Heather's journal

heather87 · Fri Apr 25, 2008 2:02 pm

So I thought that a diet joural might elp me stay on track this time> I did south beach last summer and lost a fair amount of weight (enough that I fit into all of my old clothes and people actually noticed). Anyways, I defiitely at least gained it all back and then mayb esome...hard to tell because i don't have a scale, but I definitely don't fit into clothes.

I started SB again on wednesday the 23rd and now i'm on day 3!!! It's been a little hard because i've gotten so used to just eating junk food all day. Seriously, i would be perfectly happy eating cookies instead of lunch. After spendig about a month eating food in italy and france etc., i decided that it was defitely time to take control. I'm going back to the states in a little less than 6 weeks, and I definitely want to at least be where i was before I came in January. I have no scale to judge this by---just my old clothes and the mirror. But i know that my body looks different and I know waht it used to look like/ how my clothes fit.

The hardest thing so far has been wanting to eat when I'm bored--which is about 24/7 because I'm currently studying for finals. But i know that the worst time of day for me is betwee 4 and 6, so that's now the time that I go to the gym.

I have a serious love affair with laughing cow cheese when I'm in phase 1 of sb, so i've bee happily eating it for my snacks :) I also starting liking plain yogurt, which is great because it's actually allowed during this phase.

I tend to usually give up the beach after only a few days because I dont' see any change. I know it sounds stupid, but if you feel like you've really changed your eating and you FEEL different, it almost doesn't make sense that you don't look different--even if it's only been a few days. I'm trying to keep a realistic perspective this time, though. I keep reminding myself that I probably won't notice any different for about 3 weeks, especially if i don't have a scale and i'm just judging it by how my clothes fit. Last time, it didn't seem like i was losing anything, but then one day i looked in the mirror / tried on some old jeans and realized that things had DEFINITELY changed! So i'm going to try and remember how it happened last time and just be patient. I know that if i stick with this, it'll work out for the best. I'm just waiting for that healthy food "high" to come back like it did last time so that I can't even IMAGINE eating the cr*p again. After about 5 weeks on SB last summer, I truly had no desire for junk food...it just didn't seem worth it to me AT ALL. At this point, I can keep saying that but I know it's not fully true because I can imagine the taste of chocolate and it tastes yummmmm lol.

Anyways, day 3 is usually the day where i give up---beyond day 3 i know that i'm in for the ful thing. So wish me luck for the rest of the day :)

heather87 · Sat Apr 26, 2008 10:34 am

Well, today is day 4 and I'm feeling good!!! I've pretty much put myself on a schedule--it's definitely really helping. I absolutely make sure that i'm up in time for breakfast so that i can get in the normal food during the day. I've foudn some new snacks to eat that i didn't even cosider last tim ei did south beach--nuts and plain yogurt. I never even knew i liked nuts, but wow peanuts are yum and they definitely help when i need osmethign to snack on.

I think the hardest part so far has been dealing with eating out / going out--but i know that these are always goig to be difficult. The thing is, I'm studying in London and that means i'm going to go to bars and clubs with my frieds. Luckily, i'm studying for exams right now so i don't have to worry about dealing with that yet. But there's really no way for me to be on phase 1 AND basically socialize the way i'm used to. Ideally, I could just tell my friends "ca we eat somehwere different that works ith my diet" or "i'm just not goig to drink sice i'm on south beach," but I don't want to advertise it. At least I don't really have time for the partyig and such right now with all of my exams--but i do want to eat out with my frieds before the semester ends. I've decided that this IS possible, but i should definitely take control of the situatio and *I* should be the one to suggest going out to dinner to a specific place. For example, toight I wat to do diner with friends ad i know that there's a place near me that has good food i can eat. So i'm just going to ask if they want to go to dinner there tonight!

I know that eventually i'm going to eat out--I did it a lot last year and ws still able to eat well. But when my friends tryign to eat cheap because you're in college, there are only so many nights that I can request "american" food before they demand that we have pizza or chinese!

