emotional!?

kidesign · Fri May 16, 2008 3:48 pm

Ok, this is it. I just told myself in the mirror that Im not going to be fat anymore. I told myself that Im not going to fail again. Im going to do this and do it right!! Today is day 2 on my diet. Last time I weighed myself, I was 218. I have 11 yr old twins and a 2 yr old running wild around the house. My biggest thing that will bring me down will be bordom.. so Ive got to keep myself busy! Can you believe that I used to be a nutritionist for a weight loss place?? It was years ago- I was fresh out of school- I looked good in those days! But they didnt know the dark side of that.. the starving, the diet pills,- it was so unhealthy! Ive always battled with my weight- Ive got to be a strong example to my own children.. . Food has been my enemy- every time I would eat, I would regret it.. its like living in prison! Your mind doesnt let you think about anything else except how FAT you will look.. My daughter is 11 and is ALREADY concerned with her body- always trying on diff outfits and tearing them off because she hates how she looks.. I didnt do this to her- I never share my body issues with her-- but she knows I talk about how we need to buckle down and eat heathier- thats always a goal.. I dont buy chips or goodies-- but my husband (who is thin) always wants to take them to get ice cream and gets them candy from the gas station-- I dont fuss- I just say- "that wont help!" This new SB thing is a way of life- Ive done Adkiins before and lost- but it creeps back in 5 days or less!!
SB sounds like it will be good for the family long term. Im excited to get started and I look forward to reading every one else's stories.. wish me luck!

kidesign · Sat May 17, 2008 5:04 am

B - 2 tblsp peanut butter crunchy
1/4 cup of cottage cheese with some tomato
ok- the morning was weird- and I didnt have time for egg

L - ate out and had some grilled chicken fajitas with the veggies and salsa (of course not tortillia) also some black beans

D - squash meddly with some cut up polish sausage grilled together- melted cheese on top - some spicy mustard.

snacked on almonds and had a fudgesickle for dessert. lots of water

Im preparing for a yard sale- was a rough day for food

pedsrn · Sun May 18, 2008 2:51 am

I'm sorry about your past but you seem to be strong and willing to move on with life. Good luck on SBD! There's lots of support on these boards!

Kev2380 · Mon May 19, 2008 5:52 pm

Kidesign,

I can totally sympathize with you. When you said "can you beleive I used to be a nutritionist?" I'm going threw the same ego crushing situation. I used to have 10% body fat. I've always considered myself in super good shape. When I told people I thought I was getting fat, I used to get the dirty looks and people saying "what are you talking about, you're skinny". I noticed in the last 5yrs that wasn't happening. I also noticed I would be out of breath over things that were easy to accomplish. I still considered myself in shape. Even though I was 40lbs heavier then the weight I was accustomed to before. When I went to the doctor and he told me I had high blood pressure and needed to lose 15-20lbs, my first reaction was defensive. I felt insulted. Soon after I realized my doctor was suggesting what he knew was best for me. He told me because he cared and said what I needed to hear. He explained that I could live the way I currently was and would probably feel fine but in my late 40's or 50's I would be at a high risk of having a massive heart attack.

That was the kick in the pants I needed. I don't really like SBD but I do like that I can see it has worked for so many people. My main issue with it, is the cutting out of so many foods that i like in phase one. I mean c'mon no bread? Eating a hamburger with no bread is blasphemous in my opinion. :) I will try this though because I want to live a long time for my wife and family. I'm sure you want to as well for your children. At least you know you need to do something, now you can work on doing it. Good luck and it seems like there's plenty of people on here for support.

kidesign · Tue May 20, 2008 1:53 am

Hey, I see you are really active - that will definitely speed up the process- some people like to do the diet only and figure the magic will happen- but it takes a combination or it is doomed to fail. Ive been trying to walk 8-10 miles a week - the hot weather is helping a bit. Seeing everyone's diet also helps to give me some ideas on what to eat. tonight I had
chick tenderloins dipped in egg batter and then in the almond flour
fried them up in the skillet with my alloted amount of oil- was really good! Also, I get those frozen big bags of squash medley and fry them up as my side dish.. pretty good meal- its going to be hard coming up with exciting things to eat- lunch is the hardest for me- i always end up eating turkey roll ups- or a salad... boring..
I hope Im not destroying phase I by eating a fudgepop (sugar free).. but they say we can have one?? it sure does give me hope by the end of the day.. especially after a walk. hang in there and good luck.

kidesign · Thu May 22, 2008 7:07 pm

Well, Im getting discouraged. I am already sick of the foods Im eating.. so I find myself getting a spoonful of peanut butter and my consolation prize.. its the natural kind.. but I know Im only limited to 2 TBLsp a day.. I went overboard yesterday..
I also fixed some chili- has k beans, b beans, onion, lean HB, and tomato sauce - I bet its all wrong- and I added some cheese on top with a little SC - I figure that was my dairy for the day-- I feel a little thinner but Im not weighing myself until next Friday (at the Dr office).. so Im making that my goal.. Im still walking about 8 miles a week.. and Im wearing those athletic sweat shorts- so that helps with water weight. Since the weather is warmer its not as fun to fix a meal on the hot stove.. this weekend we will be having steaks- my downfall has always been wanting to eat the fat thats crispy from the grill.. I know its gross-- but I know there are some people out there that like it! hee hee.

muffintop · Thu May 22, 2008 7:21 pm

Has anybody here tried the Beck diet solution? I ask because I am very interested in the psychological side of weight gain and loss. What I fin interesting about Phase 1 is how I am learning so much about how I think about food: my expectations, the emotionakl cravings, the rationalisations, etc. Maybe it would be useful to have a thread about this? I intend to post regularly about the matter in my journal. what about OA? anybody have any experience?


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