| LyndaB
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CndScott808 wrote: Princess Leia with her unique hair buns hit the big screen a year before I hit puberty, and ever since then I've been attracted to cinnamon rolls.
Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... thank God I'm not drinking anything right now... :lol: |
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Sat Nov 19, 2005 1:48 pm |
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| PhoenixEve
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thank you guys for your honest feedback! reading your posts made me realize that i was so overwhelmed by the focus on my loose skin and how a partner might react to it that i did not go one more step and ask myself if i would even want to be around a superficial person that would reject anyone on such an insignificant flaw. heck, no!
now, how does one go about getting a guy? :shock:
thanks for all the handy tips on how to distract from small flaws, the bonus of bringing bellydancing into the bedroom, and how to figure out if a guy prefers flannel or silk and lace. :wink: |
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Tue Nov 22, 2005 5:59 pm |
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| LyndaB
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PhoenixEve wrote: now, how does one go about getting a guy? :shock:
Um... I found mine on the internet... :wink: |
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Tue Nov 22, 2005 6:20 pm |
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| bobojd05
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Hey, so did I, he is the love of my life, and we've just celebrated our 5th anniversary together (not counting the 6 months we were internet/phone/photofriends).
It's risky, and not for everyone, but it worked for me. I found a gem. |
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Tue Nov 22, 2005 10:39 pm |
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| LyndaB
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I've met really nice guys through both kiss.com and match.com. You have the opportunity to "chat" with them right on the site, so no worry about revealing too much of your personal material, like your email address, until you're ready to.
Although I read yesterday that match.com is under fire for allegedly sending employees on dates with people to keep enrollment high. I think that charge will be found to be false. I mean, there are so many people signed up on both sites that I just wouldn't see the need for them to set up dates. |
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Wed Nov 23, 2005 10:29 am |
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| bobojd05
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My BF and I didn't meet on a singles site or in a chatroom. We actually met on a forum board, similar to this one. So we started from one point of similar interest, anyway: The Sopranos :lol:
I noticed the posts he made, and I thought he was smart and funny. It was clear he had a kind heart, and it seemed the 2 of us agreed politically. We just went back and forth in the forum for months, and one day he asked for my email, then my phone number. We talked on the phone a couple of months, and he came to St. Louis. That was it!
I wouldn't trade him for anything. |
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Wed Nov 23, 2005 7:25 pm |
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| LyndaB
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| That is so cool! :D |
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Wed Nov 23, 2005 7:30 pm |
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| bobojd05
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| Yes, Thank You LyndaB. It is the 2nd best thing to ever happen to me in life. First one of course is my son. |
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Wed Nov 23, 2005 7:38 pm |
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| AleciaBneedstobefreed
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OMG, this thread is so funny I'm gonna pee my pants if I don't stop laughing.
The lands end ladies and cinnamon rolls. OMG! :lol:
On a serious note I went through the same anxiety with my very first love when I was 18 (he went home to be with the Lord after battling cancer) and I cried the first time that I took my clothes off in front of him. With the lights off. He talked me into it. :D Anyway, he just hugged me and chuckled and said "This is what you've been hiding from me. There is nothing wrong with the way you look." Now you know why he was a keeper.
He thought I was beautiful, even when I didn't feel that way about myself. I was thin as a rail but I had stratch marks and loose skin that made me terribly uncomfortable. I was young and thought that looking like a model is all that they cared about anyway. :roll:
I don't think men care very much about all that. All the adrenaline blocks out any thought of that stuff anyway. :wink: |
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Thu Nov 24, 2005 4:26 pm |
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| bananajan
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| Alecia, that is so incredibly sweet, what an incredible memory for you to have and share with us. I hope I'm as lucky to have a guy who's ok with what my body is like (hopefully a little thinner by the time I get married!;)). Actually, I know I will, cause I won't settle for anything less! |
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Thu Nov 24, 2005 5:58 pm |
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| LyndaB
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Please... don't even consider "settling". My DH and I both did that with our first marriages...
And we'll both be the first to tell you now... what you want is out there. Everything you want can be found in one person. Stick to your guns. You'll be happy you did. :wink: |
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Fri Nov 25, 2005 12:43 pm |
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| Babybear
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Some others have sort of said what I'm about to, but coming from a one time single mother I want to put it maybe a little more bluntly and a little bit differently...
Before you're intimate with ANY man.. Think of this... You're about to share your most intimate and private self with this person. It SHOULD be one of the most treasured and beautiful things you have to give. Why would you share this with someone you don't feel comfortable with sharing anything and everything else? Share how proud you are of yourself for the changes you've made in your life, for your ability to raise your child(ren) by yourself, for being the intelligent, beautiful, sensual woman that you are. If you're not comfortable sharing those things, then personally I'd rethink being intimate with this person.
I know we all get "urges" and it's hard to control ourselves in the passion of a moment, but we're also not the animals that we sprang forth from and we CAN control those things. If you're not ready to share whom you are on the inside (a woman who went through some hard times and made some changes in her life, her way of eating and living, triumphantly overcoming a very tough battle) then you should really consider whether or not you're ready to share something even more private and sacred. :) |
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Fri Nov 25, 2005 1:50 pm |
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| PhoenixEve
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you guys have no idea the confidence you gave me to relax into finding a partner without having to worry about my body. all your tips, advice and humor helped move me forward into a new stage of my life. thank you!!!!
as i mentioned, i am very shy and had been out of the dating scene for years!!!!!!! but finally decided to lift my chin up high and open myself to new places, new people, new experiences.
a few months ago i met a guy online and we hit it off so nicely that we moved from online posts to email, then talking by phone and finally in person. i was not searching for anyone online but wow! i am surprised by the coincidence that on this thread a few of you mentioned you also met your partner online. the world has changed ! who would have thought that could be possible when i first started dating, more than 20 years ago or imagined it would happen to me when you shared your stories this past november!
i won't take you thru all the boring :twisted: details of my new relationship, other than to say that it is great! you guys were right, with the right loving person, the right time, a great attitude, and some intelligent positioning plus smart costume placement it is all just purrrrfect!
and ladies and gentlement, please do exercise, if you do not. part of my 100 lbs+ weight loss program and maintenance includes exercise, which i have kept up to this date, and wow, sex is great because of the increased strength, resistance, flexibility, and general sense of well being! my boyfriend also exercises and eats healthy, so our, er.... sessions are quite extraordinaire. because of my exercise routine, other parts of me do look quite nice, if i may say so myself :wink: so i show those off to draw attention away from the rest. you guys were right: if someone really cares about you, physical defects do not mean anything!
regarding how i introduced the subject: one day i just casually mentioned that i had lost a lot of weight over time and am always watchful about what i eat and exercise. at another time i talked about how time had left marks on my body in the form of strechmarks, loose skin, etc. you may get a chuckle out of this: this guy loves having the lights on and keeps his eyes open while making love to me. i just wanted to run away but quickly realized that he is looking at me!, not at my defects. live and learn!
months after my original post on this board my thinking has matured on this topic: i see my physical defects as battle wounds, of which i am quite proud. they are unsightly, for sure, but represent battles i fought and won.
guys, your feedback made a difference in the life of this woman. thanks again! |
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Fri Apr 07, 2006 1:59 am |
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| NykNaksMomma
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| Wow how awesome to hear a happy ending to your "story". I really enjoyed reading thru the whole topic. I am lucky enough to have a wonderful man in my life that likes me just the way I am but is supportive of my weight loss venture as well. :D |
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Sun Apr 09, 2006 1:23 pm |
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