WOW...2 Months down and half way there!!!

[Jeff H.]

I know that my family will reem me for calling him but I cannot do this alone. He will be here to visit tonight. I know this is not SBD related but I had to tell someone. Wish me luck! Reace

Good luck Reace, it took 2 to make the babies...hopefully he'll be man enough to own up to the responsibility.

[futurethinmama]

Hey guys just wanted to say thanks for the well wishes. My presiction was right, I got reemed by my sister and called everything but a human I finally hung up on her. The bio. dad came over and took my oldest for dinner and a hair cut. They seemed to have a good time, he was very calm when his dad was here so that tells me that my instincts so far are right on the money...I am hoping it continues. The baby was ok with him too, but he is generally just a good baby! My sister thinks so little of me that I am hurt. I was told that I only called him cause I have lost some weight and wanted to get him back That I did this for me and I do not care about what is right for my kids I am not even gonna go there the idea of all of that is absurd. Yes he has flaws, some big ones...but I have been the one to keep the kids from him. He has wanted to see them and I tell him no cause he needs to change some things about his life style. Will he do those things with me around...no....is he going to harm my children in any way....no....is it beneficial for children to know both of there parents...in most cases yes....I am not wrong here and just needed to vent.
OK back to SBD yesterday was goof...should have eaten some more veggies...I had
B-2 eggs, canadian bacon and v-8
S-4 triscuits and lf moz.
L-salad w/EVOO and slivered almonds lf moz.
S-uncle sam w/soy and splenda
D-Steak w/salad and 1 TB ranch
probably 2 diet pops so I did not have a sweet treat

So far today I have just had breakfast of 2 eggs and mushrooms sauteed w/onion
I will probably have
s-ricotta w/pumpkin spice and splenda
L-salad w/EVOO and almonds
S-celery and laughing cow
D-maybe a bunless burger??? some broccoli and ranch
Have a good day guys! Reace

[futurethinmama]

HMM Did not do so well in the eating department today...after breakfast I did have 4 triscuits and lf mozerella...then the ricotta dessert...then that was it til about 10 minutes ago, I had a WW tortilla w/laughing cow baby spinach and canadian bacon. Ok Ok so I will not wil any SBD awards for today but H-E-C-T-I-C is the word of the day Tomorrow is another day! Reace

[Jeff H.]

Hey guys just wanted to say thanks for the well wishes. My presiction was right, I got reemed by my sister and called everything but a human I finally hung up on her. The bio. dad came over and took my oldest for dinner and a hair cut. They seemed to have a good time, he was very calm when his dad was here so that tells me that my instincts so far are right on the money...I am hoping it continues. The baby was ok with him too, but he is generally just a good baby! My sister thinks so little of me that I am hurt. I was told that I only called him cause I have lost some weight and wanted to get him back That I did this for me and I do not care about what is right for my kids

I had typed out a reply yesterday but it's not here today.

So, I think I would tell the sister to kiss your ass. You need to do what is the best for you and the kids. Your sister sounds a lot like my sister and SIL, SIL is from South Africa and she made some comments about America and the way Americans acted right after 9-11, all of the comments were derogatory in nature. In the same breath she called Americans heathens because she has never met a decent American. I basically told her that if she didn't like it, pack her bags and head back to South Africa, I would pay for a one way ticket. Needless to say, we haven't spoken since and my brother who is usually very patriotic and outspoken about how good America is just kept his mouth shut and didn't say squat either way. About 6 months later my sister tells my wife, she wouldn't say it to my face of course because that's not how things are done in my family, that I was racist in my comments to SIL. Well, my DW layed into her big time and told her that SIL comments were disrespectful to us as a family and as Americans. That's another sister that we haven't heard from in a couple years now.

So stand up to your sister, you know your circumstances better then she does. Sometimes family just needs to know when to shut up.

[KilamanjaroBound]

Hey Reace,

I'm catching up on your journal after my trip.

Congrats on going down to 194. I agree, exercise really makes all the difference. SB eating is great, but it's the workouts that make the pounds melt off.

As for the ex, good for you for calling in a little help when you needed it. A sick baby is just too much work for one woman!

You're doing great!

[futurethinmama]

Hello all! I was just reading thru some past posts/comments to get my "updates" and seriously notcied how much people complain on this site. Now, I am not talking about JOURNAL entries...cause DUH I would be at the top of the complainer list...I mean just in general they ask for advice and get it then complain that they got more then they needed? Crazy huh? I for one am grateful if people add to my topic to make it more informational...cause you forever have those who say "if you do a search" as a polite way of saying "look around and find it BEFORE posting a new subject" So why would it be a problem to add something else to a post regarding that post subject if it helps? I donno guess I just needed to rant, your dam#ed if you do......no need to finish that huh?

