Dealing and living with non-SBD people

L8krGrl · Wed May 12, 2004 12:25 am

I am a college student and I currently live with my parents, who most definitely do not eat healthy. Our house is stocked at all times with sugary baked goods, candy, chips, you name it.

My cravings for these foods does subside on the diet, and I really never ate bad in the first place, but I absolutely hate seeing all of these forbidden foods. One of the first things the SBD cookbook talks about is "cleaning out the pantry". I simply cannot do that.

I don't find it difficult not to cheat and avoid those foods because I know how detrimental it is to the body chemistry behind the diet. I am curious how others deal with living with or being in close quarters with all of these forbidden foods.

I have always eaten healthy, but now I am committed to truly revamping my eating lifestyle by staying away from sugar and bad carbs. I am noticing that some people close to me almost seem annoyed with my healthy lifestyle. One aquaintance at a bridal shower I was at last weekend was borderline rude making fun of the fact that I was eating the inside of the french bread grinder and threw away the bread. She said, "Oh no, I just simply cannot live like that. I just don't care... Life is too short..."

Any similar experiences out there? How did you resolve it?

julieboolie · Wed May 12, 2004 12:34 am

i feel yah!!
i still have all the "not so good" foods in my house. i am a stay at home mom, and the girls cannot go without cheetos and chocolate chip cookies. i know i know not good for them either, but still they are kids.
and if you sat them down with cookies on one plate and carrots and ranch the either theyd pick the carrots.
anyway, yesterday was my first day and every time i would go get something of mine to eat, i would see all the other stuff.

i seperated all my stuff and put it in another cupboard. the fridge i made my own special shelf. and seemed to help today.

i too have found people to be rude about me hearing that im doing this. their like oh not me i could never give up so and so. im like im not giving up anything, im gaining my health and every once in a while i can have things. geez some people.

good luck

C.Cali · Wed May 12, 2004 12:53 am

L8krGrl,
First of all, I can relate. I have two roommates (a guy and a girl) and our place is stocked w/ chips, sweets, baked goods, etc. and then there's me with my fish, meat and veggies. I've always eaten healthy but of course I'd always have an occasional treat- a brownie or some ice cream here, some chips there...you know the deal. But since my "cheating" is virtually non-existent these days, sometimes it gets tough.
But, when I do feel those "tough times" coming on, I just remind myself of why I'm doing SBD, how I'm going to look when I reach my goal and most importantly, how I'm going to physically feel when I get there.

I've also experienced a lot of what you described at the bridal shower you went to. I was a varsity athlete in college and I GOT annoyed at the times when my teammates would make comments or faces about the way I ate. After having experienced this "phenomenon" over so many years I've really found that it boils down to insecurity. I think that people who snub others' healthy eating habits are just threatened by the fact that there are others out there attempting to physically improve themselves. These women (let's just say women for the sake of argument but really, who are we kidding?) are plagued by society's twisted "thinner is better" and are insecure about other women (such as yourself) striving to be healthier. Only those women who scorn you see you as trying to be as skinny as can be but-- they overlook the fact that you might want to be healthy as well.
I know that got kind of wordy but I hope you got the point.

As a last note...you're going to be on the receiving end of some rude remarks from what I call the "food police" be it your family and/or friends. I always respond by saying something like, "Yeah, I like to fuel my body well" or "My body feels good eating this right now as opposed to that". It's about handling the situation eloquently.

Hope this helps somewhat and good luck with your efforts.

Cali

shishibeach · Wed May 12, 2004 1:11 am

L8krgrl - Maybe at some point your parents will "get it" and start changing their eating habits? Nah, I doubt it very much, but I'm glad that you have the strength to avoid "their" food, because as you know, since it's their house they get to have their food. I have stopped telling people that I'm on the SBD diet (except those I know are my good friends who care enough to support me). When I eat the innards of a sandwich and someone questions me, I just say that I am trying to avoid processed foods, sugars and chemicals - and that usually shuts them up (after they ask if I'm turning into a vegetarian or going back to my "hippy" ways)

One of the drawers in the fridge is "mine" and no one gets to eat what's in there but me. Also have one shelf in the cupboard that is mine alone. I think it's similar to what roommates do....I pretty much make my own breakfast and lunch every day, including weekends, and it doesn't really bother me that there is bread and cookies here, because I have my fudge pops and ricotta stuff and peanut butter cookies.
I do have a problem with my mostly supportive husband though. He cooks dinner every other night and argues with me over whether or not some of his meals are SBD ok. He cannot get the Atkins diet out of his head (which I did a couple of years ago). Fried hamburger patties (ick anyway) are NOT low fat, even if you buy extra lean. Chicken ginger pineapple sausages (fried)are NOT ok (I love these :( ). Fried rib steak is NOT ok (another ick). Buying my favorite nut brown ale so that I can have "just a little" is NOT ok :( . He gets angry with me when I don't eat or drink what he's providing and argues with me over whether or not it is SBD acceptable - and if I say it's not, he says it should be. I suppose I could just cook every dinner, but for various reasons I am not willing to do that..... I don't think he's trying to sabotage me but it sure feels that way sometimes.

