| tyin'aknot
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Hi - Sorry for such a downer-topic, but I just needed to get some things off my chest...
I live in a rural area, and it seems like there is a cycle in which either everyone is happy in their marriage, and then suddenly, lots of people are getting divorced. Another cycle just started, I could probably name about 5 couples who are in the process of breaking up.
I went to a family reunion yesterday, and learned of 2 more pairs of cousins that are divorcing. One couple would have been married 22 years. Apparently the husband has had a girlfriend on the side for about 5 months. They have an 8 yr old boy.
My husband and I have had our share of ups and downs. Whenever "the divorce cycle" starts, it's like it causes me to be in a rotten mood, question everything, etc. Like I'm suspicious that I shouldn't be jumping on the band wagon?
Does any of this make sense - have any of you also experienced or witnessed anything similar? What are your thoughts or experiences?
Thanks for listening and sharing. |
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Mon Aug 06, 2007 3:06 am |
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| toese
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I live in a rural area as well but before living here I lived in cities.
Yes a lot more people these days are getting divorced. Both my sister and her ex got divorced last year. A year before that my lil bro and his ex.
Smaller towns you notice them more because everyone knows everyone.
If you love your DH then work it out. No one said marriage is suppose to be easy. It's a different story if you are not in love w/ your spouse though. |
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Mon Aug 06, 2007 4:59 pm |
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| chaos&mayhem
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My hubby and I have been married for 16+ years and trust me we go through our ups and downs as well. But as long as you are both commited to each other, then I think you can work through anything.
I have known friends and coworkers that have gotten divorced and it is very upsetting. I can't even imagine being divorced, no matter how difficult things got, I just don't think I could ever do that. Both hubby and I take marriage very seriously and you need to work at it to make it successful. We live in the Atlanta metro area, so we are consumed with our own lives and don't get into other people's business. However, it is disturbing that the divorce rate is so high. |
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Fri Aug 10, 2007 1:03 am |
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| Jadzia
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When we heard my brother-in-law were getting divorced (they had been together for about 20 years), my DH and I did thought about our own relation. At that time, we were in a 'up' part, so it brought us almost closer than the usual...
In general, hearing of people divorcing make us less secured about our own relation. Maybe that some people either were thinking about divorce for a while, and knowing other people who do it just gave then the incentive to make the change.
I'm pretty sure that a lot of couple will just take the opportunity to try to improve their relationship, but it's not something we can see.
When I started going out with me DH, I decided these four things :
1- What I needed from that relation
2- What I wanted (but not essential)
3- What I don't want
4- What I won't ever accept
As long as I love my hubby, and that our relationship respect 1 and 4, I can't see why I would ever get divorced. 2-3 is a grey zone, were compromise have a lot of impact !
We've been together for 9 years... And we'll celebrate our 1st wedding anniversary in a few weeks ! |
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Fri Aug 10, 2007 11:15 am |
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