| RaeRae
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I know this has been brought up in a variety of ways and a number of times, but I felt the need to vent MY experience with people.
First, the back ground - I work in a seasonal "resort" of sorts. I started last year and could barely keep my head above water with all of the work so food and taking care of me was LOW on the list. I'd eat nothing all day, then binge at night, I'd eat sweets all day long to keep awake and never got any exercise.
March 1st I started SB and stuck to it like glue. It was a quiet time at work, DH was gone for 3 out of 4 weeks so I could be as moody as I wanted and not worry about him having me sent away to the looney bin.
Since starting, I've lost 25 pounds (or 22 or 26 or 24 depending on the day). I don't really have a set goal in mind, I like Redroxco's theory that your body will find a place it likes and make a permanent plateau out of it. I've done the math to find the smack dab middle of my healthy BMI, but I have no idea if I'll end up there.
I really started exersizing February 1st - I have an elliptical trainer in the house that I use an hour a day 3 - 5 days a week. The days I don't do that I go to a Bikram Yoga Class. That was step one. Get the body used to moving again.
Then I started Phase I on March 1st. I figure my next move will be to incorporate strength training and maybe trim some portions a little bit. But I've been steadily losing and have loved the recipes and support on this site.
OK so here's the problem - my seasonal guests are starting to come back. They're mostly 40 plus men and women who are all battling weight and health issues. They see me at 25 pounds lighter than they left and are so complimentary and sweet. UNTIL they ask how I did it. I've told some about SBD, but that got me the usual - "I couldn't cut out ________" blah blah blah. So then I went to telling people I just "cut out the bad stuff" and really focused on exercise. They seem dissapointed that there is no magic bullet.
As I write this out, I wonder if they think I am hiding a "magic bullet" from them. Have we evolved in society to the point that "hard work" and "self control" are written off as not useful anymore? I may just start telling people I picked up a cocaine habit!
And I guess that's the majority of my vent here. They're so upset there seems to be no magic bullet that my accomplishment is diminished. I know what my accomplishment is, but it's so hard to be taken in by the compliment, then let down by the back handed - I don't know what it is.
Ok - so clearly after adding some strength training I need to add some self confidence classes! But damn - I knew I could come in and vent to everyone here and many would have the same experiences. IF you managed to make it through the whole diatribe, please share your experiences. Knowing that others are going through it and how they deal with it has made all of the difference to me. |
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Fri May 18, 2007 5:59 pm |
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| oldpjams
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You lose me a little at the end. If there was a magic bullet -- a pill or a potion -- then losing weight that way would be more of an accomplishment? You're doing it the hard way. As with most things worth doing, well you know how it goes.
Personally, I never, ever, tell anyone I'm on SBD. Eat right and exercise is the pat answer. If they push, then it's I eat lean meats, whole grains, lots of fresh vegetables, and I watch my sugar and white flour very carefully. |
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Fri May 18, 2007 6:19 pm |
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| enm
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| I tend to get similar responses from some people. It seems like our losing weight is a personal affront to them- as if they feel we are making judgements about them due to our changing our ways. I tend to want to keep my weigt loss/change of eating habits to myself instead of sharing- although I know one of the ways for a diet to be successful is to actually talk about it. I think we need to just be ourselves, do for ourselves and identify that other people will have to take care of themselves on their own and deal with their mixed feelings about our accomplishments. |
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Fri May 18, 2007 6:31 pm |
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| RaeRae
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Sorry, I surely may have gotten wordy and confusing at the end.
I just meant that I seem to get the feeling from people that because I don't have a "magic bullet" to give them, they look down on my accomplishment. They want me to tell them that I bought _______ or only ate __________. They surely don't want to hear that it was hard work and determination.
It's like people only want to hear about the miracle cure, not the reality.
enm - you're right - I really want to keep it to myself after some of the responses I've gotten. I have a wonderful support group of friends and we keep eachother honest and working toward our goals (and of course the boards here), but I also want to "show off" a little bit. I want to be able to wear my old clothes again and be proud of my body. I'm not talking halter tops and mini skirts - just my old size 10s that are starting to fit again.
I've started making boxes of "too big - clothes" that will eventually be sent to charity. I found irony in emptying my newly arrive box of Southaven Farm mixes and putting my size 14s into the UPS box to go into the garage. |
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Fri May 18, 2007 7:20 pm |
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| RedRox
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Heck at times it seems like half this forum is still looking for the "magic bullet"!! Being told to eat right (And here's a generalized template and some food lists to work with as you figure out what that means for you), exercise more and do that for long periods of time where there may or may not be any movement on the scale just doesn't sit well with people it seems. "Hey if I'm not going to lose 10 lbs in 2 weeks, what's the point of doing this plan vs. the other 100 I've tried" is often a common feeling I pick up on here. (And not picking on anyone in particular.)