Jeff H. I guess I just never learned to stand up for myself and when I do I am "shamed" for it. I am a grown woman and need to stop living in the wings of my sister (who hurt me very badly by the way) and do what I think is best. I wish I could just say what I think then not have my entire family not speak to me for months...but that would be too much like right huh? Family Good for you sticking up for America and yourself.....My X is from Pakistan and we would have some big heated discussions in regards to culture,beliefs etc...of course I was always right Thanks again for the encouragement...you rock man

kilamanjarobound thanks for stoppin by, how was your trip??? I am so happy for the "ticker movement" keep it up girlie. I really can see a change in my body since I started exercising....some good some not so good The great thing is the parts that are "lacking" can be replaced if you know what I mean I need to go update my challenge page even though I do not have a lot to add. I will "check" you out later. Reace

[Jeff H.]

Hello all! I was just reading thru some past posts/comments to get my "updates" and seriously notcied how much people complain on this site. Now, I am not talking about JOURNAL entries...cause DUH I would be at the top of the complainer list...I mean just in general they ask for advice and get it then complain that they got more then they needed? Crazy huh? I for one am grateful if people add to my topic to make it more informational...cause you forever have those who say "if you do a search" as a polite way of saying "look around and find it BEFORE posting a new subject" So why would it be a problem to add something else to a post regarding that post subject if it helps? I donno guess I just needed to rant, your dam#ed if you do......no need to finish that huh?

I think it's more they get told the truth and they don't want to hear it. I've bitten 'my tongue' (or typing fingers) to keep from saying...Yep you blew it, you had a cookie, turn in your SB book. You're outa the program bozo.

[futurethinmama]

CONFESSIONS OF A DRUNKEN AND DANGEROUS BLONDE....

OK, so I could tell ya'll that I did everything right yesterday and you would never know...but since this is a board to "help" me there really is no point in that so I am here to make a confession.
The night started like any other night. I did really well with my "diet" all day. Put the boys to bed (usual challenges with the oldest) started cleaning up after a long day and thought hmmm A glass of wine sounds tasty. Off to the fridge for my "box o' wine" got myself a glass and continued on with the housework. I generally mix it with diet sprite to make it more like a wine cooler, then that way its 1/2 and 1/2 and I can "technically" have 2 glasses. No diet clear pop so I had it straight up. Decided to have some fish to help out the blood sugar levels, so you can see my intentions were good right? Next glass and my "box" is empty...yeah well doing the "right thing" when it comes to drinking has never been my strongest ability. I decide a beer is great just one and have a piece of string cheese, again with the sugar level. 5 beers and 2 DONUTS later I am smashed. Alone at home its Saturday night so I pick up the phone....yep you guessed it I am a drunk dialer, always have been! Why oh why am I allowed to have a beer and a phone at the same time? I called folks I have not talked to in YEARS...ummm and by this time its 1 A.M. Heres the problem, I am not a happy drunk nor am I a sad drunk I am just an IDIOT drunk who cannot make up my mind. I love you and I hate you and I tell you all about it. Needless to say I am feelin bad and probably made a whole lot of enemies....
I really screwed up with this SBD thing but I am going strong from today and I refuse to beat myself up for those donuts and beer. I have gotten rid of the beers (only had 5 in the house luckily) and the wine is gone. I also finished the donuts (they were mini ones not that it matters) again, very glad there were only 2 left. Fresh start...off to take some tylenol....yeah yeah LAUGH all ya want

[KilamanjaroBound]

<chuckles>

At least you can laught at yourself now. It's good you've gotten the temptation out of the house. Phones and alcohol are never a good combination.

Of all the things you could have eaten in that state, 2 mini donuts is impressively restrained. Overall, I think the damage to your body is probably minimal.

Your friends, on the other hand....well... sending flowers is always a nice gesture

[futurethinmama]

Kilamanjarobound I can't really say I am "good" in the restraint department...just happened to be all the junk food that was left in the house. I am afraid if there had been more I would have certainly eaten it So glad I got rid of all of those chocolate chip cookies before I went on my drunken "binge" LOL. I am really excited about starting the October challenge...I really bit dust and blew dirt with the September challenge but again not beating myself up, just realizing I need to "kick it up a notch." I have to say I am super envious of your job, you get to travel all the time. I have never even been on a plane! I really gotta get out more LOL!


STEPPING STONES: Ok, so I am really at a crossroads in my life right now. I have exhausted every career path I could possibly take. I have explored all of the pros and cons of each profession I like (or think I will like). Weighed out the salaries etc. and I still am undecided Blurred and confused. The reality is I could go out today and "get a job." Now that the baby is coming along so well I can (HATE TOO) but can put him in daycare. However, in the grand scheme of things I do not just want a job with the stress of layoffs and no skill or trade to fall back on I would go crazy. If I do not go to school now (college, vo-tech, beauty school etc...) I know that it will be at least 5 years before I go back then I am lookin at 33 still just having a job and living paycheck to paycheck. Alright so I need to be making some life choices right now and its time like these I realize that being an adult can pretty much suck if you make bad choices. I am looking into Paralegal school. I realistically could do that forever if need be, and I can start school in a few weeks and be done in 15 months. Salary wise its not bad, 40k to start. Plus the longer you work and more experience you have your salary increases. Not a bad gig! This is the direction I am headed I wanted to be an attorney when I was young, and frankly I do not want to go to school for the next 5-6 years. I want to enjoy my children and not worry about not having the money to provide for them. I mean I have not even started a college fund for my 7 year old...I am 7 years behind all ready! Lord help me!

