend planning to be done.

[DCLissa17]

Ok, into my 4-day weekend. Yayayay! Today is kinda my "free" day where I don't worry too much about the things I "need" to do, just relax, catch up on sleep and TV, and unwind from a very long couple of weeks. As a result, the eating schedule goes by the wayside. I am still trying to adhere to the SB principles (if not the letter of the diet) so in an effort to stay somewhat accountable, I'm going to post what I'm eating as the day goes by.

Yesterday I zonked out on the chair soon after eating "dinner" in the morning and even before my TV episode I was watching was over. Woke up about 3pm, went to bed. Got up about 4:30 this morning. Just eating, catching up on TV, and relaxing. Later today at SOME point I need to get to the last Rite Aid to see if I can pick up the last 3 deodorants I have coupons for (expiring today) and whatever new weekly deals they might have. Though that means I need to actually sit down and formalize this week's RA plan. The good thing is, if I do that, I don't have to step foot in a Rite Aid for over a week! Which will be a nice change. Yeah so getting out to RA totally didn't happen. Instead I drank wine all day and was too sloshed to go anywhere, then too hungover. So I'm just going to sacrifice those last 3 coupons since I already broke even on the deal. The next 2 days off I have a TON of errands to run and stuff to accomplish.

Ok, back to SB. For today (and i warn you, I'm drinking from the beginning. I'm kinda carrying over from what I would have done after dinner yesterday if I hadn't fallen asleep, and also I'm giving myself permission to be a little bad after the last coupld of nonstop weeks.):

B: greek yogurt w/ jello powder, mixed raw veggies w/ refried beans/cheese, glass wine
The rest of the day (not really any meals/snacks, just munching throughout): a couple pieces beef lunchmeat, portion mashed sweet potatoes, 1/2 apple w/ PB, a few pieces turkey, a couple sugar-free chocolates, a bunch of "whole-grain" Goldfish crackers, a bag of SB-friendly popcorn and wine. Lots of wine. I think I've had about a bottle of wine over 8 hours or so

So after all that I was obviously sloshed and sleepy. Decided I would just go to bed, but I couldn't really sleep. So after laying down for a couple hours got up to take the dogs outside and could REALLY feel a hangover. UGH. Headache, dry mouth, slightly nauseous, sound sensitive. I hate hate hate this feeling. I have NO interest in the rest of the wine and at this point am mad at myself for buying the bottle and going at it all day. So stupid. The only saving grace is that I didn't fall totaly off the wagon food-choice-wise...just too much in general. It's just so ANNOYING that I gave into the wine and now feel awful AND managed to not accomplish anything today. Now I'm a little tired but can't fall asleep. So I'm up with my pounding headache, still can't really do anything, and will probably just sit and watch more TV til I can get to sleep. Down 2 of my 4 days off and haven't done anything. The next 2 are going to be very busy running errands and whatnot. Will definitely try harder to make good choices.

[DCLissa17]

Well my weekend was a wash. Did some good stuff with the business, but not nearly all that I should have got done. I finished off the other 1/2 bottle of wine over the rest of the weekend (ony 1-2 glasses at a time though!), ate a ton of candy on Tue/Wed, STILL didn't manage to take down the Christmas decorations (it's getting ridiculous), did no exercise, and my sleeping pattern was ALL. OVER. THE. PLACE.

ARGHAGH

I should really probably go back on P1 but I think if I try to do that I might just give up the whole thing. So I'm going to buckle down again and stick to a stricter P2. I'm going to do my exercises at least a couple times this week. I'm going to MAKE a mealplan. I will NOT buy any alcohol or candy. And I'm going to make agendas for this weekend so that I manage my sleep schedule and actually get some things accomplished.

I hope.

The saving grace is I am back at work with my time being controlled and my food choices limited. Today I was up at 6a, had a client at 9a, came home and didn't really do anything...ate and read until attempting a nap at 4...laid in bed "resting" til 5:30p when I got up and got ready for work tonight. So lots of coffee and it's going to be a lonnnggg morning.

