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[JeffInJax]

-Weekly poke poke- Ohhh judddiiiiiiiiiiii

[jhderm]

Hi everyone,

THank you for keeping me on the front page w the pokes. I guess I am back. Just had so much stress that I ate too much...then, didn't feel like swimming because felt too fat to want to get into a bathing suit....slowly dropped all exercise and due to the anxiety upped the food. So GUESS what happened?....Yes. Of course. Need I spell it out?....

Started back w trainer yesterday, ordered me back on the dreadmill, and this morning I did 25 minutes and felt so psyched, came back here for support. I really missed you all. It's been the most stressful year of my life since divorce. Finally FIRED the contractor!!! What an emotional relief! Just felt angry and angry at him. Then, my receptionist quit. Now, I have to also find a new office manager, as mine is about to look for a CEO job w a fortune 500 company- thinks they are out there waiting for her. So the ground is shaking, but I am still standing and back to walking.

Jeff, re spending too much time on the forum, I think that's the biggest secret to support and losing wt, the community, the friendships, the reaching out and empathizing w each other. So I think there is no "too much", only too little, which then gives way to a slip sooner or later.

Ona Mi, Chris, Lisa, Maureen- so glad you liked the clips! Please "like" Michael on FB. He now has a second song on his page, a real hit song I think, here is the link
http://www.facebook.com/people/Michael- ... 1906926854
If you follow it to soundcloud of "Wreck Like Me", the lyrics are also posted there.

Will try to catch up w all of you slowly.

Veronica, I will try that calorie tracker. I have been drinking smoothies w pineapples, I suspect it's too many calories!!!! I am sure no matter which diet, calories do count to some degree.

So thank you all for hanging w me, I am back. Please hold me accountable. Need to review the diet to get back on track.

Love you all! Really!

Judi

PS, managed to poke around a little and joined the Jeff challenge. Miss you guys so much!

[happymo4]

Wow Judi.....you have had soooo much going on. Remember that every new beginning starts with another beginning's end. You need to look at this fall as a new fresh beginning with lots of possibilities. I know that we can eat right and exercise and stay positive if we keep in touch. I am so glad that you are back. I am especially glad that you found the strength to get rid of Mr. Wrong. He was fun in the beginning then was toxic to you. Maybe you will find some amazing new office manager that is competent and fun to be with, you never know. I hate change but lots of times, it ends up to work out for the better. I am praying for good things to come for you. That is so awesome that you got back on your dreadmill yesterday! Go You! We can do this! Keep in touch! (Hugs to you )
Maureen

[Beaching It]

I'm glad to see you back Judi. Big HUG from me!!! I was struggling on here for a while and my weight was going up. I was questioning if I was eating enough, or too much... seemed to be totally out there. You said to me about 1200 calories. Since then I've been using a tracking program and really watching how much I'm taking in, and guess what?? I was eating WAY too much!! So, now I've scaled it back and the weight is leaving... yay!!! Thank you for that!!!

[Chris55]

Hi, Judi! Nice to see you back - been thinking about you and wondering how you were doing. Very very glad you ditched the sleaze - let him find some young hottie if that's what he wants. Big shudder!!!!

Glad to see you trying to get back on track. It's always a struggle. I'm fighting my own demons, have gained some weight back, and am now working with fabulous people who are trying to make me fat. Candy, donuts, cake, pie - every day!! I'm trying to be strong, but it's wearing me down. I also have little time to exercise.

You'll be able to find a new receptionist and office manager, no problem. There are so many people looking for work it's pitiful. All of the people I'm working with are looking for permanent work, are all very well qualified, but the jobs are not out there, so we're all working for peanuts but at least doing something worthwhile. I'm fundraising for United Way, very happy with the job, not happy with the money and the fact that it ends in early November. Based on what I've seen here there are plenty of qualified people willing to work so you should have your choice of people. Too bad you're so far away - I'd come work for you in a second And I'd guard the door against creepy middle-aged guys

Hang in there - we're all with ya!

Just read your post on my journal. I'm so glad Michael is loving LaGuardia! My son just started school at New Paltz - lots of LaG kids there. DD is off in Australia trying to make dance connections. Hugs to you, Judi!

[happymo4]

Hi Judi! Come back! Come Back! I miss talking to you! It is October 1st, a great day to start back! We can do it! Remember that if you exercise and eat right, your life will feel more relaxed and peaceful......everything will fall into place the way it should. Come back.......
Maureen

[masm2]

Hi Judi,

You don't know this-but you posted in my journal on my birthday! (9/20) I did read it that day, but I was not up to posting a reply. My mom passed away on 9/9 and her funeral was 9/16. On the 20th I was staying with DD in her apartment at school. I wanted to spend my birthday with her...we went to dinner and had cupcakes late at night with one of her best friends-a girl I have known since she was in 3rd grade.

I ended up around 10 pounds heavier now than I was in June. I am doing a Phase 1 right now just to get my metabolism back in check...and to get back into my clothes! It will take a while, but I am ready to take care of myself for a change. I even went in and had my hair colored for the first time in about 3 years! I never minded my grey hair, but it did age me.

I listened to your son's first song-it was really too emotional for me at the time. It was beautiful, but I felt a bit sad, because I was sad already. I have not listened to the second song yet-but I will one of these days. I am amazed at his talent and I am so happy that he is in a school for the arts.

I hope that you are able to get back on the message boards sometime soon. I am ready to get back to posting as often as I can.

Take care,
Mary Ann

[Beaching It]

Hey Judi, just checking on on you. Hope you are doing well.

