| Rev. Bud Green
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Of course, you knew that already.
It must have something to do with the way our brain's are wired. When we see fat, our brains interpret the stimuli as unhealthy, as a lack of discipline, a lack of self-respect. As humans, when we see fat, one thing is clear... we think weakness. Fat people have a much more difficult time at job interviews, getting promoted, etc. Exceptions? Yeah, whatever. Fat sales person? Good luck my friend. You can see the look of disgust on their faces as you pretend to not notice exactly what they're thinking. In fact, an overweight woman in our society is so brutalized. It's a shame. I remember what my oldest sister went through when we were kids, the teasing, the lack of dating, her wanting so much to fit in.
Ironically, it is other fat people who are the harshest towards fat people. They won't openly acknowledge it, however, what is really going on is they see in other people what they hate about themselves.
And what's not to hate?
Being fat is a nothing short of a curse. Imagine your worst enemy on this planet with some magic power where he has the ability to destroy your life with a curse. He partners with a demon who sets in the motion the eventuality the make your life miserable. What does the demon suggest? He says, "Let's make him struggle with obesity... trust me, this will drop his quality of life so far down, it will be a joke".
Unfortunately, we know what happens next when you're fat. Your self-esteem is a fraction of what it should be. You are absolutely humiliated when you bump into someone who last saw you 12 months and 35 pounds ago. Your energy level is nothing short of pathetic. So many important events pass you by as you cocoon yourself into a self imposed prison of anti-social anxiety: Vacations on the beach, road trips to visit friends you've neglected for too long, creative outdoor activities like camping, hiking, rafting, holidays, weddings, reunions, and a trillion other things have either been avoided entirely or if you did attend, then you did not enjoy it nearly to the level it should have because we were too busy being an insecure piece of s**t at home, feeling sorry for ourselves (stuffing our faces, no doubt).
Then there is the world famous battle to the death you do with your wardrobe. Continually cycling through your "fat clothes" to the outskirts of your skinny clothes and back again. You know you should buy more clothes that fit, but that is almost like accepting defeat. Instead, I'll punish myself with fewer clothes now with the promise of a reward of a full closet full of clothes that you can't fit into anymore. I've held on to a few things for almost 10 years.
So now it's the South Beach Diet's turn. Will this be the one? After dozens of failed diets, is this the one that finally sets me free from this prison or will the curse o' misery last all my life? I'm 34 years old. I still have a chance. |
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Wed Jan 14, 2004 3:28 am |
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| Lanette
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Good Luck, I hope this is the diet for you. I agree with all that you have said, as I’m sure most will. I am horrible about criticizing others and my mother has always shamed me because she said that I put down others in order to keep the focus off of my own flaws, it is shameful really, but I do think part of it is true. I also believe though, that I will never be happy with my appearance, too many years of unhappiness I guess. I'll meet my goal and then set a new one, I'll meet my goal and then decide that it didn't change the world after all. I hate being obsessive about my self-image, but I think it is going to take more than a diet to change the inside.
Lanette |
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Wed Jan 14, 2004 2:10 pm |
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| Guest
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| Rev... what can I say? Razorsharp insight. I hope you continue to post here. I look forward to reading more of your experiences. |
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Wed Jan 14, 2004 3:25 pm |
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| nikaki
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Great post....are you a writer? LOL! Well I definitly feel the same as you and agree with most of what u said...looking forward to more of ur insight!!
Keep up the great work!!
:wink:
Loving life on the beach!!
:D |
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Wed Jan 14, 2004 3:28 pm |
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| positron
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| Everyone has their opinion I guess. |
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Wed Jan 14, 2004 5:35 pm |
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| Guest
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| Why would cardiologists laugh at you? Seems a bit odd, but I'd like to hear what you mean. |
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Thu Jan 15, 2004 2:13 pm |
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| planet912
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I am on this diet because of heart health reasons, not because of weight, my husband is on for health a wieght. I must say being a "skinny" person has it's ups and downs too. I am quite flat chested and my husbands side of the family is either average or very heavy. They all tell me that it's because of my weight that I have no boobs and that I have a boys figure.
I'm over 40 with 3 kids and let me tell you, it's a pain in the you know what to shop for clothes since nothing fits right. I don't have hips either. I've heard all my life I'm skinny, but look like a boy. Not a picnic...
I've decided that people just like to critic eachother to make themselves feel better for whatever warped reason. I have many over weight friends and I love them for who they are, not what they look like. I make sure my kids understand the same. Beauty is only skin deep. They all have friends in all shapes and sizes. So it's up to the people to change how society thinks. Unfortunately, there is not enough people like this on the earth. It's the same with race, etc...
Not all "fat" people are bad, not all "skinny" people are either. We all come in different shapes, sizes and colors, rich and poor. You can be any combo of the above and still be a great person. But that's up to the individual. Stop listening to these people that say negative things and feel good about yourself. Self esteem and being a good person should be number one to everything else in your life.
I am truly happy with who I am as a person and really enjoy my life because of it. I'd do anything for anyone as long as they are a good person, not matter what they look like! Keep your chin up, stand proud and think of what is good about you inside -- and it will show on the outside!
