Journal of a Lifetime Yo Yo Dieter

[lifetime yo-yo]

Woohoo I am so pleased - I've lost 4lb. I really didn't expect to lose anything because I've been eating a fairly healthy diet for a long time but I suppose just dropping the bad carbs has made the difference.

I also wore a pair of pants today that I bought when I was at my highest weight in April. I bought them to go to an exhibition in London and I wasn't exactly comfortable in them. Today I put them on and could take them on and off without even opening the zipper or the button and they're positively baggy on me. I had to push my tummy out just to hold them up!

It was really nice at the group this evening because people commented that they could really see that I'd lost weight. I'm really pleased because I'm 10kg down from when I was really ill in April and was put on all the meds.

Previously on the way home from the group I've stopped and bought something sinful to eat either as a treat for losing or to comfort me if I've gained. I felt no desire to do that this evening.

Before I went I made a huge pot of lentil and split pea soup with lots of onions, tomatoes and zucchini and when I got home I had a huge bowl of it with some tomatoes and mozzarella cheese.

The only problem was that I'd made pizza for the kids feeling pretty sure that I was safe because I was going out and it wasn't going to tempt me but when I got home there was still a quarter on the plate and I was so tempted to eat it. It was really really difficult but I'm really pleased I didn't give in.

I'm now sitting here really really proud of myself.

Onwards!!

[lifetime yo-yo]

I'm so pleased I'm able to continue this journal. I couldn't be bothered starting it again on TOB.

The last couple of months have been up and down. I really really missed this site as I found it just when I started and I was only on the program for about 3 or 4 days when it went down. It really threw me and it was hard to stay focused.

I've lost a bit more but I have to say it's all been rather half-hearted and I haven't done as well as I could have done. I went away on a business trip and ate out every day for a week. It was difficult to get SBD friendly food and I struggled. I then missed my support group for a couple of weeks because of work and by the time I went back I'd put on 5lb. I managed to get myself in gear, walked every day, drank my water and followed the program - I lost 7.7lb that week!

The next week I did exactly the same with the exercise, water and program and lost only half a pound. I tried to tell myself that after such a huge weightloss the previous week it was only to be expected that I'd not lose much that week but I was really disappointed and I turned to food for comfort - same old, same old!

So this week has been especially difficult and I've eaten everything in sight. Tonight there has been torrential rain and thunderstorms so I wasn't able to get to the group to weigh in which is maybe just as well.

Tomorrow I'm back to basics (well almost - I'm cutting all the bad carbs) and going to get myself back in gear. The board up and running again has come just at the right time and I hope it won't fall again.

[kelsey]

i love this board and have met many friendly people to help my through. SB to me is the best diet there is. I hate to say I had to still have the lapband surgery but I would recommend this diet for everyone. Always remember you can always do good again.
Love, Kelsey

[lifetime yo-yo]

It was a difficult weekend and I wasn't the perfect SBDer but I would say about 85% on track.

So yesterday was another phase 1, day 1 day and I got through it perfectly (again!!!) so let's see if I can keep it going another day. I'm frankly getting very despondent. Everyone here seems to be doing so well and I'm very envious. I'm very hormonal at the moment which isn't helping my state of mind.

Yesterday my doctor discussed lapband surgery with me - should I do it? I've thought about it in the past and watched a friend lose a huge amount of weight after it only to then watch her pile it all back on again. I so do not want to lose and then gain back again. When I lose this time it has to be for good. I thought I had convinced myself that to take 3 or 4 years to lose it all would be OK as it took me a hell of a lot more years than that to put it on but I'm really frustrated at the moment and don't want to be struggling with this to lose maybe 1lb, if I'm lucky, a week.

Anyway, I'm off to make my SBD breakfast and hopefully stay the course for another day - I just have to take it one day at a time. The funny thing is that I'm acting as a mentor to someone - someone I've never met and don't even know her name - and she's doing so well. She tells me every day how grateful she is to have me along this journey with her. If only she knew

[lifetime yo-yo]

I haven't weighed in for ages so have no idea how much I weight at the moment but I feel good and that's what's important to me. I'll go to the pharmacy and weigh in on their scale over the next few days and probably use that as my guide now.

