Play-doh's Journal

[happymo4]

Yay!!!!!! You should be so proud of yourself!!! You have finally figured out what works for you and I know you must feel amazingly healthy and strong. Just wait until the summer when you get more time to exercise. You are going to feel even better then! I am so glad that I came back here for motivation because I know that other people are working hard to maintain a healthy WOE and results happen if we are patient and stick with it. Thank you for motivated me and being so kind to stop in my journal. I am having a lot of stress lately and using food for coping but I am starting to do better the last few days. You know what I love about your posts is that you said you had some wine and even an ice cream sundae but you still lost. That show that if we do really well almost the entire time, the very occasional treat will be ok. I hope you have a wonderful week and enjoy wearing your skinny clothes!!
Maureen

[play-doh]

Slowly but surely, the pounds are coming off. And while I do sometimes eat sugary foods, chips, or drink some wine, I always come back to the plants. I do love my veggies and most of the time a big green salad with some roasted veggies, a little fruit, and a sprinkling of nuts is more delicious than ice cream and cake.

For Mothers Day my kiddos bought me a really nice juicer. It has been fun experimenting with different concoctions and I like how quick and easy it is to grab a massive dose of nutrition. I've been reading about a lot of folks doing juice fasts for weeks, or even months at a time. I'm not sure if something that drastic is necessary for me right now, but I'm intrigued by the way folks describe the spiritual growth that happens during those weeks. Hmm.

Oh, and I've given up coffee!!!! I'm caffeine free! For the past twenty years I've chugged about two strong cups of coffee every morning but I just wanted to try giving it up to see if it made a difference in curbing my hunger. It's only been six days, so I'm not sure yet. I miss the routine and I do love the taste and the jolt. I'll try this for a month or so and then decide if it's worth giving up. Maybe I'll go back to it occasionally, we'll see.

School's out, vacation is on, and I'm still not exercising. I've been walking places instead of taking the car, but I haven't grabbed the dumbbells or gone for a jog yet. I will though.

Today's weight: 136.

[play-doh]

I had to shop for an outfit for a big family gathering next week and, I'm pleased to say, I didn't hate what I saw in the mirror. Didn't love it either, but gosh, I think I'm always going to be really hard on myself. I am right now wearing a pair of shorts that I bought a year ago and they were way too small then. I'm not sure why I didn't take them back to the store for a refund, maybe because they're cute and I was hopeful. Well, they fit now! I'm glad I saved them. They were like a nice little reward just sitting there in my closet.

So, several days ago my eating got completely out of control. My daughter made chocolate chip cookies and I just could not function for thinking about them. I don't usually have such a hard time but that day, and the next, I could not say no. Anyway, I got back on track and I don't think any real harm was done, but I wish I knew what made me do that and how I can stop it.

I'm a little nervous about going to my mom's for a whole week. My younger daughter and I leave on Wednesday and I'm afraid there simply won't be enough vegetables around to sustain me! Maybe I can take a trip to her local farmer's market and stock up and then do some cooking and salad making for the family. We'll hope for the best.

I'll get on the scale later this week, but I doubt I'll see a loss since I had the two day slip. I have been doing intervals on the treadmill though, so maybe that'll help.

[play-doh]

I survived my week at my mother's. The whole family was there so every night someone made a dinner for everyone. I always volunteered to make the salad so at least if I couldn't eat the main dish, I'd load up on my greens. There were definitely some cheats, for example, to name a few: I drank a couple cups of coffee a few days; I shared a dessert or two; ate pasta and shrimp loaded with butter because someone made it for us and I had no intentions of risking hurting their feelings by not eating it; and I drank too much wine one evening.

But mostly, when nutritious food wasn't available, and no one was going to notice, I kinda just didn't eat. I mean, if I got really hungry there was fruit around and the ol' veggie burger standbys, but mostly I got comfortable with being empty. I could tell I was losing weight by the end of the week and I decided to step on my mom's scale. 134! I haven't seen a number that low in a long time.

Unfortunately, coming back home, exhausted and unmotivated, I think I've put a pound or two back on, so I'm sitting at my original 136. That's okay though. I'm back to my giant salads and veggie soups and 134 will come again in its own time. I'm just glad I didn't gain weight while I was gone.

[play-doh]

I went to a 4th of July cookout yesterday and friends noticed I'd lost weight. I was happy about that!

So, my weight is hovering between 134 and 136. I'm feeling great, but I want to take my health to the next level. I want to give up alcohol completely. Oh, that's going to be so hard! I love my wine; I love hanging out with friends and having a drink; I love family picnics in the park with family, good food, and a bottle of wine...