Honestly you are giving your "guests" too much power over your own feelings. I don't think they are looking down on your accomplishment. I just don't think they believe they could do the same thing. They are selling themselves short, not you. You can't change others. Maybe you are hoping that your success will inspire others and that is where you feel the disappointment?
Really mentioning SBD by name is almost death in a conversation about healthy eating. It has so many negative images that don't relate well to the reality of it, IMO. I tend to go with the "I cut out a lot of crap foods and I eat healthy ones now" kind of general approach. If pressed, I'm similar to Jams, lean proteins, whole grains, lots of vegetables, cut out the "white" foods, etc.
If they can't accept the "eat right, exercise more" type of response, that's really not your issue. You know you're on the right track. We know you're on the right track too! And you have found the "magic bullet". It's the same one that was there all along before you got "smarter". Just like the rest of us who have had some successes along the way. We all kind of "know" what the answer is. We've heard it a million times in our lifetimes. We just don't want to suck it up and actually do it. Until we do, we're really just on the outside looking in. When we're on the inside, looking out, we can turn the light on and invite them in, but they still have to walk through the door themselves. The door is too scary for most. Too many reasons "not to".
Keep shining brightly! You never know when someone might actually be paying attention, whether you realize it or not! |
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Fri May 18, 2007 7:54 pm |
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| AleciaBneedstobefreed
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| Don't be surprised if people actually tell you that SBD is unhealthy and bad for you. I got that a few times before I started responding with "I eat better and move more" Usually those people who say those things are making excuses for their own failure to change their unhealthy habits. My OB/GYN was ecstatic that I was doing it this way and not some other "unhealthy" way. Go figure! I don't stop eating this or that. I started eating more healthy foods and eliminated junk (mostly :wink: ) |
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Fri May 18, 2007 8:12 pm |
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| Lynt
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| I've explained SBD repeatedly to a friend of mine who keeps asking. She still thinks it's low carb. I really don't specify my diet choice any more. I just tell people who ask that I eat whole foods, whole grains, lean protein , fresh fruits and vegetables and avoid sugar .Also that I exercise 3 to 5 times a week for over an hour each time. |
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Sat May 19, 2007 12:20 am |
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| ladybugnessa
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oldpjams wrote: You lose me a little at the end. If there was a magic bullet -- a pill or a potion -- then losing weight that way would be more of an accomplishment? You're doing it the hard way. As with most things worth doing, well you know how it goes.
Personally, I never, ever, tell anyone I'm on SBD. Eat right and exercise is the pat answer. If they push, then it's I eat lean meats, whole grains, lots of fresh vegetables, and I watch my sugar and white flour very carefully.
exactly. almost word for word to be honest. |
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Sat May 19, 2007 12:46 am |
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| maria38
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I hear what your saying, I have people ask me the same thing about how I lost the weight. When I would tell them SB they would ask me a million and one questions and then they would have neg. comments to make. Well I got tired of that and now I just say...I eat good healthy food, drink alot of water, exercise and really watch anything that is white. Then they ask well now that you lost the weight how long are you going to eat this way? and I think you dumb ass (excuse the language, but some people drive me crazy) it's for the rest of my life. If I went back to eating the way I did before, I would just gain it all back. This is a lifetime committment to myself! Some say that's great and others look at me like I'm nuts (and of course those are the one's that are overweight and say they have tried everything and can't lose weight).
All I can say is thank god I have this forum for support and to vent. |
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Sat May 19, 2007 2:45 am |
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| Love2paint4you
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Amen to each and every one of you. I just say I'm eating healthier, drinking gallons of water, and moving more.
I've got quite a few friends who are a bit bitter that I'm losing and they're not as they're crying their tears into their Venti Starbucks Frappachinos. I hear all sorts of excuses from "I don't like vegetables" to "I don't like to exercise." I just nod and smile. |
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Sat May 19, 2007 11:13 am |
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| RedRox
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In the immortal words of Roseanne Roseannadanna, "It's always something!" isn't it?
My favorite is "Oh I couldn't give up my carbs!" Like I do??? ;) |
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Sat May 19, 2007 11:48 pm |
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| dragonessa
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You guys are awesome! Great responses, all of em.
Redroxco, your first post said it beautifully.
In The Artist's Way (great book) Julia Cameron writes:
Your 'friends' at the bar are not going to celebrate your sobriety.
o yes!
Keep going. And: you inspire me! Thank you!
