| colorlvr
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I'm having a hard hard time getting started. What is my problem? I know, I know... I am the only one who knows the answer to that question. I'm just looking for insight - for those of you who have succeeded, what finally "clicked" for you? What made you take the first step and stick with it? Share your story - I need to be inspired.
Something has to make me spark, here. I just can't seem to get started and STAY started, know what I mean?? |
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Wed Mar 05, 2008 11:56 pm |
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| oldpjams
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Why do you want to lose weight?
Is the reason really compelling for you? |
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Thu Mar 06, 2008 12:20 am |
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| wileybosco
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One Question:
What kind of life do you really want??
One Thought:
Claim the life that you deserve! |
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Thu Mar 06, 2008 12:46 am |
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| colorlvr
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Quote: Why do you want to lose weight?
Is the reason really compelling for you?
I want to lose weight because I know it is causing a lot of discomfort for me, and this is taking away from my quality of life. I am tired all the time, my joints hurt (feet, knees, back) I have no energy of vigor. All this from a 35 year old mother of 3! Sad.
Is the reason really compelling - if you are asking if my reason is important or motivating... yes, but I keep making the wrong choices with food *most* of the time. The 5 minute experience of the food always wins out over my long term goal.
I guess I am just being a brat. I want to eat what I want and be thinner too. |
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Thu Mar 06, 2008 12:50 am |
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| oldpjams
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This isn't intended to be mean-spirited, but that sounds to me like your reason isn't really compelling for you. It's just my opinion and not a judgment. I lost and regained weight many times. At one point I couldn't keep up with my kid, my bloodwork was a nightmare, and I figured I wasn't going to be healthy enough to watch my kid grow up. That was compelling for me. I was scared.
How are you making the wrong choices "most" of the time? |
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Thu Mar 06, 2008 1:06 am |
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| colorlvr
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Oldpjams - I have those same thoughts about not being healthy enough to enjoy my children and be here for them. I am in denial about my health - I am sure my bloodwork would also be a mess, and I do have energy and patience issues with my children (weight related for sure!).
I am making the wrong choices most of the time because I just cave right in when I go for a snack and I go for things I shouldn't be eating. (crackers, convenience foods) and I also eat too much. I say "most of the time" because I do have my moments of clarity when I feel strong and do the right thing. (mostly during the day - my "bad" time is always the evenings)
I guess I need to really really focus on bringing my health issues to the forefront more often and create the "compelling" force for myself because I just keep letting the days slip away and make little progress for myself.
Its hard - I am a stay at home mom, and I am lonely. I don't have much "real life" support, and my kids are at trying ages, so I spend a lot of time feeilng trapped and frustrated. And, I eat those feelings away a lot. The fleeting pleasure eating gives me seems to soothe me. (I used to smoke and my weight was a lot easier to control back then!)
Oh well, I've rambled! Thank you for making me think about a few things. It helps a lot. |
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Thu Mar 06, 2008 2:18 am |
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| oldpjams
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| Is it possible to clear out the house of the problem foods for a couple of weeks? |
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Thu Mar 06, 2008 2:41 am |
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| colorlvr
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Its possible, but hard. I have a 2 year old, and she likes her crackers. Plus my other two are fussy eaters, so frozen pizzas, chicken nuggets, and mac and cheese is on the menu at least a few times a week.
I'll definitely go through my cupboards and see what I can get rid of. My older ones developed a taste for peanuts, cheese sticks and hard boiled eggs back when I was on SB in 2004, and those are still some of their favorite snacks, so it is possible for them to "come around" at least a little. I guess I should up the game a little around here and get EVERYONE eating better.
My DH has an opposite problem and is struggling to GAIN weight - so this is an added challenge. |
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Thu Mar 06, 2008 2:48 am |
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| ladybugnessa
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hard core mean girl here (advance warning that this is mean in case you are not up for some honest talk from someone who's been there done that)
1. you talk the talk but you don't believe it. you know all the words to say. but you don't BELIEVE IT. I did not believe it as a young stay at home mom either....
my motivation was at 46 turning over in bed winded me. the hell with the joints hurting or the cranky moods... my bloodwork even eating really badly and being very obese was fine till my 40s. but even with worsening bloodwork I did not care.
2. why do you feed your kids junk?
Quote: frozen pizzas, chicken nuggets, and mac and cheese is on the menu at least a few times a week.
it's junk and your just creating more of the same problem for your kids that you suffer from now. my young kids ate better than I did because i wanted them to eat healthy..... so it was not till they were older that they developed a taste for junky food...
do your kids not do play groups do you not have friends?
sadly we can't motivate you... only you can do it.... |
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Thu Mar 06, 2008 3:19 am |
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| colorlvr
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Nessa, I am SO READY for some honest mean talk, so let me have it! Seriously... I don't want a bunch of "rah rah" fluff. I need something real.
