"Good Enough" Never Is

[mickiby]

I am glad to hear you are losin inches:) and kept with the plan even when away from us, it can be done:) that shows you have made the transformation and now we are just balancing out. i hope the weight starts to fall off soon.

you deserve it. you are working so hard.

yeah shy baby!!!!!! it is good to have you back

[ShyBaby]

Day 2 of P1 and here I am again! This time has been a little strange for me because I've been dealing with a lot of personal issues on top of everything else. Needless to say, I've been very blue and feeling rather hopeless. I know that by putting my health/weight on the back burner will only make things worse so I'm trying to be proactive. If I can get over this current hump while making every effort to make positive choices for my health I think it will help me regain some self confidence.

Unfortunately, at the moment I'm feeling like a big fat pig and failure. I know that if I can force myself to get back on that treadmill and use it faithfully every day I'll have more desire to keep moving forward in this journey.

Yesterday I picked up the newest issue of Oprah. It may sound funny to some but that magazine (for the most part) really makes me feel good. True there are parts of it that just don't relate to anything in my world (ie those of us who live paycheck to paycheck) but I find most of the articles are positive and uplifting. If this roller coaster (called "life") I'm on ever slows down I want to curl up and read for hours...

[mickiby]

HELLO- I TOTALLYU CNAT LET YOU FEEL LIKE A FAT PIG, YOU LOST SO MUCH WEIGTH ALREADY FOR ONE, FOR 2 YOU ARE SUCH A BEUFIFUL PERSON DUDE NOT JUST INSIDE I MEAN THE PHOTOS YOU HAVE ARE AMAZING, I KNOW YOU NEVER SEE THE REAL YOU IN THE MIRROR, I UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT IS LIKE CAUSE I HAVE THE SAME PROBLEMS. LETS DO ONE THING AT A TIME. ONE STEP AT A TIME, THE EXERCISE IS A GOOD GOAL, AND EATING WELL FOR YOUR LIFE IS A GREAT THING TO. TODAY TRY TO JUST GET ONE THING BETTER, OR THIS WEEK. AND NEXT WEEK ADD SOMETHING ELSE, SLOWLY BUT SURELY THINGS WILL COME AROUND. BUT YOU ARE ALREADY A BEUTIFUL PERSON. BLESSED TO HAVE THE FACE OF AN ANGEL. AND THE SMILE THAT CAN BRING HAPPINESS TO ANYONE IN ANYTIME, MAYBE GO SMILE AT YOURSELF, MAYBE THAT WILL HELP:) YOU KNOW IT IS TRUE.

ONE DAY AT A TIME, ENJOY THE DAY, ENJOY YOUR TIME TO READ WHEN YOU GET IT, AND ENJOY TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF YOU ARE TOTALLY WORTH IT:) SPOIL YOURSELF. FOR ME OK.

MICHELLE

[ShyBaby]

Thanks Michelle. You're such a great person, I always enjoy your posts. For someone I've never met you sure do know how to brighten my day!

I got home last night and my kitchen sink was clogged. Not a major problem for most but when I bought my little house last summer I hadn't even mowed a lawn before! I've come a long way in learning how to fix things but this one is bad; I borrowed a plunger from the neighbor and had no luck. So this morning is was off to Wal-Mart before work (I live in a tiny town without even a gas station or grocery store). I loaded up on all sorts of things to unclog that drain, ran home and dumped in lots of chemicals and we'll see what happens when I get home tonight. Needless to say, the treadmill didn't happen. And tonight it's soccer practice (daughter) after work so it's another hectic night. But after that my schedule frees up and I'm devoting the weekend to ME.

[mickiby]

SOCCER PRACTICE, THAT CAN BE EXERCISE TOO, I CAN'T WAIT TILL MY LITTLE ONE IS IN TEAM SPORTS!!

I AM so sorry to hear about the sink, i totally have been there, heck last easter, we got home from church to start cookin and the sink backed up on us. We tried everything, and then we had to call out a guy to come and do it from the roof drain point, on EASTER. We gave him a huge tip.

Hopefully yours is a nice easy clog and it already finished cleaning itself out.

Speaking of soccer again, adhd big time today!!!! I have seen moms runing the soccer field while the kids practice or walking around it in loops so they can still watch but they are getting some needed exercise as well. I am not sure if that is do able. I don't know if i would be able to do that, cause i would want to watch. Just thought i would point out that i have seen that on the fields around my house.

Keep up the great work, and i surely hope you devote some weekend time to you:) that will be nice.