Love this board :)
Nessa |
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Tue May 22, 2007 6:46 pm |
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| musicmom
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Great thread, here.
It's also classic denial on the part of those who don't want to put in the elbow grease. And we've all been there..... complacency is much easier than hard work, diligence and discipline. It's a defence mechanism for them to keep on with their own way of life and it bolsters their decision to NOT CHANGE, by downplaying your success or seeming disappointed.
I think, too, you meet people along the way who comment on the changes. Well, maybe 90% of them are just "making conversation" like when you come to work and somebody says, "Hi, how are you?" You say "Fine" 90% of the time even though maybe you're really not so fine at that moment. But it's the other 10% who continue to ask how you've lost the weight, how long it's taken you, was it hard, etc. that might be in a place where they are ready to turn that corner. Those are the real friends and those are the exciting conversations when you get a chance to really share with someone the great progress you've made and perhaps be an inspiration in their life. And for those that keep coming back or even ask you for help I guess that would be the point at which you could share about SBD in particular.
I won't be seeing those compliments for awhile yet, but I'm glad I read this thread early and will be prepared. |
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Wed May 23, 2007 4:52 pm |
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| Smurlene
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Oh I am glad that I found this thread! I am sick, sick, sick of hearing bad things about the Beach. People who know that I am following this plan will be outright hostile with me about it. I went to the market the other day with a friend and she was buying pineapple and other high glycemic fruits. She asked me if I wanted any, and I said no I don't eat those fruits except in rare and planned for instances. She said, "This 'diet' you are on can't be good for you if you cut out any fruits. ALL fruits are good for you. You are missing out on essential vitamins and minerals." Meanwhile, my cart was full of oranges, pears, strawberries, and apples. Uh...okay.
And then this woman at the gym asked me how I had lost so much weight when my trainer revealed that I was down 11 lbs this month. I said, South Beach. She said, Oh, I did that back when it was called Atkins. I HAVE to have my baby carrots and tomatoes! I said, I eat those nearly everyday. She just started at me and was starting to object, and I walked away.
Finally, yesterday this woman I know had gastric bypass surgery. She has lost 200 lbs and her skin is hanging everywhere and she has to have surgery to remove it. She said to me, having not seen me in months, "So, you are still doing that diet thing?" "Yes," I said. "I will be on it for the rest of my life." "I just worry about your health. You seem to be losing weight so quickly." I was totally floored. It has taken me 17 months to lose 63 lbs. She lost 200 in 24 months. I eat whole healthy foods. She will never be able to eat even the tiniest piece of whole grain bread for the rest of her life. Sheesh!
It is just so frustrating. I know that what I am doing is incredibly healthy. I know that the changes I have made are for the good. Yet I really believe that people are so sad and angry and frustrated with their own failures that they can't help but take it out on those of us are doing it. |
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Sun Jun 24, 2007 5:37 pm |
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| ladybugnessa
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Smurlene wrote: Oh I am glad that I found this thread! I am sick, sick, sick of hearing bad things about the Beach. People who know that I am following this plan will be outright hostile with me about it. I went to the market the other day with a friend and she was buying pineapple and other high glycemic fruits. She asked me if I wanted any, and I said no I don't eat those fruits except in rare and planned for instances. She said, "This 'diet' you are on can't be good for you if you cut out any fruits. ALL fruits are good for you. You are missing out on essential vitamins and minerals." Meanwhile, my cart was full of oranges, pears, strawberries, and apples. Uh...okay.
And then this woman at the gym asked me how I had lost so much weight when my trainer revealed that I was down 11 lbs this month. I said, South Beach. She said, Oh, I did that back when it was called Atkins. I HAVE to have my baby carrots and tomatoes! I said, I eat those nearly everyday. She just started at me and was starting to object, and I walked away.
Finally, yesterday this woman I know had gastric bypass surgery. She has lost 200 lbs and her skin is hanging everywhere and she has to have surgery to remove it. She said to me, having not seen me in months, "So, you are still doing that diet thing?" "Yes," I said. "I will be on it for the rest of my life." "I just worry about your health. You seem to be losing weight so quickly." I was totally floored. It has taken me 17 months to lose 63 lbs. She lost 200 in 24 months. I eat whole healthy foods. She will never be able to eat even the tiniest piece of whole grain bread for the rest of her life. Sheesh!
It is just so frustrating. I know that what I am doing is incredibly healthy. I know that the changes I have made are for the good. Yet I really believe that people are so sad and angry and frustrated with their own failures that they can't help but take it out on those of us are doing it.
totally amazing what folks believe.... |
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Sun Jun 24, 2007 5:49 pm |
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