| caffrey
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I sit here completely beyond furious. My daughter is a girl scout and through this year I have had some problems with her leader. The woman is a disorganized, incompetent individual and when I found out that she would be leading again next year, I promptly informed her that my DD would not be reregistering.
Well, get the latest. The girl scouts were due to spend ONE HOUR at our local military cemetery putting out flags on Saturday. We arrived quite a bit earlier than the GS as we were meeting with the Boy Scouts of which our son is a member. All this, I told to the leader. She didn't have a problem with it. My daughter spent nearly 2.5hours in her GS uniform placing thousands of flags on the graves that morning. We never even saw the leader or any of the younger girls scouts although we did see the leader's daughter who said "Hi!" to my DD.
Anyway, I got an email from the leader today to say that she will not give my DD her certificate or patch as she wasn't with the rest of the GS. Seriously. Someone clear a hole in my roof cause I'm about to go through it.
Does anyone have any knowledge of GS procedure and does this sound like something normal or is this woman simply penalizing my daughter because we basically can't stand to be in the same room as each other? I need some advice before I call the local head of GS and FREAK.
You know, I'm a pretty easy going kinda gal and I hate to make an enemy of anyone but this woman is pushing my buttons in the right order, I tell ya. Thanks for any and all advice. |
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Tue May 29, 2007 12:20 pm |
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| Lynt
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| I think you should call, without freaking, and ask about policy. They don't do all their badge work with the leader or group in attendance, and your DD was at the cemetary doing what the GS were doing, and in fact while some of them were there too doing it, twoards the end. Right? So I really feel she should get her credits. My DDs are grown, so it's awhile since I was a leader, but this strikes me as sour grapes. JMO. |
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Tue May 29, 2007 2:03 pm |
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| caffrey
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Thanks Lynt. Yes that's right. She was there before them and, probably I believe, still there when they left. I talked to the Co-Leader tonight who thinks the same as you - sour grapes. Makes me sick to think that someone could be so spiteful to a child purely because they clash with the parent. I really believe I have been very patient too.
Thanks for giving my your 2cents. I was starting to think I was being in some way inreasonable. |
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Tue May 29, 2007 2:17 pm |
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| LegalBeagle
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| I used to be a Girl Scout leader for 4 years. Tell the leader (privately - ALWAYS keep ALL conflict AWAY from the girls - they just don't need it, it causes stress and divisiveness in the troop) that if she does not give your DD the patch/certificate, you will go to council and talk to them. Then do it. But don't be all angry or ranty, be the voice of reason. It will make the leader look even worse. You don't want her to be able to tell the GS council you are one of those "difficult Moms." |
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Tue May 29, 2007 2:59 pm |
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| caffrey
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Thanks Legalbeagle - I appreciate that advice. I have emailed her and laid out the reasons why DD deserves the patch and have asked her nicely to reconsider. If she stands firm, I will take it up with the head of the local scouts as per your suggestion. Gotta spend the rest of the evening reigning in my anger! Must be calm!
I will post back when I hear something. |
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Tue May 29, 2007 3:24 pm |
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| caffrey
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| You would not believe the response I have received. It claims I have 'harrassed' her. I shook for a full 20 minutes after I read it - and I couldn't read it all because my blood pressure spiked so badly that I was actually nearly sick. I have forwarded it to the regional leader. |
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Tue May 29, 2007 9:32 pm |
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| A-Rod
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wow - that's pretty bad. sounds kind of wacko to me.
good luck with this ... such silly stuff over nothing. i feel bad for your DD [and you]! |
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Tue May 29, 2007 9:54 pm |
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| caffrey
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| Thanks A-Rod. I am truly at my wits end with this whole situation. I am a pretty easy going person. Being mean and 'harrassing' people really isn't in my nature. I'd rather curl up in a ball than make someone mad at me, so this is such an appalling slam in my mind. I can't shake it at all and somehow I need to get to sleep tonight. It's already nearing 12.30am here. |
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Tue May 29, 2007 10:24 pm |
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| LegalBeagle
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That is just bizarre. When I was a GS leader, the GS council took ALL complaints VERY seriously.