[ShyBaby]

Thanks for the suggestion! I was trying to figure out what to do with that 90 minutes of "free time" when I still have to be there to watch. Guess I'll get up and go! There's pleanty of room for me to walk around and still watch what's going on. It's Shy's first year in soccer and she knows nothing about it (neither do I) so it's rather comical to watch. Their first game is this Saturday and I can't wait!

[mickiby]

HER FIRST YEAR, THAT IS SO EXCITING. THERE IS MUCH TO LEARN AND EVEN BETTER THAT SHE IS LEARNING TO EXERCISE AT THE SAME TIME.

I have been bad about going on the 5 board, i really need to get over there today and get to loggin my days for this week atleast.

Lunch time is comin i am so hungry!!!!

[ShyBaby]

I'm really trying to "simplify" our lives so that I/we have more time to enjoy the simple things. I love to cross stitch, scrapbook, read, etc. but never seem to find the time. I bowed out of being a Brownie leader again and running the craft hour at church (after the kids have bible class). She wanted to be in soccer this year and I promised myself I wouldn't deny her the opportunity to be in sports if she was serious about it. We didn't have those opportunties growning up so my sister & I both want our kids to be involved in sports.

Shyanne is still in Brownies (2 Mondays per month), which I think is good for her and she loves it. Tuesday nights my dog has agility class. I know that's far from neccessary but I have my reasons. First, the trainer is single, sweet & adorable, and this is a great way to get to know him better to see if anything develops. It's great exercise for me because my little dog is SO fast I can't catch him so I'm always working up a sweat when I'm there. And since I work full time it's nice for my dog who spends all day in his cage when I'm gone.

Wednesday nights my daughter has bible class at church (we live next door). Thursdays is soccer practice and Saturdays are soccer games. Then there's church & Sunday School on Sundays...

I feel like I've cut out as much as possible but I'm still wearing myself thin. Now more than ever I need to be on a strong exercise program if for no other reason than to keep me going!

[mickiby]

I can totally understand where you are coming from. your angel is olde then mine but i am in the same boat, trying to figure out what i can do and what i do have time for and such so as his things start really coming together i have a nice balance to life. So far the only thing he is doing is gymnastics on saturdays. I have been thinking and thinking about going to church again, i tried a few times with him when he was younger and he just threw a fit in the child care, i didn't even get to my seat before my number was up, i spent the service in the kids area while my dh got to hear the word. I really didn't understand that either since he is in school i leave him everyday why did he freak out??? but maybe now he is older and maybe i should try again. that is something i would love for him to get envolved in.

dude that is a super reason to be out with your puppy, a nice person to meet and learn about while your pup gets some much needed time with you and stuff. how old is your puppy and what type is it?? i have a 10 month old mutt, i thought he was a austrailian shepard/border colie mix. but by the likes of him growing this is not really true... he is way huge already.

balancing life is never easy. my biggest problem is once i start to focus on an area i have been neglecting, i end up neglecting something else. i also enjoy scrapbooking, reading, and doing lessons with my son. and i am adicted to a few tv shows as well.... so i find time for those. good thing they have all been off for a bit:) got caught up on the house.

well sorry to ramble on your board:) i forget sometimes where i am:)
have a super evening, enjoy your time at the field and get that work out in still.

i must run back to working, something i have been neglecting since i found this board. see.. her i am taking care of me and losing weight and focus at the same time

[ShyBaby]

Balance is definately not easy for moms!!

I have a cockapoo and was a year old in July. My daughter got a pomeranian 2 months ago from my sister and he'll be 2 on Halloween. Plus we have 2 cats! Needless to say, the animals, although both are small, keep me busy too.

We lucked out with the house I bought. It's in a small (population 200-300 I'm guessing) town and is right next door to the main attaction in town...the church! It's a very christian oriented town and the people are so caring and nice; it's like living in Mayberry. Although we weren't that particular religion, everyone was so open and welcoming that we ended up joining it because they treat us like family. I'm serious...last winter I'd come home and my driveway would be all plowed out, even after the heaviest storms. People are so friendly around here. Anyway, the view out my living room is the church which they just put a huge addition onto so now we have a nice big parking lot for Shyanne to ride her bike on, as do half the kids in town. On summer evenings you can find a dozen kids (and often their parents) riding bikes/pushing baby strollers in the parking lot next door. Some thought I was crazy for moving next to a church but it's been great. Although there is no sleeping in on Sundays when most of the town sees your business! And the town believes Sundays are a day of rest so people just don't work or mow their lawns on Sundays. That takes some getting used to and nobody yells if someone does work/mow but out of respect I try to keep my work indoors on Sundays...LOL