I've missed my group meeting for the last couple of weeks and I'm probably not going to go back. There's been a whole issue with people joining who really only have 2-3kg, if that, to lose and I'm feeling very intimidated by them. I'm by far the biggest person in the group and I already found it hard to relate to some of the women there but with these new ones I just don't feel comfortable sitting in front of them and saying what I'm doing. Even if I'm doing everything right – which I am right now – I feel that they're looking at me and saying "well yeah, if you know all the bloody answers how come you're sitting there looking like a beached whale!".

I'm glad this board is back up and it seems to be working because I'm back on track.

This weekend will be a bit of a challenge because we're going to some friends for lunch tomorrow and I don't know what food she'll have. I asked if I could make something and she said absolutely not so I don't like to take a salad with me or she'll think I'm really rude. I think I will try to eat something before we go and hope that there are some vegetables at least. I just have to be careful. I'm usually quite good in front of others – I don't like people watching me and thinking "no wonder she's so fat, look at what she's eating". I know because I've thought it myself about others!

Physically I've been feeling rather stiff the last few days and I hope I'm not coming down with something. Youngest DS is sick and DH doesn't feel 100%. I didn't walk yesterday, which is the first day I've missed in two months. I didn't get up just so early this morning as it's so cold at 5.30 and I thought if I waited until the sun is up it might be warmer. I walked at 7.00 and although completely blue skied and sunny it was absolutely freezing! However, I walked for 45 mins and felt OK, although chilled.

Breakfast – cabbage, spring onion and tomato frittata with mozzarella cheese
Lunch – probably a chicken salad with a mustard and balsamic dressing
Dinner – I'm making a big family dinner tonight so I have a tuna mousse to start, lentil & vegetable soup, baked chicken schnitzel with mushroom sauce, green beans and a green salad.
Dessert – diet jello for me and some kind of hot fruit salad for the others

I have my bag of pistachios if I need a snack or two during the day.

[lifetime yo-yo]

I've had a busy week so haven't had time to journal although I'm pleased to say that I've been exercising every day and eating on plan the whole week which is excellent for me.

I will probably go to be weighed this evening but this is definitely the last chance I'm giving it and if I don't feel comfortable there I'm definitely not going back. I weighed myself on the pharmacy scale at the beginning of the week and either I've put on weight (which I don't think I have) or the scale there is 2.5kg (5.5lb) heavier than the scale I'm used to be weighed on. I really hope that it's just a difference in the scales.

I had a real feel-good moment yesterday when someone I hadn't seen for a couple of months said that I looked really good. Again they couldn't quite put their finger on what it was LOL but they noticed something different. It's a real psychological challenge to accept that even although I've lost almost 30lb no-one notices it because there is still so much to lose. If I let myself, I could get really upset about and say "what the hell, what's the point" but I'm determined to keep going.

My food has been pretty much the same each day -

breakfast - some kind of vegetable frittata made with 2 eggs and Pam
snack - haven't ready had much of a need for this one but if I do it's usually cabbage leaves and humous
lunch - either tuna or chicken salad - pretty consistent - lots and lots of baby leaves, sliced cabbage, sliced red onions, tomato, cucumber, red pepper and either the tuna or chicken - the dressing is usually salt, black pepper, olive oil and balsamic vinegar but sometimes a little mayonnaise and Dijon mustard
snack - red pepper and cabbage with humous, occasionally some pistachios
dinner - usually a vegetable soup followed by salmon or chicken with stir fried vegetables - next week I'm going to add in a very small amount of carb to this meal but I'm still pretty scared of carbs

[lifetime yo-yo]

I went to weigh in and I'm glad I did as I lost 1 kg which means that I'm now down a total of 30 lbs (13.5kg).

I'm feeling very vulnerable though and don't yet feel that I'm on safe ground as far as food is concerned. I always make a big effort over the weekend with my cooking and decided to try various of the new recipes I've picked up from this site but I'm also making cake for my kids because I always do to give them a treat. I'm worried that I'll give in to a craving when I see it and smell it. I really don't feel that I've worked these cravings out of my system yet which is why I haven't really added carbs back into my diet.

