| toese
|
|
|
thinktink, you are so right!! My alone time is when they go to school ha! ha! I did go shopping all by myself Sunday and I did feel a lot better and calmer. Maybe I just need more of it.
So I did try the fake thing and it worked a little (hopefully they didn't catch me rolling my eyes!)
What do you guys do w/ all the constant questions?? You know, how they ask 2 million questions?? DOesn't that get on your nerves? |
|
Tue Sep 18, 2007 2:52 am |
|
| rsisko
|
|
|
Oh, I know too how the irritation begins and it's just uncontrollable; this summer my DD (12 years) complained constantly that I was too often on a bad mood, my DH commented also, and that made me really cross, of course. My DD, an only child, is slightly spoiled, and usually manages to get what she wants, previously by nagging, nowdays more with clever reasoning...
Then I sat down and analyzed my crossness and found out that my serenest periods, when I have had and still have interest to play and talk with her, and have patience to say nicely that I do not want to play, I want to be on my own for a while, are absolutely when I eat right for me. If I have too many sweets, ice cream and other sugary foods, I become a veritable monster and even I don't like myself. But now when I am back with SBD, and eat enough (read: a lot) good fats, I'm lovable, happy and approachable.
And the question age? I loved that, when my DD was about 7. It was a wonderful time, when she learned to think on her own, and wanted to make sense of the world. I think we talked more around that time than ever since, because now she likes to ask her friends first... But maybe it's because she is an only child, all the adults in our extended family (she's the only grandchild as well) have always talked with her and taken an interest in her. |
|
Tue Sep 18, 2007 7:29 am |
|
| ThinkTink
|
|
|
toese wrote: thinktink, you are so right!! My alone time is when they go to school ha! ha! I did go shopping all by myself Sunday and I did feel a lot better and calmer. Maybe I just need more of it.
What do you guys do w/ all the constant questions?? You know, how they ask 2 million questions?? DOesn't that get on your nerves?
You def. need to carve out time for yourself. Take care of yourself and everything else will fall into place. The kids will notice also and then maybe they will chill a bit as well. Time away = refreshed when you're together = less stress with the small irritants that turn in to large ones.
The questions will go away......or at least change in substance. Maybe when you are in the car and they are motoring off at the mouth you can get them to sing to you (which if it were my kids would be almost as crazy as the questions) and then you can tune them out (do I sound like a horrible mom or what!) or sing along and that would change some of the time together. I know my kids LOVE to sing. Maybe that would help? |
|
Tue Sep 18, 2007 12:50 pm |
|
| toese
|
|
|
Well I am glad to see that I'm not the only irritable mom out there.
I get irritated w/ DH too not just my kids just didn't want to admit here. |
|
Tue Sep 18, 2007 6:47 pm |
|
| ThinkTink
|
|
|
toese wrote: Well I am glad to see that I'm not the only irritable mom out there.
I get irritated w/ DH too not just my kids just didn't want to admit here.
Nothing would make me happier than a weekend alone. I sometimes sit and remember what my old apartment was like -- the one I lived in ALONE with no roommates, etc. It was heaven. Sometimes for mother's day I feel like requesting that DH take DD's away for the day and let me just kick back and lie around :oops:....for DD's sake though, I don't do that -- they would be devistated. I think it's only natural to feel that way (crossing fingers at least that it is) you loose a HUGE part of yourself once you are wife/mother. Especially when the kids are smaller and can't do even the most simple things for themself (like make a pb&jwhen they're huuuuuungryyyyy :lol:). Keep your chin up - they will grow and things will change. |
|
Tue Sep 18, 2007 7:18 pm |
|
| rsisko
|
|
|
| BTW, on rage, this morning I had cereal for the first time since starting five weeks ago (it was a diligently weighed 30-gram serving of all-bran Regular with semi-skimmed milk), and after having that and a cup of coffee, I first became really drowsy, could hardly keep my eyes open, then incredibly snappy and intolerable, even for me! I hardly could recognise myself, I was so thunderous! Then the mood passed as if with magic. This taught me to still steer clear of grains in the morning until I don't know when. It was frightening. :? |
|
Fri Sep 28, 2007 12:00 pm |
|
| tyin'aknot
|
|
|
OK, I'm writing this as a mom of a beautiful, super-smart 5 yr old daughter (who sounds a LOT like yours) and also from having my own in-home daycare for 3 years.