I do talk the talk, don't I? I think about this weight loss business a lot.... so the words come easy. However, the actions do not. Thats my problem. Making that connection. Beginning to "believe" as you say... and then doing it.
How do I "motivate myself" ? I don't even know where to begin. That is why I am here whining and begging for support. I wake up every day and do the same thing and then go to bed totally disgusted with myself. Although, the last few weeks there have been slight improvements. Baby steps if you will. But I feel myself backsliding all the time, it feels like swimming against a current.
I get so caught up in my daily routine and I get carried away and I don't stop to focus on my goals. That is why I am here - I need to talk this out and get myself to a point where I can just put one foot in front of the other.
I'm extremely frustrated with myself.
(I do know that food I listed is junk. I need to pull them all on board with me. They are all fit and trim right now, but these habits I am instilling in them will ruin that later in life. I guess I needed a kick in the pants about that) |
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Thu Mar 06, 2008 3:52 am |
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| colorlvr
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I do have friends, but no one (yes, no one) who struggles with weight. I have a couple who are really "struggling" with 10 lbs... (rolling eyes) I appreciate their goals, but its not the same project as a person who needs to lose 75 lbs.
My two older children are in school and my 2 year old is home with me.
Tell me, Nessa, if you have time - do you remember how you felt as a stay at home mom, and what held you back? |
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Thu Mar 06, 2008 3:57 am |
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| colorlvr
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Wiley -
what kind of life do I want...
I want to learn how to be happy with what I have, instead of always feeling like I have to have more. I want to have energy and enthusiasm for life - and I want it to shine on my children and husband. I want to be more positive, and not so negative. And, I really want to enjoy my life and live it to the fullest, in as many directions as possible.
I heard a quote somewhere once: Love life, and your life will love you. I think that makes a lot of sense. I want to LOVE life again and to feel really alive. Its like a craving or something I've recently developed. Maybe its a mid-life crisis? ;) |
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Thu Mar 06, 2008 4:01 am |
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| whirled peas
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Hey colorlvr--
I very much remember having kids at home. I'm a stay-at-home mom, but my youngest has been in school now for a couple of years (heaven!!)
I think what "clicked" for me was coming to this board and learning, learning, learning. I see you've done SBD in the past....go back and read Kimboroni's FAQ again. Pretend you are starting over. Pretend you are a newbie. Also, if you know the answers, then answer other newbie's questions. Teaching is the best way to learn.
I've dieted since I was 9. What has made this time work was the effort (almost a respecting fear) of keeping myself full and nourished. I NEVER let myself get hungry. I NEVER go shopping hungry! :wink: I saw an Oreo wrapper in the trash (older daughter got it at school) and I started thinking, "Ooooooh, that sounds good." But I stopped and realized that it was actually time to eat one of my good snacks. That's what I mean about keeping yourself full and nourished.
I've kept this weight off for 2 years now. The rest are just vanity pounds :wink: :wink: .
Hope this helps. I do know how you feel. Those feelings come less and less often the more you teach yourself to be in control. |
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Thu Mar 06, 2008 4:33 am |
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| ladybugnessa
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well as a stay at home mom i was nursing and following weight watchers most of the time so my weight was not nearly as bad as it got later on in life.
i was in a very unhappy marriage and ended up being a working single mom when my baby was 3.
the thing about it is everyone is different. my motivation is not yours. you have to find your own road. sad as it is we can't do it for you. if someone could do it for someone else that person would be the richest person in the world.
a lot of this is willpower. a lot of this is basic stuff
eat well to fuel your body at least 80% of the time. for very very very slow loss 90% of the time for a slow loss and 100% of the time for a slightly faster loss. this is not a quick loss plan.
drink water and other calorie free drinks (do not drink your calories)
move your tush.... take the baby for a walk every day... in bad weather find a mall to push that stroller in.
you need to be a bit selfish and take care of you first so you can take care of them. |
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Thu Mar 06, 2008 10:58 am |
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| oldpjams
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| I'm gun shy about talking about how people feed their kids. It usually gets rough. Others hit on it first, so I'm safe? Don't feed your kids junk. It may take a week or two for them to come around, but they will not go hungry. Not for long. My kid eats only real food. He complains sometimes, but not often. It makes it much easier for everyone -- including him in the long run. |
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Thu Mar 06, 2008 1:05 pm |
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