"B" coffee, 1 slice WW toast w/ PB, 3/4c. raw broccoli/cauliflower
S: coffee
L: beef stirfry over brown rice/quinoa, green Thai salad, coffee
S: coffee, veggies w/ hummus
S2: cheesestick
D: depending on how tired I am by the time I get home in the morning either leftover tuna noodle casserole or pork chops, mashed cauli bake, sauteed carrots.

No exercises this am...will be way too overtired.

[DCLissa17]

Ok so this week is going pretty well so far re: SB. Work has been slow so got my grocery lists all together for the weekend and finished an online class that ends tomorrow. A couple bites of leftover Valentine's candy but nothing to stress about. Not gotten a lot of sleep though since I have a client to see in the mornings after work. Today:

B: chicken, pickles. String cheese, Mott's medley juice
S: coffee
L: beef stirfry over brown rice/quinoa, coffee
S: grapefruit, mixed nuts, coffee
S2: veggies w/ refried beans
D: pork chop, cauli bake, green beans
S: greek yogurt w/ jello powder
I'm so stupid! I didn't have the good yogurt. Instead I polished off the bag of goldfish, had some Valentine's chocolates, some triscuits, and a Reese's PB cups. Argh! Went to sleep really late and it was just so STUPID.

And bed!

[DCLissa17]

Ok after yesterday's complete breakdown at the end of work and after dinner, I was going to do better. Ok, mostly I was just going to survive my 3rd (and last) 13 hour shift of the week with only like 9 hours sleep in the last 96. Why? Because I'm STUPID and stuff my face with candy in the morning after dinner and keep reading my new book instead of GOING TO BED. Sometimes my inability to do the right and reasonable and logical and beneficial thing is truly astounding to me. You'd think immediate and direct negative consequences would have SOME affect on my behavior. But noooooo.

Obviously, I am beating myself up. It's even more frustrating since I did sooo well the first 6 weeks or so and now it's just this wretched slip into sugar-land. I'm doing pretty good about limiting starches to 2 (occ. 3) proper-sized portions/day and 1 fruit (sometimes 2 if I have fruit/veggie juice as my veggie for breakfast) a day and eating at least 4 1/2 cups veggies. But I have just lost it over sugary candy since Valentine's day....not huge amounts but more than the "sweet treat" allowance and I'm also getting carried away with PB and just mindless snacking...even if they are "approved" food choices.

Today:
B: coffee, HB egg, LC cheese wedge, snap peas
no snack and soo hungry by lunch! I think I maybe need to get in a mini-snack at least on workdays
L: pork chop, cheesy cauli bake, green beans (yum!), coffee
S: veggies w/ refried beans, 1/2 apple, coffee
cheats: a good-sized handful worth of conversation hearts, about 5 mini reese's PB cups
S2 (while running errands after work...which took WAY too long!): a full-size Reese's, a few nuts
D: 98%FF hot dog, 2 portions sweet potato fries (sooooo good and since I didn't actually have any other starches today I allowed myself 2 portions), green salad w/ spinach/jicama/radish/black olive/LF Feta, sparkling cranberry Vitamin Zero
S: Greek yogurt w/ jello powder

And seriously then I need to go to bed. I'm so beyond tired it's surreal. As in, I don't even feel tired. I'll probably sleep 24 hours again. I have SO MUCH to do this weekend seeing as how I've been slacking for months on things and again accomplished almost nothing last weekend. My first goal is to make a list of what I need to do and schedule when to do it. This should also help by scheduling sleeping and meals so hopefully I won't be all over the place. My only allowance to myself this weekend is to sleep today/tonight as much as my body needs until I'm waking naturally. Then I'll plan the rest of the weekend from whenever I get up!

Wish me luck and strength against spoiling myself.

[DCLissa17]

Yeah, so once again: FAILURE.