Anyways, I've made it over the day 3 hump, so now I know that i'm really committed. The funny thing is, I actually FEEL like i'm in it for the long haul by this day. I'm still concentrating a lot on every meal and snack and hour i can spare for the gym, but that's only because things are so different right now. I know that within a week, it'll probably just feel completely natural to do the things I'm doing. And hopefully, by the time I go home in June, I'll look as different as I feel :)

heather87 · Sat Apr 26, 2008 10:35 am

Well, today is day 4 and I'm feeling good!!! I've pretty much put myself on a schedule--it's definitely really helping. I absolutely make sure that i'm up in time for breakfast so that i can get in the normal food during the day. I've foudn some new snacks to eat that i didn't even cosider last tim ei did south beach--nuts and plain yogurt. I never even knew i liked nuts, but wow peanuts are yum and they definitely help when i need osmethign to snack on.

I think the hardest part so far has been dealing with eating out / going out--but i know that these are always goig to be difficult. The thing is, I'm studying in London and that means i'm going to go to bars and clubs with my frieds. Luckily, i'm studying for exams right now so i don't have to worry about dealing with that yet. But there's really no way for me to be on phase 1 AND basically socialize the way i'm used to. Ideally, I could just tell my friends "ca we eat somehwere different that works ith my diet" or "i'm just not goig to drink sice i'm on south beach," but I don't want to advertise it. At least I don't really have time for the partyig and such right now with all of my exams--but i do want to eat out with my frieds before the semester ends. I've decided that this IS possible, but i should definitely take control of the situatio and *I* should be the one to suggest going out to dinner to a specific place. For example, toight I wat to do diner with friends ad i know that there's a place near me that has good food i can eat. So i'm just going to ask if they want to go to dinner there tonight!

I know that eventually i'm going to eat out--I did it a lot last year and ws still able to eat well. But when my friends tryign to eat cheap because you're in college, there are only so many nights that I can request "american" food before they demand that we have pizza or chinese!

Anyways, I've made it over the day 3 hump, so now I know that i'm really committed. The funny thing is, I actually FEEL like i'm in it for the long haul by this day. I'm still concentrating a lot on every meal and snack and hour i can spare for the gym, but that's only because things are so different right now. I know that within a week, it'll probably just feel completely natural to do the things I'm doing. And hopefully, by the time I go home in June, I'll look as different as I feel :)

heather87 · Sat Apr 26, 2008 10:35 am

Well, today is day 4 and I'm feeling good!!! I've pretty much put myself on a schedule--it's definitely really helping. I absolutely make sure that i'm up in time for breakfast so that i can get in the normal food during the day. I've foudn some new snacks to eat that i didn't even cosider last tim ei did south beach--nuts and plain yogurt. I never even knew i liked nuts, but wow peanuts are yum and they definitely help when i need osmethign to snack on.

I think the hardest part so far has been dealing with eating out / going out--but i know that these are always goig to be difficult. The thing is, I'm studying in London and that means i'm going to go to bars and clubs with my frieds. Luckily, i'm studying for exams right now so i don't have to worry about dealing with that yet. But there's really no way for me to be on phase 1 AND basically socialize the way i'm used to. Ideally, I could just tell my friends "ca we eat somehwere different that works ith my diet" or "i'm just not goig to drink sice i'm on south beach," but I don't want to advertise it. At least I don't really have time for the partyig and such right now with all of my exams--but i do want to eat out with my frieds before the semester ends. I've decided that this IS possible, but i should definitely take control of the situatio and *I* should be the one to suggest going out to dinner to a specific place. For example, toight I wat to do diner with friends ad i know that there's a place near me that has good food i can eat. So i'm just going to ask if they want to go to dinner there tonight!

I know that eventually i'm going to eat out--I did it a lot last year and ws still able to eat well. But when my friends tryign to eat cheap because you're in college, there are only so many nights that I can request "american" food before they demand that we have pizza or chinese!