I really hope I can stay strong because my weight loss has been too slow and I really want to speed things up. I think the only way I can do that is to be 100% on plan. I'm there with the exercise and water but still not with the food although I've been 100% on plan since Sunday and we ate out on New Year's eve!

[lifetime yo-yo]

deleted - double posting

[nachisdoll]

wow its sounds like ur off to a great start let u know how the weigh in goes!

[kitten40ish]

Hey Yoyo,
Thanks for stopping by with the words of encouragement. You are doing great! Congrats on 30 pounds. !!!
I'm doing good for my second day. Need to find some better snacks..I don't like to eat just nuts all the time. On my way to go hunt down some ideas tonight.
Have a good evening..Faith

[lifetime yo-yo]

It's been several months since I wrote this journal and I've had a mixed journey, the last month of which I've been flat on my back with a slipped disc.

So I'm trying to get back on track starting today, 30 March 2008. I'm up about 2 lb from the last time I weighed which I think is really OK considering all that I've eaten, not exercised etc etc. I also went back to my support group on Thursday evening and I'm going to make a major effort to get there every week now that the days are getting longer again.

So I walked this morning for 20 minutes. It wasn't easy an my back is still sore. I have to take it easy and ease myself back into the exercise. I took my blood pressure after showering and before breakfast and before meds and it was a wopping 150/90 with a pulse of 90. I really have to get back on the exercise track.

I had a wonderful roasted vegetable frittata with 2 eggs and some shredded mozzarella cheese and I'm off to start drinking my measured water - great start huh? Let's see if I can make it past lunchtime!

[lifetime yo-yo]

Well it's now sometime after 4pm and it's been a hard day although I've managed to stay on track - just!

I had cabbage, humous and turkey pastrami roll ups for my mid-morning snack about 11am which was possibly a bit late as I had breakfast at 8. I was then starving afterwards and was desperate to go and get something to eat. I managed to stop myself but it was really hard. I'm thinking about food constantly and although I'm busy with work it's there in the back of my mind all the time.

I also had late lunch cos I decided to roast some veggies for my salad but didn't get around to putting them in the oven until about 1 so it was almost 3 before I ate but it was good - roasted cauliflower, green beans, cabbage and onion in balsamic vinegar and a little olive oil. I added the roasted veg to a bowl of baby leaves, chopped tomato and chopped cucumber and a can of tuna in water. I added some tehina and mixed all together - it was very tasty but again I felt hungry almost straight away.

I'm absolutely sure that I'm not really hungry cos I've had a good amount of food at each meal. My stomach has also been a bit unsettled and that might have had something to do with it too.

I've got my 30 pistachios ready for my snack which I'm going to have soon. Supper is unplanned cos I think I have to take a client out to eat but hopefully I'll be able to get chicken and salad.

[cambridge78]

hello there,

just read your journey so far - this forum is so great because it's very inspiring... I just wanted to say well done!

I've been on and off SBD for the past year almost, but I lost about 25 kilos previous to that, 10 of which I put back on

Well, I have now started unofficially last week, but today is my first official Phase 1 day. I find I think about food a lot when I'm on SBD, so reading about it, rather than eating it, helps

Happy beachin!!

[lifetime yo-yo]

Hey nice to have another Brit here and glad you're joining me on this journey - I'm almost through day 2 (for the nth time!).

take care and let's hope we're successful this time.

[maltaguy]

Here I am .. I've added your journal to my bookmarks!

Where are you from? You sound European .. cause you use kilos like me

The secret is planning. I've read some posts of yours and you seem to be struggling with preparing meals. If you are hungry at 1pm, don't throw your vegetables in the oven to roast cause as you've clearly seen .. it took you 2 full hours to finally eat. And that's what I call the dangerous zone .. when you're so hungry almost to the point of starving .. and you're waiting impatiently for your meal to be ready .. that's when we tend to cheat!

However having said that, I don't really plan a lot these days. But when I first started SB I used to, big time. Now I got the hang of it, so i know what to do instantly without referring to books or the board. But sometimes I still like to cook in bulk .. and freeze portions, when I have a day off.

Come on .. you can do it! We all can!