[mickiby]

WOW THAT IS TRUELY AN AMAZING AREA FOR SURE. I WOULD HAVE NO PROBLEM MOVING TO A NICE REMOTE LOCATION LIKE THAT. I TOLD MY HUSBAND A WHILE AGO WHEN CHRIS IS OLDER AND GETTING READY TO START MIDDLE SCHOOL I WANT TO RUN AWAY TO THE BIBLE BELT INSTEAD OF THE SUBURBS OF SOUTH FLORIDA THAT ARE TATHERN AND TORN UNLESS YOU CAN AFFORD TO LIVE IN A 500,000 HOUSE OR MORE. IT IS REALLY SICK HERE. AND THE KIDS HAVE NO VALUES OR MORALS CAUSE WELL I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT IT JUST URKS ME.

I WANT FAMILY MEALS, I WANT FAMILY RECREATION, I WANT A NEIGHBORHOOD WHERE I KNOW ALL MY NEIGHBORS, DUDE MY DIRECT NEIGHBOR TO THE EAST. I HAVE NO IDEA A THING ABOUT THEM AND I HAVE LIVED HERE FOR GOING ON 3 YEARS. NOW THE OTHERS I DO KNOW BUT ONLY 1 HOUSE IN EACH DIRECTION THEN THAT IS IT. YA KNOW. IT IS SAD.

MY BROTHER-INLAW LIVES NEXT TO A CHURCH IN TAMPA FLORIDA, HE DOESN'T GO THERE, OR TO ANY CHURCH. BUT HE ENJOYS BEING NEXT DOOR TO SEE ALL THE PEOPLE AND HE FEELS LIEK HIS HOUSE IS SAFE FOR SOME REASON.. INTERSTING LOGIC SINCE HE DOESNT EVEN ATTEND A CHURCH.

2 HOURS TO GO FOR ME!!! WORK WORK BE DONE!!!!

[ShyBaby]

Less than an hour for me and I'm done. Whew!

I lived in Ft. Myers in grades 6-11 so I know EXACTLY what you mean. My parents moved us back to the Midwest for the same reasons; fortunately we all turned out fine. But in middle school we didn't even have lockers because there was such a drug problem. The school ripped 'em out and made us carry our books (back in the early 80's).

I feel totally safe next to church; most days I don't even lock my doors. When I bought the house the sellers didn't even know where the keys were because they NEVER locked it. With a church on 2 sides of the property and an 89 year old widow on the other side I'm safer than safe can be!

[mickiby]

Hey there shys mom:) hee hee

how was soccer last night? How is the sink? I hope all is well in the kitchen man, cause that is just frustrating.

Hope you have a great day on the beach today, the sun is shining and the waves are super. today is a perfect beach day!!!! enjoy.

[ShyBaby]

Well soccer went great and I managed to fix the kitchen sink myself which was a relief!

So where have I been lately??
Well, I've been struggling very much lately with financial problems. Yeah, most of us have them and I'm no different. But the last few months it has gotten so much worse and I'm officially drowning in debt. That, of course, leads to depression and binging...which makes me feel worse and the cycle continues.

Today I made a positive step in the right direction and I feel like a ton of bricks have been lifted from my shoulders. I decided to "turn in" my leased car (payments were close to $400!) because I just can't keep up anymore. I don't know how I got myself so buried with it in the first place. Anyway, I had to swallow my pride, ask for help, and borrow money to purchase a cheap, reliable older car. My dad met me at the dealership at lunch time and I'm now the owner of an affordable car. Yes, my credit is now messed up, but hanging onto that car wouldn't make things better. This way I can start working towards the future again. And my tax return this year should be enough to repay back the money I borrowed, or at least most of it.

Tomorrow is a truly new leaf for me as I leave behind the leather, power everything, remote start, 6 disc changer, heated seats...and drive a little Cavalier without even power windows or cruise. But at least I'll be able to live with myself again and maybe even sleep at night again. I have a sneaking suspicion that I'll be able to stick with SBD much better now too...

[LegalBeagle]

I am proud of you for taking the bull by the horns and making positive steps to improve your quality of life, and that of your daughter's. You should always know that you are not alone in experiencing these life struggles. We all have our albatross, our stumbling block, our dirty little secret, if you will, that holds us back from having the life we want so desperately to have. I wish you luck every step of the way toward your new life!!! Hugs!!!