I did go to sleep fairly early on Saturday after lunch, got up briefly in the evening, went to bed and got up at 7am. With a pounding headache. Accomplished a whole lot of nada on Sunday. Did manage to take the dogs to the dog park for a little bit and put together some shopping lists and took a quick trip to Safeway/Rite Aid. We won't discuss the eating. And somewhat unfortunately, I had my sleep schedule completely switched to a day one.

Today I had a client at 9am, then went home and vegged on the couch for another couple of hours. Decided to get up and be productive...today! the Christmas decorations were coming down!...yeah no. Took the dogs to the park for a few, walked to the bank, then went over to my friend's to help her put together a shopping/coupon trip. I'm trying to teach her how to shop with coupons and its...challenging. Trip to the stores with her, got a few more things on my list. Unfortunately, still need to do another sweep on Tuesday before the sales week ends. Was a bit wired by the time I came home, which was too bad since I needed to get to sleep for a few hours at least since I worked tonight at 10p. Got to bed at 7p, got up at 8:30p. Yay. Another shift on basically no sleep. Gee is it any wonder why I can't find the energy to exercise and I'm having issues sticking to this diet? The list of things that I really should do each and every day gets longer and longer and the simple fact is that I CAN'T do it all. There's not enough time.

So today "during the day" (see above) I treated as one day. Tonight overnight at work I am treating as a separate day, food-wise. So during the day I did fairly ok with food. Can't remember it all so I'm not gonna list it. But it wasn't too bad. Far too many strawberries (come on, it's the first strawberries of the season! Berries were one of my undoings last time, whoo hoo summer)

Tonight:
B: slices ham, string cheese, carrot sticks, coffee
S: coffee, mixed nuts
L: chicken/rice/veggie soup, tea w/ splenda
S: veggies w/ refried beans + RF cheese, coffee
since I'm making a sweep of the grocery stores after work and will be getting home late taking a second snack
S2: yogurt w/ jello powder
D: probably more chicken/rice/veggie soup unless I feel inspired to make something else. I doubt I will be inspired.

Going to really really try to go to bed after dinner. Will probably have a serving of strawberries. If it's sunny/nice out, may take the dogs to the park. Otherwise sleep. I just have Tuesday night off before my workweek starts so plan to stay basically on an overnight schedule. Which means Tuesday night I'll probably be awake through the night which is GOOD because it means no shopping/friends and I have NO excuses not to make a mealplan, pay my bills, and for God's sake, take down the Christmas decorations already!

I'll let you know how it goes.

[DCLissa17]

Well stuck to the plan Monday night, had a helping of sweet potato fries with supper and some strawberries, but a totally clean day! Plus I did my P1 stretches at work. yay! Went to bed about 2pm-ish, got up with the dogs at 5, then back to bed and got up at 7a. Felt sooorrre. Either due to the stretches or sleeping too much, or most likely a combination of the two. Was irritated because I didn't think I'd sleep THAT long and now I ended up once again on a day schedule...the day my workweek starts. Argh!!! So.

Today I went to my client's at 9a, home by 11a. The plan was to take down the Christmas decorations. But I decided a little sleep before work would be more beneficial so I had a couple of vodka lemonades while watching a little TV and finishing my book....and eating like crazy. But not sleepy enough to sleep. So I've just been sitting on my recliner munching and watching TV. Again I am SO STUPID.

The tally for the day so far;
B: started out good: scrambled eggs w/ spinach, ham, snap peas
mini-snack the client made me: tea & strawberries
L: chicken rice veggie soup, sweet potato fries
various crap all afternoon: strawberries w/ PB/choc, 2 pouches fruit snacks, cheezits, more strawberries, bowl ice cream, raw veggies

I feel overfull and tired and so completely annoyed with myself. So the workweek starts now and again I managed to accomplish virtually nothing on my to-do list and have failed myself over and over again. Coupled with all this is the fact that sometime in the next 3 days I should be hearing if my application to take my specialty boards has been accepted. If it has YAYAY! and I have to start studying like crazy for the next 6 months. If not, well, sobbing, depression, and a fall off the wagon will be in short order. Keep your fingers crossed.