Menu:
Sunday
B-oatmeal v-8 string cheese
S-4 triscuits and LC cheese
L-salad (EVOO almonds black olives tuna cheese)
S-none
D-2 pieces of sushi w/ginger and soy

Why am I slipping on this? I had way too many grains and even white rice yesterday in the sushi. I have to stop this right now and get a handle on my eating. I am not eating enough and I am not making proper choices

Today
B-string cheese and lf turkey V8
tea and 3 glasses water.
Thats it, it is almost 2 in the afternoon and thats all I have eaten today? So much for steady blood sugar Ok off to make a salad or some fish. I can do this and I will! (I think I can I think I can....) Me

[futurethinmama]

Is all I can say about my day! I am too mentally drained to even think about it right now, but figured I would post my menu since I did manage to do that right!

B-2 eggs some LF moz. ch and 1 cup squash w/1 tsp canola butter and ground black pepper yum!
S-handful of cashew pieces and string cheese chai tea w/soy & splenda
L-extra large salad w/EVOO turkey cheese (lf of course) and slivered almonds (just enough to make it pretty)
S-more string cheese and a diet pepsi
D-1/4 pound lean hamburger patty (made burgers and cheese fries for my son) approx. 2 cups broccoli/cauli. stir fried w/EVOO (maybe 2 tsp.) and drizzled ever so lightly with velveeta (ummm)
another diet pepsi and not sure about the evening snack...I am pretty full from dinner.
I have only had 3 glasses of water today so I need beef that up tomorrow!!! I am off to pick up the babys new antibiotic...Reace

[Sachinda]

Reace, you've been going through a lot lately, I wanted to pop into your to see how you and your wonderful kids are doing and I see you've been through a lot.

Keep at it. Any mistakes you've made, you've realized them and it seems like you're making strides to always do better. Everyone has their own problems and baggage and while you can feel like you're going through so much, that's what living life is all about.

Reading this after I've typed, I realize it sounds a bit weird. I don't want to sound like I'm belittling your problems!! I think I'm in a little philosophising mood today.

[futurethinmama]

Sachinda I do not think you are belittling my problems...the truth is even though my life is INTENSE I really love and enjoy my children. The fact is I just come on here to vent and most times you guys just get the bad stuff cause I do not wanna drag it around with me in my daily life. I am very fortunate and I realize that...thanks for stopping by!

I have to say I have been on Wellbutrin for a week now and I seem to have more energy then before....thats definately a PLUS! I have an appt. for my oldest Friday to see a new Psychiatrist...I think perhaps in treating the ADHD he is now somewhat calmer and able to focus on his feelings, feelings that he has never noticed before due to the hyperness and he does not know how to relate to them or show them without hostility! I am PRAYING that she can help! It took me 20 mintues to get him out of the school building yesterday...he was running up and down the hallway screaming and crying and I finally just walked outside and went to the car. He came out shortly and got in the car, the evening was spent in his room on the bed with a book. Hopefully he will be calmer today! I feel really bad for his teacher, guess I need to make some more cookies today Gotta find the baby I will post later Reace

[futurethinmama]

Today was a good day...I picked up my son and had no problems, he had a wonderful day at school. As an eye opener for him on what "can" happen when he is respectful and obedient we went to the park and met my friend and her son (they have played together pn and off since 4 months old) My friend and I walked around the play area and watched them play. There was a very relaxing cool breeze. The baby just played in his stroller and all seemed "normal". I thrive on days like this, and long for them because they really are so few and far between. I am so proud of my son for controlling his rage and attitude today! I am thrilled at the thought of many more moments like that.

Menu
B- 2 eggs cheese and v-8
S-string cheese a few cashews and diet DP
L-oatmeal and a salad (not together but about 15 min later
S-more string cheese and deli turkey
D-huge salad w/tomatoes evoo almonds and deli turkey
S- sweet treat w/1 TB PB and fudgcicle...no cool whip I quit buying it cause I eat too much. It was surprisingly good without the whip think I may have it like that more often!
I did not get in all my water but it is better then yesterday! Probably 5-6 glasses today. Time to get some ZZZZ's I have been so stressed lately I have not been sleeping, betcha I will tonight I had a glass of wine...just one and I hid the phone LOL

[KilamanjaroBound]

HI Reace,

Really good job on rewarding your son's behavior with positive praise. I once went to a training that demonstrated that the only effective behavior modification strategy is to positively praise good behavior. Punishing bad behavior doesn't work.

And the best type of positive reinforcement is immediate, personal and predictible (meaning it happens every time).

Oh, and for the fudgsicle and peanut butter. My favorite sweet treat is to just take a teaspoin of PB and smear it over the frozen fugsicle. Yummy!