Best of luck to you all. |
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Thu Jan 15, 2004 2:38 pm |
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| Rev. Bud Green
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"Beauty is only skin deep"
That really isn't true, is it?
Imagine that a person voluntarily chooses to walk around with human feces smeared all over their face, in their hair, neck, etc. What would you say to such a person?
You would say how digusting that is, you would say how horrible it looks, you would go on and on about how unhealthy it is and how you can't imagine in your wildest dreams why someone would allow themselves to be put in that situation.
Next you would look at the individual, at what's inside them - past the "skin deep" part and you would rightly think this person has so many dysfunctions and weaknesses it's pathetic.
The sad part is, everything I just described is virtually identical to what is going on with people, like us, choosing (or allowing) us to become fat and to remain fat for far too long. Let's not sugarcoat it, being fat is digusting, it looks horrible, it's extremely unhealthy, not to mention all the self-esteem issues, relationship issues, etc.
Yet, here we are (those fat people not seeking to change), continuing to use such mind-numbingly poor judgement when it comes to our health. With all due respect, beauty isn't just skin deep - it goes to the very core of our being. |
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Thu Jan 15, 2004 3:27 pm |
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| Reality
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The Reverend says in his first post that being fat is a curse. I disagree. Being fat is a choice! We choose (yes, me too!) to make wrong choices when it comes to what we eat and how often and to what intensity we choose to exercise. We decide whether to eat a poptart at breakfast or to eat a balanced meal of perhaps an egg, fruit and cottage cheese. We decide whether to sit at a desk all day and then go home and sit in front of the TV eating or whether we take a walk at lunch and continue to exercise at home. It is not a curse. It is a choice.
We need to empower ourselves! Who cares if the world looks at me with disgust? What do I care about? Do I like the way I look? Do I want to die before I have to? Then it is up to me, not others to make changes.
Want to know what a curse is - being in your early 30's, giving birth to a child, nursing the child, finding a lump, go to the doctor and be told it is a clogged milk duct, dying of breast cancer when your baby is 2.
Want to know what a curse is - having someone throw kerosene on your face and burning you alive. You survive but live with the disfiguring scares your entire life
Want to know what a curse is - none of the above. A curse is not living up to your full potentional and making the most out of life; whatever life you are given.
Get up! Move! Empower yourself! It is how you view yourself that counts. Make it happen!!! :D |
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Thu Jan 15, 2004 9:21 pm |
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| Guest too
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Someone who has feces smeared on their body is mentally ill. This has nothing to do with the theory of "beauty is only skin deep." They may be a good person, but they are a good person with a mental illness and until they get their mental illness resolved no one, including themselves would know they are a good person!
It is truly sad that you have this OPINION. Unfortunately, there are too many people with your opinion and not enough with planet912's. If you are not happy with your body then you and only you can take the action to make a change. There are obviously many people thin and beautiful, etc., that feel they are ugly and fat and if they could would change many things about their body.
Look at society, why are so many rich people miserable; models that hate their bodies.... what's the bottom line?
Happiness comes from within. Until you find that you will never be happy with whatever type of body you have. |
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Thu Jan 15, 2004 9:29 pm |
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| positron
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| Okay, for a while this was an okay rant. Now it's just a little odd. |
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Fri Jan 16, 2004 1:50 am |
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| Guest
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| Just curious because I was so fascinated with another topic you posted the other day, Rev. Is there any possibility that you are fat because of all the munchies you eat when you smoke pot? Or do you smoke pot because you are fat and have low self-esteem? |
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Fri Jan 16, 2004 3:49 pm |
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| spring_rolls
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Great post!
You are sooo right! But to add a little twist , add a combination of fat with latina and you have a more deadlier dose!
I say, we live and let live! |
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Fri Jan 16, 2004 4:11 pm |
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| Rev. Bud Green
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Specifically, the reason I became fat was because of a neurological disorder called Gullian-Barre Syndrome that left me in a wheelchair for approximately 9 months. After extensive rehabilitation with physical and occupation therapists, I am basically at 100% recovery. I still have minor residual effects, however, if you knew me, you would assume that, aside from the weight, I'm healthy, normal, etc.
However, once I was afflicted with this condition, it splintered my lifestyle from one of being very active, very physical, and involved in many sports to one of being more sedate, less active, couch potato, etc. I've been recovered for years now, however, I haven't been able to get back to where I once was in terms of the overall quality of life, fit and healthy lifestyle, etc. The seeds were planted and the roots of obesity have grown deep.
As for your question, I only smoke recreationally. Rarely on weekdays, etc. However, you're absolutely right, that certainly doesn't help my weight loss situation any and probably plays a significant part in keeping me this way. |
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Fri Jan 16, 2004 4:41 pm |
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| WONtenor
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| positron - don't give up on medical care for your health problem. Keep searching for a doctor who will respect you. It took me three tries to find a primary physician who actually took the time to ask questions and listen to the answers. The others simply asked "what prescriptions are you on and do you need a refill?" There are good doctors and bad doctors. Don't give up until someone explains to you what is happening and why and what can be done about it. You may find the answer from someone other than a cardiologist. |
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Fri Jan 16, 2004 4:47 pm |
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