[jhderm]

Hi Friends,

I am sorry to say, my weight is not doing well. I have been under tons of stress the entire last year, and the food was the only place to take it out. Now, I show about an extra 10lbs for it, and can't stand looking in the mirror, and my clothes are feeling too tight. Hate it. Still, every morning I decide to eat the right things, and every night and especially every weekend I blow it. Then, I can't stand myself, make a new pledge, get to feel better, and that night...yes. You guessed. I feel like I am trying to find a corner on a circle, trying to pick a place to break this bad streak. I realize it's all mental, and I feel as helpless as a baby. It's always easier to help others than oneself, at least for me. So I am praying and struggling to find the state of mind to pick up the discipline and restrart. I was even considering WW because they have groups, and I think being in contact w others is very important. And also this brings me back to all of you.

MaryAnn, I am very sorry about your mother. I am sure though that it's better for her and also for you. You did a wonderful and loving thing the way you took care of her, and that will stay w you forever. What we give is really ours to keep, if that makes sense. Now, focus on the living, including yourself, and let's see a picture w the new hair color! I am in the same boat of the plus 10lbs, and feel awful. Can use your input re finding the corner on a circle (read above).

Lisa, Chris, Maureen, and JEFF, yes you too, dude- I am glad you are still here and here for me. I just have to find a way to get my head straight.

Be looking at your jrnls for updates on all of you.

PS, I finally decided to throw out the last orchid plant for the sleeze ball contractor. It finally started to not do well, and I thought it was symbolic to get rid of it. Felt good, actually.
J
udi

[JeffInJax]

Hey Judi,

Just figured id drop you a quick line or two, it can be really rough for sure. My mom recently quit smoking and she said something that makes a lot of sense. Its easier to quit quitting cigarettes then it is to keep trying. Which is absolutely true, in our terms giving up on each weekend is the easy way out and you probably do it to help cope with the stress you're feeling. Each and every one of us have those nights of self doubt where we want to dig into something unhealthy and just get away. Theres been several times ive contemplated doing so, you know what works for me? I ask myself a question. Do i really want to sit here and eat this, throwing away all the hard work ive done over the past weeks and months? The answer is always the same, the icecream or whatever it may be goes directly into the trash. I rarely ever cheat because i know if i get into the habit of quitting eating healthy for a day or two its just going to get worse. I apologize if im too blunt, but honestly what i would do is sit down one evening if you can and tell yourself repeatedly to at least eat healthy for 2 whole weeks, and then once thats done, do it again. After a little while you dont have to tell yourself it anymore. Of course there are going to be stressful situations where you look for comfort in food. Instead, go on the "Dreadmill" i believe you used to call it. Even though its a workout, i always feel relaxed and like my day isnt quite as bad once i get pumped up. My quick line or two turned into a lecture and i apologize, but if you need anything or just need to talk, me and all the others are here for ya -Hug-

[happymo4]

OH Honey!!!! We are here for you! I am so sad for you that you are having such a rough time. It really stinks. I love that you threw the stupid orchid away. Good for you. We all have been in that place where you are at night and who cares what you eat because you so miserable and then somehow, you wake up one day a little stronger for whatever reason and you do well that day. I hope that day come soon. I continue to be up and down but right now, my good days are outnumbering my bad days and it is making a slow difference. I have stopped punishing myself when I cheat and decide oh well, there is a next meal that I can do better. Can you read at night? Sometime If I get into a book, time flies and I won't eat. Also, definitely get on the treadmill at night with the intention of only 10 minutes and I am sure you will end up on it for longer amounts of time. You can do it. Remember that you can get rid of the stress of the guilt of not eating well and your whole life will seem a little more calm and easier in general. Then you can have your "cheat" without guilt. You can do it Judi! Have a good week and try to have 4 out of 7 good days and get on the treadmill at least 4 times. Then try to have 5 out of 7 and you will start to see a difference in how you feel. Keep in touch. HUGS!!!!
Maureen

[Chris55]

Hi, Judi! I'm struggling right here with you to get back on program. Working in an office where the major food group is sugar is really hard - I've definitely gained and do not want to get on the scale again. Hoping to get some inspiration by reading journals - think I need to do that every day again.

Hope you're making it through the weekend OK!! Hang in there - so glad you threw out the orchid!

[masm2]

Hey Judi,

You wanted to find a corner on your circle...how about a triangle? It looks like you, Chris and myself are in the same spot. We have all drifted away from this forum and have all drifted off course a bit. I went to TN last week and spent two days trying to clean my mom's house. All things considered it was not in too bad of shape. So now I hope I am home until January. I guess it was too ambitious of me to try and get back on track when I was travelling with DH and DS.

Like you-I start the day with the intention of eating right all day long and I have been falling apart at night. Not because I am stressed, but because I am feeling happy and enjoying myself (pizza and beer is really good) Then I am ticked off in the morning when my pants are too tight. So today once again I am trying to eat right. I think I really have to just eat PII. I don't have cravings so I just need to get back to my old menus that have always worked for me. It will take time-it took time to put those pounds back on and it will take awhile for them to go away.

I promise to visit and post every day-are you with me?

Mary Ann

[masm2]

Hey Judi,

Just popping back in to your journal to keep it warm. I am feeling pretty much like my old self again and I am having a good week so staying on track. I don't really know much about WW but if you think it will help you-then do it. Just stay here for the friendships!

Take care-
Mary Ann

[jhderm]

Wow it's been so long, I have to bump myself up!!!! BUMP!
Back on track again, using every possible way I can think of, including counting my calories and staying away from carbs. Just the way that works for me best.
It was good to see so many friends still here...will keep coming back now that I have been reminded by a notification of a post! (not to say that I have forgotten about all of you, not at all, in fact have been missing you, just was in no shape to do what it takes. Now trying anew. )
My love to all!
Judi