Sharley's (insert catchy journal title here)

[jhderm]

Hi Sharley-
So sorry for disappearing for a few days. Simply too much to do all the time, then I am beat.
It's 6AM in NY and probably the only chance to take a minute to say hi.
I hear the the writer in you. No question. I have many people I know in the creative fields, most of us have a dayjob to survive, but it's good for the soul to do what you need to feed it. Nothing to hold back there . I was recently talked into starting to write an autobiography, and although I stopped bec of the difficulty of meeting twice a week and reading others' work and writing in btw, which I had not enough time for, I really enjoyed the process. I did it same as now- here and there, bits and pieces, but still, they made sense once put together. I think maybe you can start small, just whenever you can, get into a groove, do a little every day, and before you know it, you will have a body of work together....
Music to medicine wasn't easy. A different world, different joys, priorities, different people with different needs. I come from a family of physicians but never wanted to pursue it. Did it like the rest of us, to pay the bills, except I lucked into something I like a lot, since my best talent is connecting with people and finding out what makes them tick. I cost me a lot, years of surviving by the skin of my teeth, a stanger in a strange land, with people younger than me who came from a science background, not music; survived being put down on the ladder bec of my newbie status (you know, the good old ranking); survived being told what to do by fools without killing them or myself; a long story. Finally, I made it through, and now, I have my freedom back and still miss music a lot. I get to play a little and also guide my son, who is a prodigy, writes beautiful music and sings and hopefully will only know the happy aspects of the "biz".
I am still walking the beach, glad to see you are too. Next challenge brunch hosted by me for 16 people - my dad's family, 4 old aunts, some cousins and some of their kids. Bagels, cream cheese, the works. So I am still staying in P1 except for the wine, easier to survive this without temptation. Thanks for the wine tip, BevvBevv, it's a fruit, it's liquid so it has water, how can it be bad
Any tips for the brunch survival, of course, are much appreciated!!!!! I already decided that I will give away the leftovers, out of sight, out of mouth...
I dropped another 1 or a little more last week, I am glad you talked me out of resetting the goal lower, it will take persistence to reach the first one! Haven't even had time to readjust the ticker yet, but I will. As Red said, celebrate your victories!
Tell me how things are going there for you!
judi

[lilblondedancr1]

Hey lady!

I know what you mean about feeling blah. It must be the change of the seasons! I HATE that is gets dark about 5 o'clock, though the sun rising earlier in the day right now does help me get out of bed in the morning.

Anything fun planned for the weekend?

[Cambie]

Happy Friday Sharley! Hope you are feeling better today. Soak up any sunshine you can get to help elevate your mood. They say 10 minutes of sun on you skin will help. I do it everyday that is sunny and warm enough to bare my arms.

Thanks for stopping by my journal and posting, you made me smile! Also shocked me regarding the size of your household.

Be well,
Cambie

[SharleyBloom]

So, thought maybe we dodged the H1N1 bullet, but DGD just became ill. Courtney asked me what I was doing for the weekend. Apparently being a nurse! LOL! I am bleaching the whole house this afternoon and I'm not letting ANYONE near her but me (since I'm already contaminated!) Poor baby. (her, not me! )

So, if I'm not around here all that much, don't worry about me. DD has promised to stick me to the SB plan and I'm just a little busy!

Hope you all have something fun to do this weekend!

[jhderm]

Dear Michelle-
OUCH. Anyway, H1N1 is just another kind of flu, I don't think worse in any way than the "regular" flu. Most important, if you are sharing airspace, you should wear a mask (and other household members who are in the same room with her) to protect yourselves, as the virus is largely airborne. Also wash your hands a lot ( I prefer regular soap and water to the fancy stuff in bottles, but whatever you like is good). Tylenol around the clock ( help keep the fever down, relieves aches and pains) and lots of fluids. This is it. Called in the lingo "supportive care". There are also antivirals like Tamiflu available with a prescription. Let me know if you need anything.....
judi

[SharleyBloom]

Hi Judi,

Yep, all those things done and being done. Thanks! I'm a big fan of letting your body heal itself and natural antibodies. Not so big on squirt antibacterials. Love soap and water. I don't really care if it's swine flu, seasonal flu, or bat flu, they're really all the same to me regardless of the hype in the media. I just know my life will be better if the entire family is not passing this around. The little boy I babysit, his entire family have been down with H1N1 for the past 10 days. They're not allowed here! LOL! I think one of his sisters hung out with my DGD and so it begins. I'm not a clean nut. I firmly believe that kids getting a little dirty and cleaned with soap and water is GOOD for them. But, now that it's here, I'll do what I can to contain it.

I thought I may not have time to be on here, but I'm probably going to need the support more then ever to maintain my sanity! LOL! But, I'm not fretting. Not running to the doctor. Just letting things run their course and trying to walk the beach!