[DCLissa17]

So far so good at work...especially considering I "donated" a ton of 90% off Valentine's candy and fruit snacks (free from last week!) AND the one of the doctors is selling Girl Scout cookies and there is a table FULL of them! And just when I had managed to not order any! Hopefully they are gone soon...

I'm at the point of overloaded with various responsibilities in various areas of my life that I am so overwhelmed that even the IDEA of starting working any any of these things is too much, so I end up on the couch reading or watching TV "until I can convince myself". I've had this happen in the past and I can't remember how I got past it. I will though. I think I need to set a goal of accomplishing ONE thing each of my days off. Not something big or complicated or even high priority, just ONE thing that I say that I am going to do, and then do. Just to get the ball rolling and that satisfaction of keeping a promise to myself.

So, on that note:
Saturday: I will go to Rite Aid & Walgreen's
Sunday: I will take down the Christmas decorations
Monday: I will contact the accountant regarding my 2010 business tax return
Tuesday: I will get my hair cut

As for today:
B: HB egg, carrots, coffee
S: coffee
L: green salad, chicken rice veggie soup, coffee
S: coffee, veggies w/ hummus
S2: string cheese, cashews?
D: chicken quesadilla, beans, broccoli
S: greek yogurt w/ a few strawberries

And sleeeeep. Have my client after work and then another client before work tomorrow so I will get a max of 5 hours sleep. Which is obviously not really enough after being up for 28 hours, but not much to be done about it. Will be 4-6 hours sleep on Friday too. Will catch up on Saturday/Sunday though.

[play-doh]

Wow, Lissa, I feel sleepy just reading your journal. I don't know how you do it. It must be so hard to live backward to what our natural clocks tell us to do. Will you always be working the night shift at the animal hospital? It sounds like a really great job except for the hours.

I know what you mean about feeling overwhelmed with all that you need to do. I get a sort of paralysis from it too. I find that it helps to make a list of everything and then scratch off the things that can wait. I know, it's better to check off things as you do them, but I write a list that helps me procrastinate instead. It just makes it easier to focus on a single task at a time then start chipping away at it.

[DCLissa17]

The thing is, my body's clock actually runs backwards! So it's not the overnight hours that are a problem, it's my lack of control in keeping to the same schedule on my days off so that I don't end up with these nasty 24 hour days. Once I get moving with doing a task, its easier to keep going and do other things, so assigning simple stuff that gets me up, gets me dressed, and gets me out of the house is key.

For yesterday (friday night) I did pretty well. Had a very emotional day after work friday morning and before work friday night, there's just too much going on right now. Had a bit of breakdown on the phone to my mom on the drive to work. Thankfully work was pretty steady all night so not a lot of time to dwell on my world. Which was very nice!

One of my huge stressors this year and especially the last couple of weeks is that I am applying to become boarded as a specialist in emergency and critical care. My application was submitted the end of December and has been processing. The deadline for them to let us know if we would be able to sit for the exam was Friday. So every day that passed without word just drew the tension tighter and tighter amidst everythign else going on. And then.....NOTHING on Friday. No letter, no word. ARGHGHG! So frustrating! After getting home from Rite Aid and Walgreen's this afternoon (see! one day and one task down!), there it was....the telling letter. After I finally opened it, YAY, I made it! Now I have 6 months to study like crazy before sitting for the exam. Should be...interesting. But such a relief to have made it to this point. I applied 2 years ago and didn't get to sit for the exam, so it was especially nervewracking this time around.

Soooo......ate well last night. Now have been up all day too (course not tired now with all the excitement!). After getting the good news, I decided to break from the diet and indulge myself. (although the funny thing is that SB is so ingrained I'm still not going toooo crazy!) I had a mini carton of vanilla ice cream, the last of my strawberries dipped in chocolate, a 2nd helping of tuna alfredo, and am going out now to buy a bottle of vodka for cocktails!