Anyways, I've made it over the day 3 hump, so now I know that i'm really committed. The funny thing is, I actually FEEL like i'm in it for the long haul by this day. I'm still concentrating a lot on every meal and snack and hour i can spare for the gym, but that's only because things are so different right now. I know that within a week, it'll probably just feel completely natural to do the things I'm doing. And hopefully, by the time I go home in June, I'll look as different as I feel :)

heather87 · Sun Apr 27, 2008 7:13 pm

I can't believe I'm already almost done with day 5!!! I really wish I had a scale because I'm so curious to see if I've lost anything...but oh well. Today my meals were:

B: 3 egg-white omelette with peppers
S: serving of peanuts
L: Big salad with veggies, some turkey, and some hummus (no sugar added in the hummus...i looked before i bought ;))
S: laughing cow cheese on vegetables
D: went out to dinner. Had chicken and salad. The chicken had the restaurant's peri-peri sauce, and I tried to look up the ingredients beforehand but i'm not positive if i found the exact ones...but i don't think there was any sugar in it

dinner wasn't very filling (i only got a 1/4 piece of chicken...didn't realize how small it would be!). But i'm waiting a while to see if i'm ACTUALLY hungry or just think i am because it wasn't big. If I am hungry in a bit, then I'll have fage fat free plain yogurt.

I didn't get to work out today because it was raining....well, i could have gone running when it stopped raining but I'm in the mood to go to the gym and my gym is closed on sundays.

I think the biggest thing with SB is having patience...i'm not going to notice a difference today or tomorrow or maybe even not next week. But eventually I will--it's inevitable. I just need to keep reminding myself that if i keep going at this rate, then i HAVE to have a difference in 5 weeks. It's just impossible not to.

heather87 · Tue Apr 29, 2008 3:13 pm

Yay - I've made it to day 7. Okay, I guess 7 days really isn't that much considering it took me about 4 months to put on this weight. Hmm....didn't someone say once that it takes you twice as long to get it off as it took you to get it on? i hope that's not true!

Anyways, still no way to see if i'm making any improvements without my scale, but I definitely don't appear any differet. But i really think this is sooo much better without a scale ecause i'm not goig to get frustrated and give up. I'm just going to keep assumig that this is workig so I'll end up stayin ghealthy for the next 4 weeks at least lol. I don't really have much time to go to the gym today, but I think I'm going to go just for an hour to do my cardio. I mean, 1 hour really isn't going to cut into my schedule that much if i just go, run, and then come back. The hardest thing for me is that I'm a huge mood-eater, so I tend to eat a lot of junk when I'm bored. Since i'm studying for final exams, ALL I WANT TO DO is be chewing or munching on something. I almost use food as a form of procrastination. So instead of food, i'm on this board lol or i'm going to the gym.

In addition to eating SBD foods, I've also really been working a lot on not eating at night just because i want to. I really try not to eat after dinner unless I'm hungry (my dinner is at around 8:30 so it's not like i'm starving myself). If i start to feel a little hungry beore bed, i'll drink some water. But if that doesn't help and im legit really hungry (like i was last night), then i'll let myself have a sbd friendly sack, like laughing cow on celery. This is definitely an essential part of losing weight, because i tend to eat most of my calories at night. If i can stop doing that (like i have now for the last week), then i should definitely see results.

This week feels like it's been so long, which is kind of annoying because i just want to be on phase 2 already!! I have never had such a craving for an apple as I have in the last week. It's funny--the same thing happened last summer. All i wanted was an apple!

Anyways, food for the day so far is:

Breakfast: 3 egg-whites with peppers
snack: 20 small peanuts
lunch: tuna salad (with minimal mayo that has about .5 sugar per tablespoon and i think i only use that much), on a big salad with veggies and a small amoutn of low-cal hummus (no sugar)

snack: not hungry, really cant even imagine eating aythign right now. but lunch is also at 1:45 so it hasn't been that long

planned dinner: stirfry chicken with vegetables and a salad

I'm about 7 days down, feelinga whoel lot better about my willpower, and really looking forward to seeing some results (hopefully!). I don't know my weight right now, but my goal weight is 120 pounds. I'm sure that I'm reallllllllly far away from that, but that was my goal weight last summer and i even ended up below. So, i figure it's appropriate for me to aim to get back to that weight since i was happy and felt great at it!

