| rainbow~beach
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ladybugnessa wrote: rainbow~beach wrote: ladybugnessa wrote: oh are you SURE you want to marry him????
seriously... i would never be married to a man who criticized me.
I'm sorry he's being a jerk.
I think part of the problem is that he hasn't managed to lose weight for the wedding (he needs to lose about 30 lbs) and he's worried what we'll look like in the wedding photos :roll: He doesn't usually criticise, it's just he can't understand why I didn't carry on losing weight after my first 28 lbs.
I have another LOAD to shed (approx 160 lbs!!!) and P1 starts for BOTH of us when we get back from our honeymoon!
OK he has not managed to lose his weight and yet he's ragging on you for not losing more than he has to lose all together...
please. i was nearly 300 pounds when I married my 420 pound husband and that's one awesome looking couple in our wedding pictures. Love shows past a lot of stuff....
I still see a lot of problems ahead for you with a man who criticises you when he can't even manage to do what he's criticising you about.
I wish you a lot of luck, i fear you are going to need it down the road.
The nerves are setting in (about speaking (making his vows) in front of lots of people and being the centre of attention) - we've been together 9 years and are finally taking the plunge. I really wouldn't be marrying him if he was generally critical about my weight - I've been around the block far too many times to settle for a man who hates my poundage! |
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Wed May 07, 2008 7:57 am |
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| rainbow~beach
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wileybosco wrote: The woman is getting married in 5 days. A hectic time and usually a cause for people to say foolish things under stress. We are so quick to judge strangers and relationships and compare them to our own.
Oh yes, we've had a few "foolish things" moments over the past few months! :oops: And I freely admit that my own patience is shorter than a short thing at the moment :roll: |
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Wed May 07, 2008 7:59 am |
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| Sue1973
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Hey rainbow, Welcome to SBD :D
I wanted to say congratulations on maintaining your weight loss and on the wedding!!!
I too have been through a rough married and now have a good man. ( A good man not prefect man)
I think its wonderful that you can see his side of things and be understanding . Not every comment is meant the way its said in the moment.
I have learned over the years not everyone says what they mean or explains what they thinking and or feeling well.
We all have strengths and weaknesses. |
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Fri May 09, 2008 12:01 am |
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| AleciaBneedstobefreed
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| Tell him to come ask me if it's harder to lose or maintain. LOL! It's incredible that you are even embracing this. |
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Fri May 09, 2008 2:06 am |
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| Gwendela
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I think that it could be the stress of the big day. It could also be misdirected frustration/disappointment. He's probably disappointed that he didn't lose the weight before the wedding too and he's taking it out on you instead of himself.
My husband and I argued quite a bit the week before we got married. He said some not very nice things too. We've been together for 6 1/2 years and the entire time he's encouraged me to lose weight. He's always said that he doesn't want me to do it for him, that he wants me to do it for my health. When I've been on diets in the past, if he sees that I'm starting to stray from it, he'll ask if I should be eating whatever it is. Some people have taken it wrong but I appreciate when he does it because it makes me focus (I tend to give up easily when he's not keeping an eye on me).
Anyways, I hope your wedding went well and I hope you have a happy marriage!! :) |
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Tue May 13, 2008 3:43 pm |
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| Ramonaschack
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| Did he have anything to say about your weight before you started loosing??? I think he should be more supportive, if he loves you for you than why is he trying to make you feel bad for what success you have already accomplished? |
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Tue May 13, 2008 4:03 pm |
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| unsaturatedfattie
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rainbow~beach wrote: ladybugnessa wrote: oh are you SURE you want to marry him????
seriously... i would never be married to a man who criticized me.
i'm sorry he's being a jerk.
I think part of the problem is that he hasn't managed to lose weight for the wedding (he needs to lose about 30 lbs) and he's worried what we'll look like in the wedding photos :roll: He doesn't usually criticise, it's just he can't understand why I didn't carry on losing weight after my first 28 lbs.
I have another LOAD to shed (approx 160 lbs!!!) and P1 starts for BOTH of us when we get back from our honeymoon!
It all kind of starts to click... sounds like he's jealous that you're able to lose the weight and that since he hasn't been able to, can't understand why you wouldn't want to keep doing what he's not even able to accomplish in the first place. It's sort of like... someone with celiacs disease (can't have gluten) watch you eat a big, gooey cookie that they want to have, and then watch you put the other half down for later. Why would you stop?!?! IT'S A BIG GOOEY COOKIE! He just doesn't get that it has to be saved for later... |
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Fri May 16, 2008 8:12 pm |
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| Sugarplum Fairy
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Nothing hurts more than being criticized about your weight, especially by a family member. ESPECIALLY by your Significant Other. If he is criticizing you now about THIS, then WHAT is he going to be critical about in the future?
Sorry. :( |
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Wed May 21, 2008 7:33 pm |
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| rainbow~beach
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unsaturatedfattie wrote: rainbow~beach wrote: ladybugnessa wrote: oh are you SURE you want to marry him????
seriously... i would never be married to a man who criticized me.
i'm sorry he's being a jerk.
I think part of the problem is that he hasn't managed to lose weight for the wedding (he needs to lose about 30 lbs) and he's worried what we'll look like in the wedding photos :roll: He doesn't usually criticise, it's just he can't understand why I didn't carry on losing weight after my first 28 lbs.
I have another LOAD to shed (approx 160 lbs!!!) and P1 starts for BOTH of us when we get back from our honeymoon!
It all kind of starts to click... sounds like he's jealous that you're able to lose the weight and that since he hasn't been able to, can't understand why you wouldn't want to keep doing what he's not even able to accomplish in the first place. It's sort of like... someone with celiacs disease (can't have gluten) watch you eat a big, gooey cookie that they want to have, and then watch you put the other half down for later. Why would you stop?!?! IT'S A BIG GOOEY COOKIE! He just doesn't get that it has to be saved for later...
YES! YES! That's EXACTLY it! He can't understand why I chose to maintain rather than lose more - and so shrink out of my expensive custom-made wedding dress! He COULDN'T see it at all! I LOVE your cookie analogy!
THANK YOU! If he ever mentions weight loss now, I shall say I "saved it for later" :wink: |
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Fri May 23, 2008 11:46 pm |
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| Sugarplum Fairy
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| I am wishing you good luck and peace, whichever path you choose. |
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Mon May 26, 2008 6:51 pm |
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