SB a year and 13 days, 65 lbs down but I am afraid I'll slip

[frieda]

I am at the 65 mark Yea! but...I lost 40 about 5 years ago and decided to have just one croissant with dark chocolate, then just one mocha with white chocolate ...full sugar and decided to keep doing that and I ballooned back and then some. So irritating. Especially when your job was as a model some 20 years before! I got tired of avoiding old friends to such an extent I actually hid in Target while my parents talked to an old boyfriend, my new friends got to know me as the size I was so they didn't know what to compare me to. The old friends would have been a little surprised but wouldn't have treated me any differently, it was me and my feelings about myself that I started noticing finally.

It has been almost entirely painless, I eat more fatty food & more processed food (if I'm in a hurry I drink an Adkins shake to replace a meal) than I should, and have been trying to add more fruit like frozen blueberries to snack on . Love Kale sauteed in olive oil or smart balance with garlic and pepper. I do love sirloin steak so was so happy it was one of the lower fat choices.
I can't stand chicken breasts unless they are really moist or in a sauce so I still ate thighs even though they were forbidden.

One thing that is new to my life now is that I almost always eat breakfast, never did before just coffee.
I will saute the kale or spinach and mushrooms, add red pepper and a little bacon or ham to egg beaters and a little swiss cheese and I am good to go until at least 12.
SF kool aid with shaved ice was my favorite sweet if I had to have one in the beginning. Then the ricotta with lots of saigon cinnamon, but I couldn't stand the low fat or no fat one.
I actually crave salad at night. I "nuke" parmesan cheese so it is a little melted around the edges and put that on romaine lettuce or spinach , with some almonds or sunflower seeds, s&p olive oil and vinegar . Doesn't sound exciting but I love it. I'll eat other things too but almost always a salad .

My dessert almost every night is fiber one cereal with vanilla soy and some cool whip or 15 calorie whipped cream. Lately I've been grabbing that little bowl of frozen blueberries.

Through all of this I started selling Dove Chocolate Discoveries and I have still kept up the weight loss, only taste my products but when I want to wolf down a bowl of mousse I have been able to substitute something else or just a taste. Life is just too short to be so embarrassed I'd hide from friends and get mad when someone tagged me with a fat photo on facebook.
Hoping here I can find some people who can keep me on track. I'd love to support anyone else if they need it too.

[RedRox]

Sound like you have mostly found what works for you. I don't think there is anything wrong with being afraid of slipping really. Every day we wake up we still have to make good choices for ourselves. That doesn't change from day 1 to day 100 to day 1000. Fear of going back to the way we were can be a good motivator to continue on the SB journey. I'm afraid of having to do P1 again, so never wanted to put myself in a position where I would have to do that! The routine gets easier over time, but the knowledge of what we can return to is always there lurking around IMO. It's just a choice we have to work with every day. We have to eat. We know what works for our bodies and long term weight management and we know what doesn't. We just have to continue to choose the path that is in line with our long term goals and health.