mom2five · Tue Apr 29, 2008 9:56 pm

Hey Heather87, sounds like you are doing great! I know the frustration of really changing the way you eat, and wanting an immediate reflection on the way you look. I am on day 10 of phase 1. Cravings are starting to lessen some. While my scale has shown a weight loss, I have not noticed it in how I look. I think that will come later :lol:

pedsrn · Wed Apr 30, 2008 2:25 am

hey! good luck on your journey and it would be exciting to see the weight on the scale once you get back to the USA. there's something nice about not obsessing about each and every pound in the beginning.

heather87 · Thu May 01, 2008 1:01 pm

thanks for the comments!!! It really motivates me to write in thi journal if I know that people are reading it :)

Anyways, I'm on day 9 and still sticking with it! yesterday wasn't good, though. I had my usual breakfast and lunch (no snack bc they were close together), and then i took a final exam for 3 hours. I was so exhausted from taking the exam / not sleeping much wiht studying that I needed a sugarfree redbull during it. I know, not a big deal bc its sugarfree, but i know we're not supposed to have much caffeine. But i really couldn't avoid it sinc ei wanted to focus on my test and wanted to be awake for hte gym after. Well, i think that may have been a bad idea to go to the gym. I went, ran 4 miles and did 15 minutes on the elliptical and felt great. But by the time i got home and started making dinner, i felt so nauseated. I think i just overworked myself at teh gym and didn't realize because the redbull was keeping me energized! I ate a little bit of my dinner (tuna in a salad), but it made me feel so much worse so i just threw it out. I finally started feeling a little better by 11 and I knew i had to eat (even though it was soi late at this point...), so I had a 0% fage yogurt. Was still a little hungry (sinc ei didnt have dinner really), so I had laughing cow on celery. Clearly, not the most normal eating. But i didn't really have a choice! The wrost thing, though, was that all i wanted was bead or saltines when i didn't feel well, but i refused lol. Today I'm going to go to the gym WITHOUT caffeine before and il lmake sure i drink enough water. Hopefully I won't feel so crappy after.

On another note, I think i definitely am losing weight or at least slimming down. I can definitely see a difference in my face (i have more of a define chin back-ish!), and the love-handles are definitely getting a little smaller. I still can't realy fit into the old clothes comfortably, but the jeans DO button (tight, though). Definitely an improvement!!!!! Especially since it's only been a week! I really think that by the 14 days i'll notice some definite differences and i'll continue ot notice them as i do phase 2 for a week. And i think that by my 4th week on this, things will really be looking a lot better!!!! At least, I hope so!

heather87 · Sat May 03, 2008 12:12 pm

I've decided that even though I can't follow SBD "perfectly," it doesn't mean that I'm not following it! I can't get in the snacks always during the day, I definitely don't have all of the vegetables, and I definitely have way more caffeine than I should. Why? Because I'm a college student and it's just not possible fo rme to follow the rules perfectly. If I'm going to be in the lirary during the day, I (a) can't bring a snack with me that i want to eat unless it's refrigerated, which isn't possible, and (b) i can't eat in the library! But I do what I can. Also, today I slept untill 11--clearly I'm not having breakfast, snack, and lunch. In fact, breakfast and lunch was pushing it. But I made myself have half a container of 0% fage this morning just to put somethign in me and get my metabolism going but not so much that I won't be hungry for lunch (although it is 1:10 and I'm not hungry). Also, tonight my friends want ot go to a restaurant called Wok to Walk. Basically, it's stir fry and you pick your ingredients nad your sauces. I know fo ra fact that not one sauce would probably work on SBD, so I'm going to see if they can just do soy sauce. I don't really see why not...but hopefully. Or maybe they can stirfry just wiht the olie oli and without any sauce?! It's really hard though tryign to be perfect all the time and still tryign to be my age with my friends.