1) Kids don't share the same concept/realization of TIME as adults do. Seriously, even if they can read a clock, they can't, inside their little heads and bodies, judge when say 5 minutes has actually passed. That's why it's helpful to put BOUNDARIES on things. Try it. "Momma, can I use the computer?" You: "Not right now, in a little while," will get you another request in 30 seconds. Your concept of "in a little while" probably meant 15 minutes or so. So, in her mind, she feels she needs to ask you every other breath, and she gets FRUSTRATED that her Momma is being so mean to her by ignoring her, etc. One thing I've found very helpful in this situation: Use a kitchen timer. My daughter's idea of a "short bath" is 2+ hours. And although she would be BLUE and ice would be forming on the top of the water, she would throw a fit, whine, beg, etc., when it was time to get out. Now, we agree how long the bath is going to be, we set the timer together, and when the bell goes out, the water goes down the drain, no ifs-ands-or butts :lol:
I have no idea what your personal religious beliefs are (or if you have any), but when I had the daycare in my home, I was taking care of 6 children at one time (many times, all 2nd graders down to infants). Talk about stress! So, one coping trick I did to keep my sanity: Sing Bible School songs ("This Little Light of Mine," "B-I-B-L-E", etc.) The kids had no idea WHY I would just break out into song, but it made them happy and re-directed everyone's focus onto something else.
In reality: It's IMPOSSIBLE to imagine BEATING A CHILD when one is singing "Jesus Loves Me." Seriously, you just can't do it. All the day's frustrations leave when you hear their little voices singing it with you.
(And yes, I had received permission from the parents to expose their kids to Bible stories, Bible songs, etc.) So, no lawsuits were involved in the maintenance of my sanity
Hope this helps... |
|
Sat Sep 29, 2007 10:35 pm |
|
| toese
|
|
|
Yes that does help tyin. My girls go to a private christain school and they do sing bible songs all day long and I do love hearing them sing!!!
The kitchen timer is a good idea. I suppose I can use that.
I just have a short fuse. Always have and I wish and I do pray that I wouldn't be so darn irritated all the time. |
|
Sun Sep 30, 2007 2:20 am |
|
| twinmomplusone
|
|
|
I just read your post today but I wanted to let you know that what you are feeling is pretty normal. I have 3 girls - ages 6 and 3 yr old twins. I work full-time & when we all get home around 5:00 I'm trying to get dinner, do homework, baths, etc.. Sometimes I get irratable just like you. And, it sounds like my girls act the same way. I'll have to tell my 6yo five times to brush her teeth, or whatever else. It's VERY frustrating. I tried the rewards chart for about a week but it's too hard to keep up with. Once you learn what is important to you girls you can use that a leverage. For example, if my 6 yo is misbehaving or not doing her chores we will not let her play computer games or we will not let her sleep with a stuffed toy. That usually gets her to move.
I agree with ThinkTink about the time away. I belong to a Mothers of Twins Group & we get together for dinner once a month. Also, once a year we have a "convention" weekend away from the stresses of everyday life. It's coming up in a few weeks; I can't wait.
So, even though I don't have any great advice just know that you are not alone. |
|
Tue Oct 02, 2007 5:14 pm |
|
| DebbyC
|
|
|
toese wrote: Yes that does help tyin. My girls go to a private christain school and they do sing bible songs all day long and I do love hearing them sing!!!