I am so glad to see you back!

Oh, I'm pretty good at brunches! (I cater a wedding now and then just for fun) I threw one as my daughter's rehearsal "dinner". It was delightful! I began with Mamosa's (orangejuice and champaign!) and punch (white grape juice and 7up), coffee, iced tea and water. That's plenty for drinks. I love egg casserole (strata), chicken salad (can be SB friendly!) and can be served on little rye cocktail bread , place a sprig of parsley on top, they'll think you went all out because they're so pretty! If you want more meat, take some smokie links and roll them up in crescent rolls.. pigs in a blanket. Seems kind of kid-like but when you put it with the other things, they'll be perfect. (you'll have to skip these, but trust me, there won't be any left to give away) Fresh fruit, I make boats out of fresh pineapple, orange slices are GREAT for brunches. Put a few frozen strawberries in the blender with some splenda and use it as a drizzle over the other fruit to make it look special. You can also set out a brick of cream cheese (can shape like a ball) and drizzle strawberry stuff over the top of it. Replace bagels with bagel chips to drag through it. Make a jello salad (sf of course, they'll never know!) A family favorite is lime jello with cottage cheese and pineapple (crushed, drained) folded in as it hardens. You can put this in an 8 1/2x11 pan and cut it into squares. Serve on a single lettuce leaf on a plate and it looks FANCY and adult! You can also make a red jello with fruit for kids if need be. Another family fav... spread cream cheese on platter, top with cocktail sauce, sprinkle with shredded crab or salad shrimp or both (can be immitation!) and serve with triscuits. They drag the crackers through the dip. See? 98% of that is SB friendly. Don't be giving away your leftovers, silly! When is your brunch and let me know if you need more ideas and recipes. Happy to help! Don't forget, the devil is in the details. Buy some of those paper doilies... lay them around. Under your table cloth on the food table, put a stack of a few books here and their to give your food dishes some height. It will make ALL the difference inthe world. Don't forget some pretty fresh flowers. Even cheapies are pretty! I tie everything up in ribbon. You can get it cheap at Michaels.

Hope this helps. By the way, I'd be interested in reading some of your writings if you're willing to share!

[bonnie is back]

hey sharley i sent you a post on manzanita journal,,sorry; you can read it on there,,,,

[jhderm]

Michelle, what a magician you are, and you make it sound easy! I just got home from work, and will try to use some of your wonderful ideas. The brunch is tomorrow at 1PM, so I will have to resort to some easy stuff, but will decorate as you suggested and make it look nice, with flowers. Love the book idea under the dishes!
I will find my writing file. I also have written some poetry, who knows how good or bad it is, but it is what it is, and if you like, I will send you some. When I am ready, I will PM you and give me a private email to send it to.
Hang in there, try to not catch the flu, you are doing all the right things, so not much I can add except that I hope you take care of yourself as well, not only of others. I know this syndrome well. Gotta make sure someone thinks of you too, and if all else fails, you think of you!
You asked what I do for me- sometimes, when my son goes to his dad, I just crash and rest....Although recently I have decided that I can't just stay home and disconnect, so I started meeting some friends, went to a bday party of someone (I was the "invisible woman, over 50...and all the available visible men would have been better off being very invisible. What misery). It's hard to have a social life when you put a priority on being around for a child, who doesn't see you until 7PM most days. I feel guilty about that as it is.
I have started slowly to exercise again, little bit of weights, little aerobic, I really don't love it but it makes me feel good that I overcame my inertia and moved my body a bit. I am a summer person, like to swim, be outdoors when it's warm, would prefer to hybernate in the winter if I could...
SB is giving me a lot of satisfaction, I felt my life was out of control for quite some time, and SB makes me feel like I can take charge and stick to what I decide. It's a daily struggle, but let me tell you, I really look forward to reading your posts and all your funny and smart advise. I hope that I can be the same for you, a source of strenght if you need it. You sure got your hands full, and you are doing it and doing it in good spirits! You got my admiration
Take care, I will be checking in to see what you are up to. You are a popular one, I see, it's good, lots of friends=lots of support.
Have an easy weekend with DGD, remember the Tylenol and lots of fluids, and sleep sleep sleep. Oh and home made chicken soup!
Judi

[SharleyBloom]

Ah Judi, you are truly a blessing to me. I really appreicate you. I am excited for your luncheon and I can't wait to hear the details! It will all be wonderful, just wait and see!

