I was living happily ever after, even after having baby #1. It was #2 that soon followed (they are 15 months apart) that did me in. My weight was up a bit (from my low of losing weight) when I got pregnant with #2 and I gained a lot with him. I initially lost some, but the craziness of 2 little ones coupled with a constantly traveling DH did me in. I needed quick & easy most of the time. And I needed sleep. Advance prep for salads and stuff was not something I had the time for, or the willingness to make time for. I barely had time to even make something, let alone actually spend 30+ minutes doing so. So I ate more & more crud. And I paid for it. My weight went back up to basically the weight I was at in 2005 when I started here. I managed to lose 2 here, 3 there, another 5 here, but then would gain 6. It wasn't pretty and I wasn't happy. I didn't eat as poorly as I used to pre-SBD, but it wasn't the wonderfully healthy eating style I had adopted before having my boys.
Over the last 2 years (the little guy is 3 next month) I did manage to shed about 20lbs from the highest I was at once again. But I still used to the excuse of crazy life & crazy kids to ignore getting back to being a healthier person. And I really struggled with this. From the time #2 was a few months old until a few weeks ago there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think about how to make this happen and take that first step. Seriously - THERE WASN'T A DAY. These thoughts consumed me. I know how to be healthy. I know what unhealthy foods are. But I just couldn't find it in me to flip the switch to getting back to eating better and to stopping my poor choices.
But I hate being fat. I hate being the fat mom. I hate being the fat wife. I hate being the fat one in my group of friends. Such a daily internal struggle.
But for some reason, and I have no idea what inside of me finally snapped out of it - but I did it. Woke one morning, ate a great (P1) breakfast, and never looked back. Weight is going down, I feel better, clothes are already much looser - but most of all there's a happy place in my brain again that's been missing. I know I'm doing the right thing and there's a pride that goes with that. Not to mention the delight in seeing results and knowing my efforts are working.
And by no means have we or the 2 boys been eating a disastrously unhealthy diet where we live off junk food, fast food, and just plain old crud. But there are better choices to be had by all of us, and tweaking the kids' stuff & ours (kids just don't always eat what we do - the salmon & roasted brussels sprouts I had tonight was not appetizing to either one!) it only going to help us all, now & in the long run. And I am glad to be setting that example and changing things for the better for all of us.
Speaking of the 2 boys - #1 is now 4yrs 2 months, and #2 will be 3 one month from today.