| LaraAshlea86
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I quit smoking on Dec 26 07, christmas day was my last ciggarette. I know that if i can quit smoking I can do anything. Of course, i gained about ten lbs when i quit smoking, and that is not a positive for me since i already had some pounds to lose. About three years ago, i quite smoking as a new year resolution, and months after gave up my addiction for food. I started the southbeach diet and within the matter of about four months i lost about 30 pounds. I was very strict on my diet. Unfortionately I hit a wek moment in a hard time in my life and picked smoking back up. It wasnt long after that that bad habbit with food snuck back into my life and here I am about two and a half years later weighing about ten pounds more than when i dieted the first time. Maybe I tried taking on too much at once back then... quitting smoking and eating the way i wanted should have been taken on seperatly so that I could have had more will power. The past couple of months I have made changes in my health trying to get myself ready for a diet. I quit drinking soda, french vanilla cappacinos, slowed way down on going out to eat and fast food, and started walking more and riding my bike. I am glad to say that since February, I have lost about five pounds just from making these few slight changes. I feel like now i am ready to conquer this once and for all. It feels so dehumanizing to go clothes shopping and never fit into anyting right. I often look at my self in disgust in the mirror wondering how big im going to have to be to decide it is ENOUGH. My self esteem suffers drastically and my wieght discourages me from the dating game. It took a large toll on my love life before to be ashamed of my body in front of the man I loved. I want to see a summer dress in the window of a clothing store, try it on and just once have it fit and not feel like i have to hide anything. As it stands now, I am teetering on the edge to shop in the plus size... I probably should shop in that section but i am resisting and resulting from it... my clothes do not fit (which makes me feel worse). Good news is that i know south beach works from past experience. I know the first three days are the worst, and after that it is a breeze. I am familiar with the plan so it will be easy for me to follow. I wont feel as overwhelmed or lost this time around as i know how to comply with the diet and what to expect throughout. I am worried about hitting phase three again and failing as i have. maybe i just wont try phase three this time since i feel phase two is the healthiest way of life anyway. WIsh me luck as I begin my journey once again, hopefully for the last time. |
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Sat May 03, 2008 1:38 pm |
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| Chrissypf1
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Congratulations on quitting smoking! That's so amazing... you must feel great.
I'm new here too... on day 4 of Phase one... I completely understand about the self esteem stuff. I am not very pleasant to be around when I am not happy with myself. Right now I am down to about two pairs of pants that I own that are kinda comfortable, I can't even button other stuff! I refuse to buy other clothes, so I need to get the weight off...
We can do this! Good luck!
Welcome back and happy south beaching!! |
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Sat May 03, 2008 4:16 pm |
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| LaraAshlea86
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| yes i know the feeling about the pants. I am down to two paires of jeans that sort of fit and one skirt that is a little tight. it is rare that i go out without a hoodie on.. but that will all change. I cant wait. good luck to you too |
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Sat May 03, 2008 5:54 pm |
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| LaraAshlea86
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| still day one.. very hugry this afternoon. did not do much else than sitting at home, and worked out twice. I do not remember being this hungry last time, but im sure my body will readjust itself. I just took today to myself for thought and reflection... ill eat a peice of SBD cheese cake and drink some chamomile tea, then i will go to bed. What a saturday, huh? tomorrow will be hard as i am going to a birthday party for a one year old and there will be cake and ice cream... mmmmm... i will make sure i eat a full SBD lunch before i go so that i will be full and not even feel a little hungry enough to crave some of the junk i will encounter. |
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Sun May 04, 2008 12:59 am |
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| pedsrn
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good luck this time around. Youre so strong for quitting smoking so I am sure you can do SBD again!