I can totally relate to the parental guilt that comes with divorce. It's a pity that our young ones have to pay the price for our poor decisions. I will say though, I am never a big believer in throwing "items" at kids to ease guilt. The best thing, I've found, is to create memories that will last a lifetime. They don't have to cost anything and can be done between 7-9pm. I'm betting your son doesn't care when you get home, just that you DO get home and spend time with him when you're there. Life for my kids has been far from perfect and they've had to sacrifice (I had a wierd work schedule so they couldn't do after school activities like sports!) but they seemed to have learned what is important.... that life doesn't always seem easy, that it's how you survive that counts, it's how you treat people that matters, compassion, understanding, the ability to really listen to someone, wanting to make the world a better place and to leave things better than how you found them. You can't buy that stuff, and it's not all that time sensitive, those lessons can be learned any old time of the day. Teach your son to cook, to do his laundry, to look around and do things that need doing without being asked. Train him to be a great husband. Teach him to write and sing and dance and that it's okay to cry. Teach him how to touch a baby and how to hug and feel comfortable in his skin. Teach him that wild flowers that he picks have more value than roses that he buys. Teach him how to apologize properly to a woman. Teach him manners and how to hold his head high. Teach him how to shop and how to pay for things. Basically, you don't have time for guilt. You're going to be busy.

I say all these things because my son is in college and just now had to learn about a bank account. My daughter was 16 the first time I made her go in the post office to buy stamps and was terrified because she'd never done it before. In short, as my children got older I saw the holes in their at home education. I wish someone had made a list for me.

People who are not single moms do not realize that the "social life" has little appeal especially when time is a commodity. To find yourself at a gathering or an event and still feel alone in a crowd of people. Who can explain that? To have to go to a party/dinner/drinks and pretend I'm okay and having fun and like everyone else is such an effort! I can worry about not being alone in the end after the children are gone. I know this sounds a bit preachy, and it may be, but nobody still seems to get that about me. Maybe part of this is me just venting a bit. But I wanted you to know that I understand all about parental guilt.

Today I was forced off plan, go figure. Tomorrow I'll be back on. Please hold me accountable to post my menus please. I hate doing it. Most days I can barely remember what I've eaten by the time I have to post it.

I can't wait to read your stuff. I don't have any of my old stuff because it was destroyed in a divorce. But, if you send me something, I'll try to match you piece for piece! Enjoy your brunch! Woot woot!

[kathynsm]

Hey Sharley!!! I'm back! I've been reading through your journal and spotted the "I"m a writer" post. I knew that!!! The first time or second time that you posted on my journal (I think it was the one that you replied to me about my dreams) I thought to myself ------Lord, that girl needs to be writing for a living!! Wow!

I have been doing terrible lately on sb. But I am trying to incorporate alot of sb throughout the day. Now that all Halloween candy is gone I should be back on track!!!! I'm afraid of getting on the scale because of what they do to me mentally. It's like whatever the number ---it sets me up for a fall! I'm not living by the numbers--------My life is not that simple---paint by numbers-------So I'm going to brush myself off and do the best I can. I hope you have a great weekend!

[bonnie is back]

thank you sharley, i needed that sermon, we all do ,you are so right . i am not going to be hung up on that scale, i am eating a lot better. and i feel so good.with just that 12 lbs,gone. my daughter is off drugs ,she is starting to open up and tell us what all her husband done to her ,i know that god had to be watching over her. he was so evil. i just cry to think what she went through. she said she would do drugs so bad that she would pass out kind of in and out,,and she would wake up and he would be standing over her just looking at her. she said he would throw her on the floor and put his big hand over her mouth until she could not breath and she thought she was going to die, but she was so affraid to leave him.
we know now that he was trying to kill her ,he was so posesive of her ,he would rather see her dead.....so compared to what she went through ,i feel like i have no problem, i just need to tell someone this ,we never know wjhat goes on in our children's homes.i knew some but did not know it was that bad, she is doing so much better and looks so good now thank god. please keep praying for her, and anyone that reads this,,,,,thank you all.....
sharley keep posting me i love it. you make my day and everyone ,you to kathy. love to all of you....... bonnielou

[cheshirecat]

Hi Sharley!
Wow, your journal is a busy place! Lots of reading to do
Glad to hear you are finding the beach a good place to be, how is that 'volleyball' coming on?
Sorry to hear your dgd is unwell, that flu is getting everywhere! My bro's girlf came down with it last week but seems to be making a good recovery, sending lots of healing thoughts to your family

[jhderm]

