Putting food in its place

[lakegran72]

I am far from being a moderator .........but most of us have modified the South Beach WOE a little, in order to find a comfortable fit that enables us to lose weight ( if that is our goal) and live a healthier life. I don't see any food "police" here only wonderfully kind and helpful suggestions to help us work the plan.

[lakegran2]

((((((((((((((((((where are you?))))))))))))))))))

[amalfi_girl]

Lawn Gnome and Lake Gran--I didn't stay away because I thought it would be *illegal* or against the rules to post here while experimenting with other types of eating styles, I just thought it wouldn't be as helpful to everyone. But I think posting in the Journals should be alright--I just won't post my daily meals so as not to confuse anyone.

I missed everyone!!!

[amalfi_girl]

Yesterday was bad, but also good in a way. It was the first time in a long time that I genuinely overate. The feeling was so disgusting, my stomach killed me and my mouth felt coated in goo. I just felt like a slug. And I knew that all I wanted was to chug water and bring on the next day so that I could eat as clean as possible and get rid of that awful feeling.

I started today with a fruit smoothie--1 T chia seeds, 1 cup raspberries, half a frozen banana and skim milk, along with 1 T unsweetened cocoa powder, some coconut extract, and some maca powder. It felt awesome (and tasted like sorbet). Now I'm continuing to just drink water and think about how I can treat myself extra-well today, eating plenty of healthy, fresh foods and clensing myself of that horrific meal last night.

That alone is such a huge step, because before this whole journey began the LAST thing on my mind would be treading myself well after a quazi-binge. Instead, I'd be beating myself up, feeling fat and ugly, berating myself for my lack of control, etc. Especially in light of the fact that tomorrow is my weigh-in day. I'm very proud of myself for breaking the cycle of binge-berate-binge.

[happymo4]

Hi Amalfi_girl! Thanks for your confidence in my journal! You are so right about getting control of the binge-berate-binge cycle....I am working so hard to get out of it too. It does help to think of the disgusting feeling that you experience after you overeat the wrong foods before you eat them so that you can prevent the binge. I was bad on Monday and it is taking me a whole week to undo the damage. Soooo frustrating.Oh well, I am not going to beat myself up...I am just going to work hard to prevent it from happening again! Hope today goes well for you!
maureen

[amalfi_girl]

Thanks Maureen!

Today I have been treating myself extremely well, especially in light of the fact that (since today is my weigh-in day) I gained two pounds this week. I also measured myself and lost inches since the last time I measured. Then, at work, I got an over the top compliment about how much weight I've lost overall. All in all, a good day, since I didn't let the weight gain get to me and I have been making sure to eat wonderful, nourishing foods today. Here's where I am so far (remember, I'm not really following SB, I'm trying to eat mostly healthy foods and eat only when hungry/only until satisfied:

B: Ezekiel sprouted grain muffin with 1 egg and 1 slice of turkey bacon
S: 2 graham crackers with 2 squares of dark chocolate
L: Asian chicken salad (grilled chicken, yellow peppers, carrots, cabbage, snow peas, water cheastnuts, sesame oil based dressing on the side)

[amalfi_girl]

I was about to write that I'm so confused and I'm thinking about going back on the beach but I'm not so sure and, just seeing it written out, I realized: Of Course I want to go back on the beach. It is a little late today, but I'll write out my menu anyway and tomorrow I think I'll have to get back to Phase 1 for at least a few days until my crazy cravings go away. Poor hubby is probably getting whiplash from all of my zig-zagging back and forth, but the fact is that a "good carb" program always cuts fat more efficiently than any other, and I don't know why I was running from that.

B: Flat Out! light wrap with 2 eggs, 1 morningstar farms faux sausage patty, 1 slice FF american cheese and 5 mini bell peppers (diced)

S: sliced apple, dried mango, tomatoes with basil and FF mozz (1 oz.)

L: hummus with tomatoes, cuc's, 1 T feta and sliced toasted pita, 2 "fun size" chocolates (boo!)

S: Smoothie (FF vanilla yogurt mixed with an orange and some ice)

D: "Italian stir fry" leftovers (recipe on my blog for today)

S: Peanut butter fudge dessert hummus with mini-chocolate chips (2 T)

I'm going back on the Beach! Today doesn't even look that bad now that I'm seeing it in writing. I could have used more veggies at lunch, but other than that (and the fun sized sludge), it's not too bad.

[ladybugmom]

Hi Amalfi! Thanks for stopping by my journal! You think I've been through a lot?!? I just got done reading your journal, I am ticked off for you for your father's behavior and the elevator conversation. The nerve! You have been so positive, even pulling your focus from the scale to cooking, exercising, not feeling ill. Yay you!! hope fully you won't mind if I swing into your journal here and there. I really enjoyed reading it.
Christin

[amalfi_girl]

Thanks so much for the support, Christin! This has definitely been an emotional rollercoaster--in fact, losing weight and actually making it a lifestyle change instead of just a crash diet/quick fix has probably been the most emotional experience of my life (which is why I find it hilarious when doctors say "Losing weight is easy. Eat less, exercise more." Um, ya think?)