Mag · Wed May 12, 2004 8:33 am

Here's an idea I came up with. I should mention that I haven't tried it, but I'll bet it would work, especially in situations with rude or nosy co-workers, acquaintances, etc. Next time you're at the doctor's describe the way you're eating now, and how you plan to eat in the future. Then ask the doctor if he/she thinks that sounds like a good idea. You'd say something like "I plan to switch to lean meats and nonfat dairy products, use wholegrain products instead of refined white bread, cut way down on my intake of refined sugar, replace saturated fats with unsaturated, eat more vegetables, and drink more water. How does that sound?" I imagine that pretty much any doctor would wholeheartedly endorse your plan.

Armed with this, the next time someone makes a rude comment or asks a nosy question, you can just say "Doctor's orders." Or, if you prefer, you could say something like "My doctor and I discussed what I should eat. I hope you don't mind, but I'd prefer to keep it just between my doctor and me." It would be the truth, and you'd be indirectly pointing out that it's really none of their business to pick apart your healthy eating habits.

And as for the "Life's too short" remark, well, it's gonna be even shorter if you keep eating like that! :D

L8krGrl · Wed May 12, 2004 5:49 pm

Thank you everyone for all of your support and suggestions.

I guess I should add that I do have my own SBD section of the pantry and I try to put as much of my food in our extra fridge as possible. (Sadly, this is also where my mom just stored the leftover chocolate cake from Mother's Day!).

I also want to add that my parents try to be as accomodating as possible. My mom made a whole batch of grilled veggies, and chicken for my birthday party last month, as well as making her to-die-for rice and Mexican food for the other party-goers. So, they do go out of their way at times.

I guess the biggest problem is with outsiders or those passive aggressive comments that really do boil down to insecurities like C. Cali mentioned. The other day at Starbucks my sister's friend was trying to sell me on the Strawberries and Cream Frappaccino. She kept going on and on about it. I told her I would never drink one of those again in my life. I think I came across as a bit snooty but she just wouldn't shut up about it. She said, "oh goodnes, you probably looked those up on line" She was right, I did, and one of those suckers has more calories than my dinner, not too mention tons and tons of sugars and carbs.

Well she said, "that's why you look the way you do, and I look the way I do." I guess this is just something I have to accept. People's insecurities with their own body image and who feel threatened by those trying to live a healthy lifestyle. I don't get it though, because this same girl an hour later, asked me how to get her arms toned like mine and how to get a flatter tummy. She wants me to show her stuff at the gym.......

Hellooooo, no amount of cardio or crunches will work if you keep eating crappy!!!

I feel a lot better after reading your experiences. I'm glad I know that I am not the only one who has to deal with this!

jeanlouise · Thu May 13, 2004 2:08 am

Tell people that just have to comment on your eating habits that you have diabetes...that should shut them up!

Tammster · Thu May 13, 2004 2:33 am

Friends are hard to deal with sometimes but people in your household are definitely harder if they are anti-SB. My son is 11 and has watched me eat pretty well most of his life. But, he is a kid and does want the sweets, cookies, chips, sugary cereal, etc. So, I let him pick out ONE "bad" snack and a bunch of good snacks when we shop. He can get whatever he wants (hopefully it's something I don't like!) but he has to eat it slowly over the weeks in between shopping.

He sees it now as an extra treat and not a normal way of eating.

As far as friends/collegues go, yes, some ridicule it but I find that it's getting more common, at least where I live. Watching someone at a restaurant put the bun to the side and just eat the sandwhich inside is not really that strange of a site.

allihoo28 · Thu May 13, 2004 4:17 pm

Hi everyone. Before I started SBD, I WAS that annoying friend. :oops: I am so ashamed. My friend was on SBD and dropped about 20 lbs (she was thin to begin with) and got very grumpy and tired all the time. I was concerned about her (and I think it boils down to the fact that she wasn't eating enough period, not SBD - but I didn't know that at the time). So I was questioning why she was eating this way, saying things like it couldn't possibly be healthy to cut out all carbs, SBD was probably why she was so tired, etc. Hello - totally NOT supportive!!! But anyway, she reached her goal and has been much better ever since on P3. And I have since eaten my words and taken on SBD myself.

The other thing I found myself feeling as she ate her cottage cheese for lunch (and yes, that is all she would have for lunch) and I had my delicious grilled cheese with tomato - was that she was judging me. The feeling of being judged makes people defensive - i.e. the "life's too short" comment.

So, people can be either well meaning and simply concerned (and uninformed) or they can be insecure about themselves and feel judged by you. Just remember - their insecurity is about THEM. SBD is about you. The thing that has worked well for me was mentioned by another poster - just tell them you feel better eating this way.

Good luck, and hang in there.

Mag · Fri May 14, 2004 10:53 am

A strategy that I do use when people encourage me to eat things I shouldn't is just to say "No thanks," or "This is fine, thanks," or "I'll have [whatever it is that you are eating]." If they keep after you, you can just keep repeating yourself. No remarks about dieting, nutrition, or health - just state what you will or won't have and that's that. Stand up for yourself - you're old enough to choose what you want to eat, after all! :)

I don't have to do this very often, though. Maybe it's because I have put my foot down often enough, or maybe because I hang out more often with people who wouldn't want to discourage me from eating a healthy diet.


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