But what I don't like is how much I love my wine. I know it's been said that wine is good for you, but I don't buy that. It's been directly related to breast cancer and my daily eating is so healthy that I don't need to add alcohol for extra nutrition. I believe I have an addiction and I'm not comfortable with that.

More later...

[play-doh]

I am so happy to have become a vegan! I feel so good and I have so much energy. The nutrition in the plant foods is doing great things for the osteoarthritis in my back and my psoriasis is almost completely gone!

I made a bunch of mistakes this past week. I ate pizza at a friend's house (I will always eat what is being served at someone's house) and I also at a big cookie my kids baked for me. There have been some other small blunders and this morning I felt a little bloated. But I got on the scale anyway and it said 134. I was surprised and, of course, happy.

I am never, never hungry!

Today's weight: 134

[play-doh]

I stepped up the exercise and have also been very active the past couple of weeks, plus I cut back on the nuts, added more greens, and have not had any sweets or processed foods and the result this morning was:
131 pounds!

[SBMike]

EXCELLENT!

[play-doh]

Thanks for the cheer, SBMike! I am surprised anyone even stops by and visits my journal anymore. I've been anti-social here for the past few months and I regret not being able to keep up with everyone's progress. I've really appreciated having this journal over the past years and it's good for me to see where I've been and how I've felt.

Gosh, I remember getting on the scale that day and seeing my weight at 152 and feeling my belly being squeezed by my jeans. I was embarrassed to see friends whom I hadn't seen in a while because I knew they'd remember that I had been so lean and fit just a few years prior.

I turned 49 in July and as much as I don't like getting older, I'm glad to see the 40's moving along behind me. Those were hard, hard years for me and some of it is just a blur. But, right around age 47 something started to click in me and I found happiness again. Even though nothing in particular changed, life just started getting better and easier. I felt gratitude again. Joy. I wanted to slow things down so I could enjoy them more deeply and savor every minute.

This year everything fell into place. My life is pretty darn perfect and although I still have goals to meet and promises to keep, I'm enjoying the journey.

I am so glad I made the decision to become a vegan. I love eating from the earth and it just feels so right to me. I stand in the produce section and I just want to hug the fruits and vegetables. For the past few years I have not been able to lose weight but since February, when I made the decision to be vegan, I was losing a pound a month. That doesn't seem like much, especially since 90% of what I'm eating is fruits, vegetables, beans, and nuts, but this month was especially good to me. It's like my body had been scared to let go of those pounds, or maybe it wanted to give me a birthday present, because in July I lost about 5 pounds putting me at 128 right now!

128!!!!

I had not expected to see a number that low for a long time. I feel strong and energetic. I've made so many new commitments since February and I've let go of so many bad habits. No coffee, no dairy, no processed foods, no sugar, almost no salt, no gluten, almost no alcohol. But I don't think about what I'm not eating because I'm so excited about what I am eating. My goal now is to keep exercising and increase my weights to build more muscle and strength. My health is excellent. It feels so good to be thin again and to, at last, not feel like my body is an issue.

[play-doh]

Last night I met with my usual group of good friends and I knew food and wine would be as abundant as the good conversations. Our hostess is a vegetarian but she loves her cheese and I really didn't want to be tempted. So I bought a big bag of organic chickpeas and started soaking them on Thursday, cooked them on Friday, and then yesterday I bought the ingredients for hummus. Unfortunately, I couldn't find raw tahini so I used raw cashews instead. It gave the hummus a nice sweet taste but tahini is definitely better. I added lemon, parsley, nutritional yeast, onion, garlic and a couple spoonfuls of smoked paprika. Overall, I have to admit, it was bland. But it did the job of filling me up and kept my hands occupied at the table along with a HUGE plate of cut up organic veggies. I did not feel left out by not eating all the beautiful cheese dishes on the table.

Yesterday I also made a lentil chili that I sneaked a few tastes of, and, oh, so delicious. I think I'll pile it on some fresh spinach for my lunch.

I've had wine three nights in a row, so no more for a while. Also, because I've been writing on a deadline, I've been drinking a cup of coffee or tea for the past few mornings. I may actually keep doing that for a few more days, but then I'll quit again. I have to admit, it really clears my head. I also need to exercise more.

My weight is balanced right at the 129 mark.