I totaLLY understand how you feel when youre clothing doesnt loook right and youre disgusted by how you appear in the mirror. Today I looked at myself and was so upset. I just have bulges around me and Im sick and tired of them. I was in a bad mood all day... and I still am. Good to know others are dealing with the same issue and that we're trying to fix the problem! Good luck to you and to me too!! LOL |
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Sun May 04, 2008 3:36 am |
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| LaraAshlea86
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| Thank you guys so much for the encouragement it really helps when ou know you are ot alone. We can do it!!! |
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Sun May 04, 2008 12:13 pm |
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| LaraAshlea86
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| I feel great... it is a beautiful day and I am just so anxious and excited to continue doing well on my diet. Last night i marinated two chx breasts in balsmic vinagrett and stir fried them in some chx seasoning... then i added two tbsp of soy sauce, a pkg of frozen broccoli, and a half cup of water and sauted for another five min... it tasted oriental and it was so delicious... thankfully it made 5-7 sevings... oooh now i hvae enough on hand to warm up for my next few meals what a great recipe. i am about to brown a couple clices of canadian bacon, steam some mushrooms, and poach an egg. how yummy! I really have confidence and i am not looking at myself so disgusted today as i know it will change for the better so soon. I stepped on my scale today and was 2.5 lbs lighter than this same time yesterday morning, but i know it is probably water weight and peoples weight fluctuates but it felt great and ill take it where i can get it. I know you shouldnt weigh yourself everyday but it so hard for me not too when im so anxious and excited. I am going to eat breakfast and go for a long bike ride. Today will be a great day. |
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Sun May 04, 2008 12:29 pm |
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| thewalrus
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| Wow, I related to your post so much- I started the same day, am also teetering on plus size, and have also had love life woes due in part to weight. Oy. But no more! We can do this! Bring on day 2! :D |
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Sun May 04, 2008 6:12 pm |
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| LaraAshlea86
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SO the weekend was the easy part. WHen i got to work today, my boss showed me this chocolate mouse in a cookie crust with caramel and whipped cream that she bought for me from a restaraunt this weekend... oh my god!!!!!! NO!!! I told her i was on a diet on friday so i have no idea why she would have done that, it was wrong of her. I took one bite... and then realised that i am RUINING the hard work ive put into myself the past couple days and that all the dreams i have of a great body will be gone and how i will continue to feel this sence of despair if i eat this desert. I am proud to say i did not finish it.. i gave it away. Wow this day is harder than the others. I am truley fighting a little rum and diet coke though... i really dont know if that is against the diet if i use diet coke... is a shot of rum that bad???? Does anyone know???? <--- I dont know... but it sure sounds like a good idea. :?
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Mon May 05, 2008 7:12 pm |
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| LaraAshlea86
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| wow... today is super hard, i keep wanting everything unhealthy and i did not have time to work out yesterday... hoping i will today but i doubt it... got to stay strong |
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Tue May 06, 2008 8:50 pm |
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| PixiesMom
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If it makes you feel any better, my hardest days in phase 1 were days 3 - 7 after that it seemed to get much easier. It seemed that it was likewise for the others that started around the same time.
And good for you being able to turn away from the dessert! Sometimes others can be so insensitive! |
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Wed May 07, 2008 9:23 am |
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| LaraAshlea86
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day 4
yah my boss is definately going to be a problem, she brought me in a chocolate and cream cheese muffin, and macaroni and cheese today, both of which are weaknesses for me. I am strong, i turned away from it all. I keep telling her that i dont want these things and that i am really trying hard to stay on my diet... she said "yah well one time a week wont hurt ya". first of all she doesnt understand that it will.... i will "relapse". second of all, "once a week" shows on her so it surley would on me too, and if i were to cheat once a week i could pick out more tasty things to cheat with than mac n chz and a muffin. :-) wow i feel better now that i got that off my chest.. bring on day 5!!! |
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Wed May 07, 2008 9:48 pm |
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| PixiesMom
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LaraAshlea86 wrote: second of all, "once a week" shows on her so it surley would on me too,
Here's my opinion on this - and not at all a judgement on your boss - as I've never met her. And I'm not saying that these people do this on purpose - but I still think it happens... I think that they like to see people try and fail. Not to be mean but because then their internal voice can say "See so&so she's always on some diet and failing... it's a miserable way to live. I might as well just continue with my habits, not even try and at least enjoy myself." The little oomph to prove them wrong actually motivates me instead of tempting me.
Anyway - didn't mean to be a downer on your journal - feel free to visit my and talk mean about my family & friends too LOL. |
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Wed May 07, 2008 10:34 pm |
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| LaraAshlea86
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In the first week of this phase i did not lose any weight... luckily I didnt gain any either. This morning I weighed myself and behold, I am down another pound. I guess it really is a slow process, I will be learning patience I soppose. Every day I try to ride my bike on one of the local bike trails. The one I seem to like best is about 5 miles.... beleive me I ride a mountain bike so it is a perfect work out. On memorial day I rode the bike and then walked the trail afterwards with my friend. I am beinning to develop a feeling of euphoria periodically during and after excersising. Also, my sister told me about a ten day cleansing (not diet) consisting of lemon juice, honey, cayenne pepper, and water only for ten days that rids your body of toxins. I have been thinking about doing this after I reach my desired weight, to really clean out my body and feel even better. Has anyone heard of or tried this? I want to do as much reserch as I can before I do it because I want to be aware of any dangers it may bring (if any).
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Sat May 31, 2008 3:17 pm |
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| LaraAshlea86
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feels great to read back on when i firts started and comparing it to my outlook now.
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Sat May 31, 2008 3:26 pm |
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