The kitchen timer is a good idea. I suppose I can use that.
I just have a short fuse. Always have and I wish and I do pray that I wouldn't be so darn irritated all the time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anSpBUxsgAU
I know you don't want/need parenting advice - are you a single parent? It sounds like you're all alone in your journey as a parent. I was VERY irritable with my son when he was younger. Truth? I was NOT HAPPY with my life and I wasn't taking care of my basic physical and emotional needs. but if anyone had approached me about it, like you, i would have said I"m good, I'm fine, I'm happy - but to actually SAY that you have no stressors in your life....I do believe that's the first step into denial = no wait - that's a JUMP OF THE BRIDGE OF DENIAL not the river btw.
Look at the alternative of having your children - that is always an option - ahhh not one you want to consider tho is it?
Your children deserve a few things - constant, unconditional love, boundaries, consistency, and consequences for actions. You have to set the boundaries, be consistent about enforcing them and set reasonable consequences for their actions that are outside the boundaries. Screaming, belittling, grumbling, and having bad feelings in your heart about your children becuase you don't like their actions are not appropriate consequences. As mots said - you have to be the parent, set the boundaries and enforce them consistently and reasonably [not losing the bike for a month becuase you didn't feed the dog....] with consideration of age and maturity of the child.
But first, you have to look inside your self and be honest about what causes your irritability. Is it just your kids - or are you constantly irriitable at everything and just taking it out on the kids? if it is constant that could just as easily be medical or emotional. Its important to look inside - there will be a reason. |
|
Sat Oct 13, 2007 8:51 pm |
|
| onehotmama1125
|
|
|
HAVE YOU HAD YOUR B-12 CHECKED.
Starting south beach I was very irritable and then became tired. i had a period lasting 60+days and then i was loosing hair like made. ( i have thick hair so it was ok) anyways, i was very moody all the time. and at that time i had a 7 and 4 year old.
Since I had a period last more then 60 days and i have mild PCOS but the dr's wanted to do blood work to check and then see my iron levels. they came to find out i have a b-12 defiency and that makes you VERY Moody. Now that I take b-12 i am fine, but if I go a week without taking it my family knows. lol. good luck. |
|
Thu Oct 18, 2007 9:19 pm |
|
| toese
|
|
|
| hmmm not sure but I do know tht my iron is low. I'll try the b12. Thanks!! |
|
Thu Oct 18, 2007 11:14 pm |
|
| jmspeach
|
|
|
| Maybe you have a slight aniexty disorder you need help with from your doctor. Or you could try meditating..... |
|
Mon Oct 22, 2007 8:11 pm |
|
| jmspeach
|
|
|
| Maybe you have a slight aniexty disorder you need help with from your doctor. Or you could try meditating..... |
|
Mon Oct 22, 2007 8:11 pm |
|
| mokajava
|
|
|
Hi Toese !
My 7 year old was quite similar. Very persistent.Very,very,very persistent!
I'll tell you a story :
Every time we would go to the grocery store, a cashier would give my son a balloon. So, one week , we head to the grocery store to do our weekly groceries and we arrive to the cash and my son asks the cashier : "May I have a balloon please ?" The cashier advises him that she doesn't have any....He then proceeded to ask every cashier! All 6 of them ! He asked every week for 3 months. That was a persistent 3 year old!!! :wink:
(I guess they must have stopped this practice because suddenly there were no more balloons to be given and there still aren't!)
And believe me , it got worse from there ! Everything was a negotiation! I then spoke to a friend of mine ( school teacher ) and she advised I should sit and talk to him. I should advise him that even if he asks me 10 times he still won't get what he is asking for and that I would not give in. I had to send him to the bad chair a few times and that was the end of that. He is now 7 and all I have to do is ask him the following : " Do I like to repeat myself?" He knows that his cue to stop asking or to do what is aksed. |
|
Tue Oct 23, 2007 5:05 pm |
|