Anyway...Back to Phase 1 for a bit to eliminate these ridiculous cravings (e.g. daydreaming about Fiber One 90 calorie brownies. Really? Even my binge-fantasies are tame now!), and so far, so good. Breakfast was yummy, and the people at my coffee shop were kind enough to make my skim latte extra-tasty this morning. It's almost as if they'd know it was substituting itself for my usual sweet-tooth fixes. Here's my day:

B: 2 eggs over medium, 5 mini bell peppers (diced, equalling over a cup of veggies), one slice FF american cheese and 1 morningstar farms veggie patty; large skim latte with Splenda

S: leftover veggies from my Italian stir-fry dinner

L: Large salad (lettuce, tomatoes, peppers, pickles, hard boiled eggs) topped with grilled chicken

S: 2 T dessert hummus (made with rinsed and drained chick peas, vanilla extract, natural PB and SF maple syrup), tuna with olive oil mayo

D: grilled chicken diced over curry red lentils with a wilted spinach and diced peppers

Des. Chocolate PB shake (1/2 c FF ricotta, skim milk, heaping T unsweetened cocoa powder, 2 splendas, ice and 1 t natural PB)

Exercise: I lifted weights this morning, followed by 20 minutes of cardio on the stationary bike. I love when my muscles are sore! It's like I can feel them growing!

[amalfi_girl]

I feel good again today. I'm proud of myself for doing so well yesterday, taking care of myself even though I didn't feel totally great emotionally. I had trouble sleeping last night, but woke up and did a workout anyway (20 minutes on the stationary bike). Here's my plan:

B: 2 egg whites and 1 egg scrambled with 1 cup diced bell pepper, 1 slice FF american cheese and 1 morningstar farms faux sausage patty; skim latte with splenda

S: 3/4 cup leftover curry red lentils w/veggies from last night

L: fajita chicken salad (grilled veggies and chicken over lettuce and tomato) with 1 T guacamole

S: 2 T dessert hummus, remaining 1/4 cup leftover red lentils w/veggies

D: Greek salad with grilled chicken

S: 1/2 cup FF plain greek yogurt, skim milk, 1 T unsweetened cocoa, 2 splendas, ice (blended to make a "shake")

[Chris55]

Glad to see you're back and on track. You know the first week is going to be rough, but you'll get through it. Then your energy will return!!

Forcing yourself to exercise is an accomplishment. It's amazing how lousy you feel when you start, but so much better when you're done. The exercise will hopefully help you sleep better, too!

[ladybugmom]

Kudos on exercising, even with other things going on! It is such a boost when you finish.

[amalfi_girl]

Thanks Chris and Christin!

Chris, it feels so good to be back on the Beach. It's insane how eating in other ways (i.e. eating fake food or food made with a bunch of white flower) makes me feel so awful and encourages me to overeat, which compounds the awful-ness. When I eat on the Beach, I don't have any drive to overeat, so I have this perfectly satisfied feeling all day long. I have yet to feel "overfull" after a single meal or snack, and that (for me) is a huge sign that this way of eating is really compatable with me (sometimes I feel like it was meant for me).

Also, you are both so right about exercise. Sometimes I force myself not to think about it for the first five minutes (promising myself that if I still hate it after that, I can get off), but by the time I remember I'm exercising it's usually already past 10 minutes and then I figure, may as well finish. I always feel great when I'm done.

Tonight is a party at my boss' house. It starts at 6 pm, so I'll probably have a more substantial snack at 4:00 p.m. in case there's nothing there that I can eat and I need to wait until after for a real dinner. Usually, though, there is at least shrimp cocktail and crudites, so that should be a good bet for me.

B: 1 egg and 3 egg whites scrambled with a faux sausage patty and 1 slice FF american cheese; "Green Smoothie" (handfuls of spinach, FF cream, skim milk, splenda, peppermint extract and unsweetened cocoa)

S: FF Greek yogurt

L: Asian grilled chicken salad w/no noodles

S1: Tuna with FF mayo

S2: 35 calorie miso soup with extra seaweed

D: Hopefully SB-friendly food at the party but, if not, home made SB-friendly chili

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

[amalfi_girl]

It has been a really hard week. I am not bouncing back from all of the "comments" I've been receiving the way I thought I would. Basically I've just been stalled out and feeling a lot like I did two years ago, which is pretty frustrating considering all of the emotional work I've put in over that time to not feel that way ever again. UGH!!!!!!!!

Anyway, I had a moment this morning where I thought about just having cereal with fat free cool whip for breakfast (which is, for me, like having rice crispie treats) rather than an SB-friendly egg number, and I thought to myself No. I am not going to give up on myself. Even though I didn't have any veggies left in the house, I made myself a breakfast that was as close to SB as possible (because I couldn't do a real SB breakfast without veggies). I wish that I could force progress, I've been so stalled for so long (I think the last time I actually lost weight was when I first went on south beach (when this journal began). I was 242 in September 2010 when I started SB, then I got down to 238 and that is where I've stayed ever since. I tried so many differeint things--stepping up exercise, switching to Weight Watchers, then just calorie counting, then back to SB. It is so frustrating, especially when I look at my handsome, fit husband and feel like a giant next to him. I just want to feel delicate, just once. He loves me, tells me I am beautiful and I know he means it, but I can't feel that way. I just feel huge. Hulking. Massive. Totally unfeminine. If I let myself dwell on it I feel like crying, so I'll just chalk it up to a bad week and write out my menu and force myself to try:

B: 1 Flat Out light with 2 eggs, 1 slice FF american cheese and 1 morningstar farms faux sausage patty; large skim latte with splenda
S: FF plain yogurt
L: Spinach salad
S: Dried mango and turkey jurkey
D: Grilled salmon with steamed veggies
S: Fat free cool whip mixed with unsweetened cocoa powder and splenda (makes a nice rich chocolate mousse)

[lakegran2]

So happy to see you back!
The dessert hummus sounds interesting do you use it as veggie dip?
sounds like a good addition to my 'brown bag" recipes