Last night we all went out to a club and I didn't drink while everyone else did. Once we got past the initial pre-drinking at the apartment (when eeryone kept sayign "are you sure you don't want to drink?", it was fine at the club. But my best friend did ask why i'm being so weird etc., and i todl her bc of SBD. She ket sayign i don't need to lose weight and that it wasn't healthy what i did last summer, even though I assured her that what i did as actually the healthiest thing i had don ein a long time. at lesat she ws under the f influence of alcohol when we had this convo so it wsn't awkward and now it's out of the way.

anyways, yesterday and the day before i had unbelievable cravings for chocolate. I seriously was so clsoe to caving in and just going ot the vending machien--it's all i wanted! BUT somehow I fought the urge by REALLLY imaging how I would feel after I finished it after doign SBD for 10 days and actually onticing a difference. Once i thought about that for a while, i still wanted the chocolate but i couldn't bring myself to get it. Sometimes, I just love the sunk cost effect: I've already put in so much time so i may as well keep going.

I looked at some of my pictures from last night, and my face looks A LOT thinner than it did a couple of weeks ago (when it was perfectly round). I just wish i would see more of a difference everywhere else to keep me motivated---but I know that will come, soon. Last summer, I first lost it in my face, then my butt , then the leggs, and then the stomach. So i need to just be patient since it IS only day 11 at this point.

Anyways, my meal plan for today is:

B: 1/2 individual ocntainer of 0% fage yogurt
S: nothing
L: tuna with low fat mayo on a salad with cucumbers (too lazy to go buy more peppers)
S: Laughing cow on celery, probably.
D: Wok stir fry (ideally with just soy sauce)

heather87 · Mon May 05, 2008 8:40 pm

When I wake up tomorrow morning, it will be the last day of the strict first phase. I really can't believe that it's already been 13 days--I just counted on my calendar to make sure that I didn't mess up. It was definitely hard and definitely took a lot of effort, but it also feels like yesterday that I started it. I guess that's both good and bad....good because it went fast, but bad because it feels like yesterday that I was eating junk food lol. There have been some cravings and some serious tests of willpower, but the only thing that matters is that I BEAT those cravings and didn't cave. Whenever I really wanted to break it, I kept saying: "But why...why do you want the chocolate so badly? Are you really hungry? Didn't you just have a snack? Are you board? Are you just trying to hide your feelings? Do you just want something in your mouth?" Thinking through those questions always helped. And if I WAS bored and just wanted someone in my mouth, well I didn't punish myself and force myself to stare at a wall....I would drink water, or a diet soda if I really needed something, or crystal light dissolved in water. There were only two times that I cracked and needed to actually get food in those cases because I was so bored/annoyed---one time, I got some peanuts, and another I had laughing cow. Neither of those was off of the plan, and both times I could have ha a snack anyways if I wanted to, so it didn't really matter. I made a small bag of peanuts last for 10 days because I only had the servings I was allowed--THAT took some serious effort!

I've been exercising a lot, or at least way more than I was before. I tried to do my run outside again today, but my legs were kinda sore from yesterday and I was stressing about things I needed to get done, so it didn't really happen. But I still did SOMETHING, and I'm still eating well, so that shouldn't matter much.

I have definitely realized that I'm NOT hungry at night and that I CAN go to sleep if I don't eat snacks all not. I know that Phase I still probably didn't get me over my chocolate cravings, because I have still struggled with the urge. But I don't think that means that phase 1 didn't work...I just think I'm a HUGE chocoholic and nothign will get me over that. The good news, though, is that I now realize that maybe chocolte is the one thing I can't let myself have, even in small quantities, at least not until I feel like i can really control myself with it.

The first food I'm going to add into my diet is fruit---an apple, to be more specific. I've never been a big grain person---the only real "carby" thing I eat is actually desserts. So I have absolutely no craving for bread or rice or any of that. But fruit....ahhhh....how I would love a crunchy, delicious, sweet apple. I think, when the time comes this week, I will add it in during the afternoon. I've heard that it can sometimes make you hungrier, so it's probably not the best for me to add it in at night. If i have it mid afternoon, though, I can enjoy having it WITH me wherever I am, and it will give me a nice energy burst before the gym.

Speaking of gym, I'e started makign myself go at 5 every day. By putting it into my schedule, it's becoming more of a routine. I also always have energy at that time, rather than in the morning when I'm half asleep until noon haha.