Try to stay calm and detached as much as you can. Be honest about what happened without being emotional. When you write the letter, try imagining that it happened to someone else, and you are just reporting the facts, you know? If I were you, I would really try to keep my DD completely out of it, as the girls just don't need the stress or bad example of adults fighting over something like that. IMO your DD's GS leader is maybe needing to step back and take a break if she's handling interactions with parents so poorly. Does she have a co-leader to help her with the troop? Maybe you or another parent could volunteer to come to the meetings and help out (which would also enable you to keep an eye on things and make sure your DD is treated fairly).
Another thing you could do is help your DD confront her GS leader, in a respectful and non-argumentative way, and explain to her why she feels she deserves and has earned the badge/certificate. It's good for kids to learn how to plead their own cases with adults, you know?
The rules are pretty clear. If you certify as a parent that your DD did the badge work under your supervision, she is entitled to the badge. PLENTY of badge work and work toward bronze, silver, and gold awards is done at home or away from the troop under other adults' supervision, you know? Your GS leader is NOT following the GS rules OR living by the GS law. |
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Tue May 29, 2007 11:40 pm |
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| caffrey
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Thanks so much for sharing your expertise on this matter, LegalBeagle. Yes, she does have a Co-Leader - who just happens to have handed in her notice as she too is fed up with the Leaders antics. She's a terrific lady and GS have lost a great asset in her.
I hear you about detaching myself emotionally. I hope I wake up with a clearer head tomorrow and I can put down some of my anger and hurt. My DD is only just 7 and can be quite shy at times. I have not explained any of this situation to her as yet, although she will be a little confused not to attend the remaining meetings - yes the Leader also made it clear that DD is done for the year.
You've given me some hope that this will be looked at seriously and not brushed under the carpet. I am praying for some kind of resolution in the morning.
Thanks again for such great advice and insight, LB. |
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Tue May 29, 2007 11:49 pm |
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| LegalBeagle
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| NO LEADER can kick a girl out of her troop or prevent her from attending meetings like that. She cannot do that. Call GS council in your area. It's more likely that they would remove her as a leader. They really want the girls to have a good experience in Scouting, and leaders are held accountable for what they do and say, for sure. |
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Tue May 29, 2007 11:54 pm |
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| LegalBeagle
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| There will also be someone in your area who is over all the troop leaders in your immediate area. That person could help you and talk to the leader - that's her job. |
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Tue May 29, 2007 11:56 pm |
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| caffrey
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| That's interesting, LB. I will keep you posted on what happens tomorrow - my DD and I simply haven't deserved the events of today, that's for sure. |
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Wed May 30, 2007 12:11 am |
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| caffrey
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| Well, the head of the GS here is going to do NOTHING. Absolutely nothing. She said this is purely a clash of personalities. I am having serious second thoughts as to whether my daughter will continue in GS next year - I had wanted to start another troop. This woman knows a lot of people in this very small military community so what do you think will happen when my troop goes out selling cookies? It really isn't worth it to put the girls in our troop through that. |
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Wed May 30, 2007 11:01 am |
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| LegalBeagle
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Maybe is IS just a personality clash, and that's fine, but when she takes it out on your daughter, that is NOT fine and it DOES need to be addressed. It is simply WRONG of them not to address it. That would NEVER fly here.
GS was founded here in Savannah (which is where I live). Maybe you could email headquarters about it?
Can you and the old co-leader get together and form a new troop next year? From the sound of it, I bet you would get a LOT of interested girls who are sick of the present leader's crap. It's not about how many cookies they sell, it's about becoming good leaders, learning good values, and making the world a better place.
The Girl Scout Promise
On my honor, I will try:
To serve God* and my country,
To help people at all times,
And to live by the Girl Scout Law.
The Girl Scout Law
I will do my best to be
honest and fair,
friendly and helpful,
considerate and caring,
courageous and strong, and
responsible for what I say and do,
and to
respect myself and others,
respect authority,
use resources wisely,
make the world a better place, and
be a sister to every Girl Scout.
This leader is NOT being honest or fair, considerate or caring, and she is definitely NOT being a sister to every girl scout. :cry: |
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Wed May 30, 2007 12:43 pm |
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