Hi Sharley-
Well, the party went just fine. On Fri, before work, I ordered some bagels and diff types of cream cheese; dashed to the supermarket to get soft drinks and some stuff; Fri night, after a short crash, I managed to prepare the table, put out the plates etc (harder than it sounds...) and Sat morning, I ran to Costco to buy lox and nuts and cheese etc. I got back just in time to prepare everything, and of COURSE, one of my aunts came 1/ hour early, and watched as I put the final items on plates in a mad dash. I am very proud that I ate none of the "bad" stuff, only some nuts, and fat free tuna salad with veggies. At the end, I gave away all the leftovers that I thought would tempt me. After ALL of this, I was invited to someone else's party that night, so I went, and managed to avoid most of the buffet except for some turkey slices. I must say, I felt like I walked through a mine field and made it in one piece. Thank you for all your advise, I did a little decorating, someone brought the flowers, so it all looked nice and my 4 aunts, all over 80 yrs, 4 cousins and some of their kids, my son and I all had a good time and sort of touched the roots.
Today, I am simply pooped, BUT, I am here to see how you and your dgd are doing. And yes, I am looking for that food plan you mentioned Hope you are hanging in there, it's hard to do as much as you seem to, but at least, remember to take care of yourself and spend a moment here to say hi and check in. I am keeping myself strong with your help, believe me! I know that if you keep it up, so should I, it makes me feel acountible and so are you, my dear!
I was touched by what you said about raising my son, we are in complete agreement. He is a sweet, loving child, and I just try to keep him that way and direct him a little. I am a very lucky mother, I guess. As you said, it's all about giving values, and just loving them and supporting them when they question life and have issues coming up. I try to not be too over protective, but it's hard with an only child in NYC. He said I will probably keep his babysitter unti he is 65 ( I probably won't be around by then, but I may prepay the babysitter, GOOD idea! ) but this is a crazy place and one must be careful.
I am waiting to hear back from you! Hope you still adhering to the beach!
jh

[SharleyBloom]

Hi Judi!

So glad to hear the details of your party! Sounds like a good time had by all. I can't imagine that four women over 80 don't have some interesting sound bites, eh? Parties are all well and good, but it really is all about the people. One year for Easter I just looked at the kids, called the other kids that weren't home and we all met at Pizza Hut for Easter Dinner. We had a blast and it was one of the best ever.

Wow, NYC? You are so much braver than I am. I get the shakes when I walk downtown in Chicago when we pass through. I'd be a terrified little baby crying for my mommy to even wander into NYC. I bet it's great if you know someone who lives there though. I probably watch too much tv! LOL! I don't blame you a bit about being over protective. I was too with my boy. I can't really explain it. You can always send him to the country to live with me! LOL

Below is today's SB fun. It wouldn't hurt my feelings to see your menu posted here as well, ya know? I'm starting to do more measuring regarding my portion sizes. Friday evening and all day Saturday was a SB bust for sure. More on that later. DGD was only sick for a day, must have been something she ate (not here of course!) Looks like you did pretty well for yourself dodging sugar bullets this weekend. I am very proud of you! Feeling any different?

B: Omelet stuffed with turkey sausage, onion, red sweet peppers, orange peppers, lf cheese, coffee, orange juice
MS: Cocoa Almonds (OMG these are to DIE for!)
L: Large salad with asst greens, grape tomatoes, diced apple, about 5 raisins, cucumber slices, lf cheese, cucumber ranch dressing and a leftover hamburger patty.
AS: I went shopping and forgot
D: Beef shish ka bobs with lean beef, green pepper, red pepper, onion, grape tomatoes ~ green beans, 1/2 C basmati rice, milk
ES: Coffee laced with amaretto and splenda! and probably a NSA fudgecicle later.

[SharleyBloom]

Random thoughts as I totally blew my SB diet.

Setting: Parkinglot at Long John Silvers
Meal: Special on the sign I tried to pass... Fish, Chicken, Shrimp Dinner.

Thoughts as they popped into my head.

God, what am I doing ~ this is what happens when I'm in a new town and can't find the Taco Bell so I can get a side of beans and cheese and diet mountain dew ~ they forgot my malt vinegar? ~ Bastards! ~ well, I suppose without the vinegar I'll at least get the full punch of flavors that I'm having WHILE I CHEAT ~ mmmm this is pretty good shrimp ~ I shouldn't be doing this ~ at least I'm throwing myself on the knife and not going to the grocery store and spending more money because I'm hungry ~ this fish is pretty okay ~ I'm gonna have to post something about this ~ that sucks ~ I'm blaming food network ~ I wonder why they have to have the same theme on all the shows on the same day ~ I don't know why that fish and fries looked so good on all three of those shows ~ that kid doesn't have a shirt on ~ wonder where his mother is ~ those kids look like they're having fun ~ hhmm which piece of meat should I end my meal on ~ what do I want to taste last ~ nope, the fries are not nearly as good as I imagined they might be ~ yep, I'm okay not eating very many of these ~ I wonder if that makes this cheating better ~ where am I going to hide this garbage so my DD can't see it ~ will I ever tell her? ~ Nope. ~ I feel yucky already ~ this is so greasy ~ I wonder if I can at least count the cole slaw as a veggie ~ Ha!~

Lesson: If you have to have this kind of conversation with yourself while you're eating, you damn sure are NOT SB compliant. Get it together!