Anyways, I'm still without a scale so I still don't know if this is working. I don't fit into my jeans really yet---well, I can button them, but they're way way too tight. But the waist has definitely started to give me a little more room, an my "fat" clothes from last year (the ones i had to wear when I initially gained the wait but were still even too tight), are now comfortably loose. Oh, and I took my own personal before pictures in a bathing suit (SO SCARY), and I have DEFINITELY lost some of the love handles. I know I'm only 2 weeks in, so there definitely won't be big changes yet, but any change is an accomplishment and I can only imagine what things will be like in 3 ish weeks when I go home. Well, hopefully things are a little skinnier :)

heather87 · Mon May 05, 2008 8:41 pm

When I wake up tomorrow morning, it will be the last day of the strict first phase. I really can't believe that it's already been 13 days--I just counted on my calendar to make sure that I didn't mess up. It was definitely hard and definitely took a lot of effort, but it also feels like yesterday that I started it. I guess that's both good and bad....good because it went fast, but bad because it feels like yesterday that I was eating junk food lol. There have been some cravings and some serious tests of willpower, but the only thing that matters is that I BEAT those cravings and didn't cave. Whenever I really wanted to break it, I kept saying: "But why...why do you want the chocolate so badly? Are you really hungry? Didn't you just have a snack? Are you board? Are you just trying to hide your feelings? Do you just want something in your mouth?" Thinking through those questions always helped. And if I WAS bored and just wanted someone in my mouth, well I didn't punish myself and force myself to stare at a wall....I would drink water, or a diet soda if I really needed something, or crystal light dissolved in water. There were only two times that I cracked and needed to actually get food in those cases because I was so bored/annoyed---one time, I got some peanuts, and another I had laughing cow. Neither of those was off of the plan, and both times I could have ha a snack anyways if I wanted to, so it didn't really matter. I made a small bag of peanuts last for 10 days because I only had the servings I was allowed--THAT took some serious effort!

I've been exercising a lot, or at least way more than I was before. I tried to do my run outside again today, but my legs were kinda sore from yesterday and I was stressing about things I needed to get done, so it didn't really happen. But I still did SOMETHING, and I'm still eating well, so that shouldn't matter much.

I have definitely realized that I'm NOT hungry at night and that I CAN go to sleep if I don't eat snacks all not. I know that Phase I still probably didn't get me over my chocolate cravings, because I have still struggled with the urge. But I don't think that means that phase 1 didn't work...I just think I'm a HUGE chocoholic and nothign will get me over that. The good news, though, is that I now realize that maybe chocolte is the one thing I can't let myself have, even in small quantities, at least not until I feel like i can really control myself with it.

The first food I'm going to add into my diet is fruit---an apple, to be more specific. I've never been a big grain person---the only real "carby" thing I eat is actually desserts. So I have absolutely no craving for bread or rice or any of that. But fruit....ahhhh....how I would love a crunchy, delicious, sweet apple. I think, when the time comes this week, I will add it in during the afternoon. I've heard that it can sometimes make you hungrier, so it's probably not the best for me to add it in at night. If i have it mid afternoon, though, I can enjoy having it WITH me wherever I am, and it will give me a nice energy burst before the gym.

Speaking of gym, I'e started makign myself go at 5 every day. By putting it into my schedule, it's becoming more of a routine. I also always have energy at that time, rather than in the morning when I'm half asleep until noon haha.

Anyways, I'm still without a scale so I still don't know if this is working. I don't fit into my jeans really yet---well, I can button them, but they're way way too tight. But the waist has definitely started to give me a little more room, an my "fat" clothes from last year (the ones i had to wear when I initially gained the wait but were still even too tight), are now comfortably loose. Oh, and I took my own personal before pictures in a bathing suit (SO SCARY), and I have DEFINITELY lost some of the love handles. I know I'm only 2 weeks in, so there definitely won't be big changes yet, but any change is an accomplishment and I can only imagine what things will be like in 3 ish weeks when I go home. Well, hopefully things are a little skinnier :)


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