I would like to be a new friend. I can totally relate to all your struggles, and also to not being a dogmatic SB or other program follower. I have been doing my own version of SB, largely compliant but by no means totally, and same as you, if I post a menu, it's only to remind myself what I am doing, not bec of looking for SB feedback. I have a group of very nice people that I befriended here, and they are my support and life line, and there to cheer me on in the hard moments, and to celebrate the happy ones. I also wanted to tell you, having read about your Israel trip back 3 years ago that I lived there for 8 very formative years as a teenager and my mother is there and many friends, so I hope your trip was wonderful and that you have/will have gone back there some day.
I can tell you that same as you, I have restarted my wt loss effort recently, and the most helpful hint I got, which is perhaps what I needed was, "one day at a time". I always look WAY ahead and get discouraged. So, for now, I had two good days, one at a time, and hoping to make this the third one, and so on. And yes, I am also "51 and beyond", and hope to be fabulous for a long time.
So please come by to visit anytime, my jrnl is "jh on sb", and I promise you, you won't be reading about menus there (although maybe it would be better to do that).
Looking forward to connecting with you-