Friday:
B: scrambled egg w/ spinach + ham (dropped on floor on my way out the door), carrots, coffee
S: coffee, one reese cup
L: chef salad w/ beef, healthy choice veggie soup, coffee
S: greek yogurt w/ jello powder, triscuits w/ LC cheese
D: tuna alfredo casserole, brussel sprouts
S: strawberries w/ choc/PB sauce, strawberry lemonade vitamin zero

And then I went out shopping
1/2 of snickers PB squared, 0.75oz almonds

And then I got my acceptance letter!
see above

Not sure what will happen the rest of the night.....I am going to just enjoy some cocktails and see where the munching leads me. I'll try to balance the starch/sugar indulgences with some healthy veggie and yogurt-type ones.

I have an appointment monday afternoon to have the carpets cleaned. Which is good for many reasons, not the least of which is that I will HAVE to have the Christmas decorations down before then! Deadlines are good for me!

It WILL be looking up from here, I know it.

[play-doh]

That's exciting news! Congratulations!!!

[DCLissa17]

Thanks play-doh!

I know, long time no posting! Long weekend and this week at work has been crazy busy! My dog has been making my life hell with having accidents in the house and I have NOT been getting enough sleep. So, the updates:

* I did take down the Christmas decorations! Phew! And rearranged the living room so now I'm looking outside when sitting in the recliner
* I also got the carpets cleaned and my hair cut and had lunch with a friend and dinner with another friend
* I drank a bottle of vodka between Saturday and Tuesday
* I did NOT make a mealplan
* My back has been killing me and despite a chiro appt on Wed and a massage on Fri, it is STILL killing me
* Exercise - HAHHAHAH
* Sleep - WAH HA HA

So....as for SB and me. I have decided to go ahead and officially move on to Phase 3. I have been cheating regularly with sugar treats for a few weeks and my options were either to continue as is on P2 and feel guilty and frustrated with myself about it, do P1 again and try to be completely rigid, or move to P3 and accept the indulgences and continue otherwise maintaining this healthy WOE. I have enough stressors in my life already without adding struggling to never cheat and guilt over it, so P3 it is! I am actually really relieved to have made this decision. I feel as though I have successfully transitioned into the SB WOE regarding lots of veggies, portion control of whole grains & fruits, etc. All of that I have been doing well with, it's just the giving up of all the sugar stuff. So I'm going to try moving to P3 and sticking to the SB principles and see how it goes. If I start to get out of control with starches/sugars/portions again, then I'll cycle back to P1/P2 to remind myself.

This week has been really rough with sleep, so I've just not worried too much about other things ( like exercise). Wed I had a chiro appt in the afternoon and then work...so was basically up all day/night, had a client appt in the morning after work, then there was an accident on the freeway and it took forever to get home, then there were accidents on my carpet that took forever to clean up, and then the dog was making me crazy so I couldn't sleep. Got 1 and a half hours sleep on Thursday. Work that night was crazy! Had a massage Friday morning after work, got 5 hours sleep on Friday. Now working, have to stop at Rite Aid on the way home in the morning. Will get about 5 hours sleep again Saturday, then work. Then a decent 8 hours sleep, then work on Sunday night. Then my dog has a vet appt with a behaviorist and I have a staff meeting on Monday morning.

So basically I have Tuesday off this next week. It will suck.

Just for fun, today:
B: greek yogurt, chicken, carrots, coffee
S: coffee
L: parmesan tilapia, carrots, green beans, coffee
S: coffee, raw veggies
S: cheese stick
D: chili, spinach salad

[play-doh]

I'm glad to see you back, Lissa! And I think your new plan sounds good. I remember reading in the SBD book that one of the dr.'s patients agreed to do the plan but he insisted that he have his ice cream every night. So, yeah, the point is that we make positive changes and become aware of what we're eating. Sounds like you've been meeting that goal. Phase 3 and onward for you! Yay!