[play-doh]

We went out of town and for four days and I ate very badly. Eggs, cheese, bread, blackened fish... I had a hard time finding greens when we ate out, so I just gave in to my old ways. My kids were coming down with colds but were functioning fine but by the time we got home, my nose was stuffed and my throat was scratchy. The morning after we got home I knew I had to - and wanted to - get back to my veggies and hoped I could keep the oncoming cold at bay, but it was too late. I was hit hard. In fact, I think it's knocked me out harder than my kids.

But I still got myself on track as soon as I could. I made a big pot of broccoli soup with onions, garlic, chopped tomato, veggie broth, and a spoonful of hemp seeds. I nibbled on that throughout the day and today I'm feeling much better.

My weight is still hovering in the 128 - 130 range.

[play-doh]

It's really hard to keep my eating free of processed foods and I definitely slip up, sometimes for days in a row. The vegan part of the plan is not too hard though. I do occasionally have a little bit of cheese and sometimes, when I eat some "junk" food like crackers or chips that are not labeled vegan (there's a lot of junk that is vegan, that's for sure) I suspect I'm getting some whey or eggs. But I do keep striving for perfection. It's all part of the journey and when I mess up I don't stress about it too much. I can only do my best.

Something kind of interesting happened. About a month ago I decided to increase my weekly running mileage. I was doing a random, haphazard three miles about three - sometimes four, sometimes two - times a week. I decided to commit to fifteen miles a week, with one of those runs being a five mile slow run. I worked up to it without any problems and was careful to watch my eating. It would be easy to say, oh, I can eat whatever I want after a five mile run. So, I made sure not to do that. Lo and behold, I gained about four pounds anyway. What the heck? I've read that it takes months to build muscle, so I knew I hadn't reached that point yet, so what was going on? Well, soon, maybe because I was discouraged by the numbers on the scale, or maybe it's because the weather was changing, or maybe it's because of the running (which I continued, despite the weight gain) I succumbed to cravings and fell into some ugly eating patterns. Things like too much grains, nut butters, chips, etc. and then, of course, the newly gained four pounds wanted to cling tighter to my bones.

Well, eventually, last weekend to be exact, seeing the scale at 132, I decided I'd had enough with the overeating off plan. I didn't feel as good as before and it would be easy to just let my weight continue to creep up. So, I set out to prepare meals in advance to get me back on track. By Wednesday I was feeling a little lighter and a little more energetic. The cravings for salty junk were going away. And by this morning, I'm glad to say, I'm back to 128. And my running... fifteen miles already done this week.

The other cool thing I'm noticing is the shape my much smaller body is taking. In my clothes there's nothing that bulges or hangs over the sides. I'm much tighter, longer and leaner. Like most women, and probably men too, I mostly haven't been pleased with my body. Never in my life. Isn't that sad? And, while even now, I can't say that I love my body, I do think we've become really good friends. I look at it in the mirror and say, "Yeah, I like you, you're okay." And I smile. I have to be real about it though, after all I'm 49 years old and I'm pretty sure I look 49 and not younger, so I accept that things aren't going to be holding up like a 29 year old. But I feel really good and I'm grateful to be in such good health. Even menopause hasn't been noticeable to me. Oh, and remember that pain that I was having in my upper back a few years ago and it turned out to be osteoarthritis? It's completely gone. I even forgot I ever had it.

So, this is what I'm grateful for. I guess I don't mind that I look my age and not younger because, well, I see my reflection and think, "She looks good for 49."

[play-doh]

Every year we go to the beach for Thanksgiving and every year, right around the beginning of October, I start to stress about having to put on shorts that are too small.

This year my shorts are too big.

This week's weight: 125

[play-doh]

I held out nicely through the Christmas holiday out of town with family... at first. I didn't eat any meat, of course, but when there was nothing else I did eat food with eggs and some cheese. It was the two day drive home that got me. Sitting in the car I seemed to have developed a What-the-heck attitude and I got a hold of a bag of Smartfood. Then when we stopped for lunch everything had meat so I ordered the grilled cheese and fries. I ate A LOT. My eating went along like that for several days even after we got home and I could feel my pants getting tighter. I am slowly easing back to my clean habits though and I'm already feeling much, much better.

For New Years I made an amazing broccoli soup with tons of broccoli, onion, leeks, vegetable broth, beans, and garlic. I also soaked some raw cashews and when the soup finished cooking I put the cashews and some soup in the blender to make it all creamy. Then I added it back to the soup. Vegan cream of broccoli soup. Oh, so amazing!

[perrya]

Wow. Congrats on your strong, steady progress. Inspirational.